


The Storm Will Pass

by BloodstainedBlonde



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Accidental Self Harm, Drug Use, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of depression and mental instability, Porn in Later Chapters, Storms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-21
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2017-12-27 05:05:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 77,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/974662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodstainedBlonde/pseuds/BloodstainedBlonde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If someone had told Michael he would end up in a dingy alleyway, alone and shooting himself up with drugs, he probably would have scoffed.</p>
<p>And then hit them, because he's smarter than that.</p>
<p>If someone had told Gavin he would end up lying in a hospital bed, his two best friends curled up beside him, he probably would have laughed.</p>
<p>And then accepted it, because he was rather accident prone.</p>
<p>And if someone had told Ray he would end up practically reliving his prior years, from dancing in kick ass storms to taking care of drug addicts, he would have sighed.</p>
<p>And just shrugged, because it figures he'd be the one stuck taking care of his idiot friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure I'll ever be happy with the first few chapters, but there's no use prolonging it. If it isn't quite to your liking, it does change and they all become more in character further in the story. Just bear with it, if you may. 
> 
> I'll stick the first few chapters up and update regularly every few days.
> 
> Read and review!

The music was incredibly loud, his head was beginning to ache, and all in all Michael Jones was not having the best time.

And it had absolutely nothing at all to do with the fact that Gavin Free was barely five meters away being rutted against by some girl who, in Michael's opinion, slightly resembled a particularly cheesy Dorito. Five foot two with a hair full of bleached extensions and a face full of make-up, she was nothing at all Gavin’s taste. Michael would know.

He was his best friend.

Regardless of this fact, he was forced to watch as she practically molested said best friend, rubbing her scantily clad body all over him in a poor attempt to dance in time with the music.

Gavin didn’t seem to mind, eyes closed and simply swaying, having enough trouble keeping his balance to be bothered dancing much. He was completely smashed, and had been happily for a few hours now.

Michael turned back to the drink covered table in front of him and rubbed his forehead in agitation. He really did have a headache, and he just wanted to go home. However, he couldn’t just leave Gavin alone, so he simply groaned and got up to go the bathroom.

Screw the table. If Gavin wanted to keep his drinks he shouldn't have gone off with the creature currently grinding all over him.

He pushed open the door to the bathroom (after double checking that it was, in fact, the men’s – to be honest he was more than a little drunk himself) and stepped inside. The disgusting smell that seemed to frequent lower class club bathrooms hit him, making his nose wrinkle subconsciously.

There were two shady looking guys talking quietly in the corner and after an initial glance Michael paid no heed. He undid his jeans and let fly, sighing with relief at the feeling. He shook once, twice, and re-zipped. By this time, one of the men in the corner had left.

The remaining man was now making his way over and after a moment of sizing Michael up, he leant against the wall.

‘Howdy.’ The man greeted.

Michael simply cocked an eyebrow and headed towards the sink.

‘You look uptight. Any chance I could get you something to help you relax?’ the man asked.

‘Not a chance, asshole.’ Michael replied candidly.

‘Are you sure? It’s nothing bad, honestly, and it’s first time free.’ The man said, smiling. He had disgusting, yellowy teeth, a small part of Michael's mind noted.

‘Nah, I don’t really feel like being part of your pathetic attempt at a drugs induction program. Nothing personal.’ Michael said, making a faux sympathetic face.

Unoffended, the man just laughed. ‘Alright. I’ll be here if you change your mind.’

‘I bet you will.’ Michael muttered as he pulled the door open and exited.

He pressed through the throng of sweaty, stinking people and found his way back to the table.

He discovered, as he expected, a few of the drinks had been swiped. What he didn't expect, however, was Gavin to be pressing the previously mentioned slob-girl into the table.

Alright, maybe she wasn't that bad, but the spike of jealousy that shot through Michael slightly distorted his impression of her. He was well aware of his emotional nature, and the sober part of him tried to convince him to give her a second chance. Perhaps he _should_ try and be nicer. However, as he watched Gavin lean back, sweep his eyes over her face and chest, give a lazy grin and dive back into making out heavily with her, Michael disregarded any notions at being reasonable.

She was putting her disgusting, fake, abominable hands all over his Gavin.

His Gavin?

Well, no. But he could have been.

As it was though, it looked like Gavin was pretty content with this girl filling his mouth with her likely disease infested saliva. Michael shuddered.

He ignored the urge to grit his teeth. This was unbelievable. Gavin had dragged him out here, promising a Team Nice Dynamite night out, with drinking and fun. This was not what he’d promised. Surely Gavin wasn’t that stupid. He knew Michael wasn’t one to get pushed aside.

He realised he’d just been standing there, clenching and unclenching his fists in front of the table.

Apparently Gavin had noticed too, because he’d decided to acknowledge his existence and grace him with a slurred ‘Heeyy Michael!’ and a slight wave of the hand. This was right before he went back to swapping saliva with the girl beneath him, of course.

Annoyed, Michael slammed his hand down beside them in an attempt to capture Gavin’s attention. All he received as fruit of his efforts was that Gavin turned his head slightly to the side, still engaged in the kiss (if you could call it that, it looked more like saliva and tongue than any real tact) and a raised eyebrow.

‘I want to go home.’ Michael ground out. At this, Gavin just returned to the kiss. Michael was, to put it mildly, rather shocked. Not to mention furious. Did he really just ignore him like that?

That shit was so not going to fly.

‘Gavin.’ Michael warned. With an irritated sigh, Gavin broke the kiss and stood back up, rolling his shoulders to crack his back and neck slightly. Satisfied, he turned his full attention to Michael.

‘What?’

Michael blinked at him. Then again. And again. He couldn’t really make his mouth form any of the words running through his head.

This was so not Gavin. His Gavin would have given Michael his full attention, used his dumbass brain to figure out Michael was not exactly on cloud nine, and gotten him the fuck out of here. Actually, his Gavin wouldn’t have let him get this annoyed in the first place!

‘What, Michael?’ Gavin asked again, somewhat irritably.

Michael narrowed his eyes. ‘Oh no, don’t worry. Heaven forbid I interrupt your fucking make out session! Am I distracting you, Gavin? So fucking sorry, please do forgive me.’

‘Michael, you’re being a bit over the top.’ Gavin said, furrowing his eyebrows.

‘Fuck off Gavin, you piece of shit.’ Michael spat, and stormed off.

So maybe that last bit wasn’t entirely necessary. But he’ll be damned if he was going to let himself be treated like that. The fucking nerve. He wasn’t some one night stand that could just be brushed off and forgotten about.

Michael stopped. He realised he didn’t have a goal in mind, and he’d just stormed off straight back in the direction he came.

With a frustrated sigh he angrily pushed open the bathroom door and went straight to the sink. He stood there for a moment, hands gripping the sides of the sink so hard his knuckles were turning white.

‘Well, well, well.’ He heard a voice sing song behind him. He glanced up in the mirror and saw the reflection of the man from earlier, still leaning against the wall with a smug smile on his face. ‘Come back, I see. Can I interest you yet?’ the man asked.

‘You can interest me in fucking off.’ Michael spat through clenched teeth.

‘No, but I don’t think that’s what’s best. I think you really do want some of what I can give you.’ The man grinned, his fat tongue peeking out from behind his disgusting teeth.

‘I don’t want anything you have to offer. Now fuck off.’ Michael repeated.

‘Maybe not consciously, but sub-consciously you do.’ The man replied, smiling. He looked disgusting and, well,  _slimy._

‘What the fuck are you talking about?’ Michael asked, not really caring for the answer.

‘Well, you came running straight back here. You could have gone anywhere, even left the building. Instead you came here.’ The man replied, sucking on his teeth.

‘Right. And now I’m about to leave. If you’d be so kind..?’ Michael gestured, requesting the man to move, as he had somehow made his way between Michael and the door while they were talking. He wasn’t sure exactly _why_ he hadn’t punched the man in the face and taken his leave by now, but every passing second strengthened that urge.

‘But I don’t think you want to. I think you really do want some of this. It will just make you relax, and forget about everything bad.’ Yellow teeth prompted, and reached into his pocket. What he pulled out was two syringes, and a small baggie of powder.

‘I could just go out there and get you jailed.’ Michael said simply.

The man swallowed. He was on uneven grounds, and he had to tread carefully.

‘You could. Or you could take this, and make everything go away for a while. I’ve seen the likes of you before, see them all the time.’ He moved in closer as he spoke, and Michael briefly thought about a predator zoning in for the kill.

‘This only really helps you lot. I can see it. The anger. The hatred, all bundled up in your little heads. You need a release? This is it. It’s perfect for people like you. You get in control.’ The man breathed, and offered the objects to Michael, who licked his lips nervously.

He was close. The man could see it.

‘You need an escape? This can give you one. And I can tell that’s what you want.’

Michael swallowed before reaching out and taking the items.

‘Atta boy!’ Yellow teeth grinned.

Michael looked down at the paraphernalia in his hands, momentarily lost. Then he looked up, a hard glint in his eyes, and he shoved past the man, pushing the items deep down in his pockets.

‘When you need more you know where to find me!’ the man called out before the door slammed behind him. Michael ignored this comment and escaped from the bathroom, heading back towards the table. This was stupid. He didn’t even know what he was still doing here, let alone why he was taking fuck knows what from fuck knows who. He sighed.

He’d swallow his pride long enough to drag Gavin out of here and head home. Yeah. That was a good plan. Oh, and he’d dump this shit in his pocket, and they’d laugh about it. Maybe Gavin would get worried. That’d be nice.

However, if the sinking feeling in his stomach as he scanned the room for Gavin and his companion was anything to go by, that wasn’t going to happen. Had Gavin really forgotten about him that quickly? Had he just up and left with that… that girl?

Michael was drawn out of his thoughts by a drunken teenager and a girl who looked to be at least in her mid-twenties.

‘Yo, man.’ The guy waved.

‘What in the _fuck_ do you want?’ Michael asked, rubbing his face in agitation.

‘We were just wondering if we could have our hand at your table.’ The guy nodded, as if that actually made any sense and the girl giggled, tightening her grip around his waist. Michael stood still for a moment before coming to a decision.

‘Fucking have it.’ He spun around, feeling claustrophobic. The walls of the club suddenly felt confining, the throng of bodies pushing in on him. He shoved people out of his way, ignoring the indignant shouts.

He finally burst out of the exit door, immediately leaning against the wall and feeling the cool air on his flushed face. He took a deep breath, sliding a hand into his pocket to feel the thin needles against his hand. He shivered. Fuck this. Fuck everything.

He didn’t even know why he’d let Gavin drag him out here in the first place.

Jesus, was he really getting this emotional over that? He knew that wasn’t really all, of course. He’d just really hoped Gavin would use this night to… To what? Declare his undying love for Michael? Get down on one knee?

Michael shook his head. He pushed off the wall with a growl and chose a random direction to walk. The walking didn’t serve to clear his head like he’d hoped, though, instead leaving him with a worse headache and even more annoyed than when he’d started. Now he’d have to walk home, and he didn’t even know where the hell he was.

‘Fuck!’ He growled and slid against the wall closest to him. He took a moment to take in his surroundings.

It was a dark, dingy alley that was eerily lit only by the streetlamp at the end and the glow of an exit sign. It was silent except for his echoed curse dancing in his ears, and Michael shifted uncomfortably. The stuff in his pocket was digging into his hip, and-

The stuff in his pocket. His heart beat a little faster at the thought, and he found himself pulling it all out and setting it down in front of him. There were two syringes, pre mixed by the looks of it, and a tiny baggy with a small amount of powder inside it. He wasn’t sure about that. Was that if he wanted to make more? He wasn’t exactly an expert but it seemed like a fair amount for an induction. He didn’t even know how much to use! This was fucking insane. He should get up, find a taxi and make his way home.

Except he wouldn’t. He knew that. He’d stumbled all the way out here, after all, and he knew why. He was going to try this fucking shit, and to hell with the consequences.

He stuck his arm out and examined the veins. He thought they looked pretty clear. He’d always been a pretty veiny guy. He picked up a needle, and stopped. Didn’t you have to have a… what’s the word, a tourniquet for this? He was pretty sure you did. Inspiration struck, and he reached down to unbuckle his belt. When he removed it, he used his free hand and his mouth to awkwardly manoeuvre it around his arm, before tying it off.

There. Now he was ready.

He lifted the needle up, examining it in the weak light, and allowed a small smile to cross his face. Here he was, shooting up in some deserted alley like a common junkie. If only Gavin could see him now.

The smile slipped, a frown replacing it, and he banished that thought from his mind. Michael lifted the needle determinedly and stretched his arm out in front of him again. With a deep breath, he pushed the needle into place. His eyebrows furrowed.

How did he know if it was actually in his vein? With a grimace, he pulled the plunger back. Red seeped into the otherwise clear liquid. That was a pretty clear indicator, he thought. With another deep breath, he slowly pushed a quarter of the syringe’s contents in. How much should he inject? Fuck. Shit. This was a bad idea.

He waited. He was about 80% sure something was meant to be happening. Should he push in a little more? So many questions. He should have asked the fucking guy. Oh, _wait_ , he shouldn’t be doing this at all.

Heaving a sigh, he went to stand. Oh. That felt nice. He took another deep breath, enjoying the way the air felt expanding his lungs. He did this several times, head lolling back. He imagined how silly he must look and giggled. The giggling quickly grew into a full blown laugh. He really didn’t know _why_ he’d been so annoyed earlier.

Thinking back, it really wasn’t- actually, why even think back? Why not think forward? Yeah. Think forward. That seemed right.

Gavin… Gavin, Gavin, Gavin. His face floated in front of Michael’s eyes. In his mind, Gavin was smiling, a smile directed all for him. Gavin had such a pretty smile. And such pretty eyes. He had a pretty everything, really, and Michael honestly couldn’t think for the life of him why he’d ever be angry at him.

He suddenly missed Gavin. Finding Gavin actually sounded like the best idea he ever had, and he decided he would stop at nothing. He’d be like in the movies, tracking through any weather, through whatever hell the world would throw at him, to find the one he seeks.

He smiled languidly, and stood. He stayed still for a moment, brushing his auburn curls out of his face, just letting the small sensations wash over him. When did his blood sound so loud? He could hear it rushing in his veins, and he was sure if he wanted too he could stop it but with a mere thought. He wouldn’t, of course. The feeling was much too nice for that.

Speaking of nice things… He spun on his heel and went to leave the alley before he stopped. ‘Oops.’ he whispered, marvelling at how loud it sounded in the silence surrounding him. He turned back around and retrieved his items, before spinning on his heel once more. He slightly overestimated the spin, however, and temporarily lost his balance.

He bumped his shoulder hard into the wall, but didn’t really feel much. He laughed again at how he must look. After the sniggering subsided, he finally composed himself and set off on his adventure.

‘Mogar, the adventurer.' he whispered to nobody.

A few short steps later he stopped yet again, realising he didn’t know where to find his Gavin. He spun in a small circle and stopped, pointing.

‘That way!’ he announced loudly, nodding to himself. Content, he gathered his thoughts (how did they get so far away?) and started walking. He only made it a few more steps before a loud ringing interrupted his musings. He stopped, confused for a moment before it clicked. He reached into both his pockets at the same time, but drew out only his phone.

He stared at it blurrily for a few seconds before swiping his thumb across the screen, accepting the call.

‘Michael!’ he heard. The man in question winced and moved the phone away from his ear.

‘Gavin!’ He cheered happily.

‘Michael, where are you?’ Gavin asked.

‘What?’

‘I said where are you?’ Gavin repeated.

‘I can’t hear you, you sound kinda far away.’ Michael giggled.

‘Yeah it’s the same here. Are you… um, are you holding the phone away from you?’ Gavin asked.

Michael paused. Oh. ‘Yeah, that may have been the problem.’ He snickered, placing the phone next to his ear.

‘Um, alright. Michael, just tell me where you are.’ Gavin said, concern lacing his voice.

‘I’m, um… Well, I’m on an adventure.’ Michael replied seriously. ‘I walked, and I’m not entirely sure where I am. Gavin, come get me?’ He asked, a lazy smile crossing his features at the thought of Gavin retrieving him, taking him home to the warmth.

Theoretically, he knew he should be freezing, but funnily enough he couldn’t feel anything but the beautiful haze encompassing his body. A voice in the back of his head whispered that that was a Bad Thing, that he should be worried.

Michael chose to ignore that voice.

‘Michael?’ he heard. He realised distantly that Gavin must have been talking while he’d been… zoned out?

He hummed happily. Zoning out was nice, he decided.

‘Walter Street. Come get me, Gavin!’ he sung.

‘That runs from halfway through the Nursery to Blackridge! Look around and tell me what you see, and I’ll come find you.’

‘I’m near that bridge with the really cool graffiti. It’s like a really big puzzle!’ Michael declared.

‘Alright, stay put. I’m coming.’ Gavin said.

‘No, I have to find you. Don’t you know that?’ Michael frowned. He was fairly sure that’s how it went.

‘What are you talking about?’ Gavin asked, frustration evident in his voice.

‘Don’t worry. I’ll come find you.’ And with that, Michael hung up. He not-so-gently dropped the phone back in his pocket, and decided to start walking once more.

He looked up. The street lights all seemed to blur into one another, and he realised he was pretty thirsty. Headlights washed over him as car after car passed by, and before long they also seemed to blur into one long, bright light. Each light slowly grew brighter as the cars neared, reaching their climax as they passed, before they faded into that seemingly constant background light.

How odd. He could have sworn it was night.

He took to humming as each light passed. It was rather pleasant, and it sent nice vibrations through his head. It left him rather short of breath though, which lead to him leaning against a lamp post, waiting for the oxygen to spread throughout his body once more.

He was about to set forward yet again when he realised a car had pulled up next to him, and someone was calling his name. He turned in what felt like slow motion and saw that it was Gavin running up next to him. He was yelling some shit about ‘missing’ and ‘staying put’ which Michael deemed unimportant in comparison to the loveliness of the face yelling at him.

Michael was content to just stand there and stare at him, but from the way Gavin had stopped yelling and was staring at him it was evident he was waiting for an answer.

‘I thought you were drunker than that.’ Michael said. He frowned, unsure of where that came from. The words rang true, though, so he realised he must have meant to say it. He looked back up at Gavin (when did he look away?) and saw the concern on his face. He didn’t like that look, Michael decided, so he’d pay more attention to what was being said.

‘-was worried sick. Thought you’d run off somewhere, I-’

‘I did run off.’ Michael interrupted. That was, after all, why he was on his great adventure back.

Gavin managed to look more concerned. ‘Well yeah, but you said you’d make your way back.’

‘And I did, didn’t I? Here I am!’ Michael exclaimed.

‘Michael… you’re on Walter Street. The same street you were on when I called you and you said you were coming home.’ Gavin said.

Michael looked around, at the identical lamp post that hadn’t moved an inch, at the bridge still a short distance away, at the same car parked across the street, and a strange sensation built in his throat.

He sat down on the curb, laughing till tears streamed down his face, when he realised that he hadn’t moved at all.


	2. Chapter 2

  
When Michael awoke in the morning, he’d been deposited on a couch. It looked vaguely familiar and it took him a second to realise it was his. He raised his head to look around, his eyes squinted against the bright lights.

‘Fucking _hell_ that light is bright.’ He said aloud, voice raspy.

He started when he heard a familiar voice coming from beside him. ‘You still going on about that?’ Gavin said.

‘What?’ Michael grunted.

‘Last night. You kept going on about bright lights and adventures and God knows what else.’ Gavin replied as he stood stiffly from the recliner he’d been in.

Michael blinked, confused. ‘What are you-’ he cut himself off when memories flooded his conscious. He remembered Gavin picking him up from that alley, his mumblings and indignancy that Gavin wouldn’t take him seriously, Gav taking him home and taking his coat off and dumping him on the couch-

Shit. His coat.

He bolted upright, emitting a groan from the pain it caused, his eyes wrenching shut without his permission before he forced them open again. ‘Where’s my coat? What’d you- shit, where the fucks my coat?’ he asked quickly, a flutter of panic shooting up his spine. What if Gavin had checked his pockets? Jesus _fuck_ why did he ever take the stuff, they’d never let him get over it if they found it they’d think he was some addicted junkie and-

‘Woah! Relax, it’s hanging on the bloody peg behind the door! I didn’t touch it, why are you getting so worked up?’ Gavin asked, confused. He’d moved forward when Michael had started to get up, but he stepped backward at the glare he received, bumping into the recliner again and falling into a sitting position.

Michael sighed with relief and flopped back down. Thank Christ. Of course if Gavin had found it he would have made a huge fuss, freaking out about diseases and addiction and just over exaggerating the situation.

Gavin wasn’t a huge worrier, but Michael knew this wasn’t something he’d let slide.  
‘Michael?’ he heard.

‘Hmm? Oh, sorry.’ He sighed. ‘I’m just… hung-over.’ He gave a wry grin, before rolling over to get comfortable, cocooning himself in the blankets that had been draped over him.

‘Now get out. And turn the fucking light off!’

He heard Gavin huff an indignant sigh before getting up to leave. He hovered in the doorway a moment, smiling down at the lump of blankets currently known as Michael before he left.

Michael waited a few moments before throwing the blankets off him, rolling off the couch and making his way as tentatively as he could while still moving quickly to the peg his coat was currently residing on.

He patted down the pockets before drawing out the items. He frowned at the small rush of relief it gave him. That wasn’t a good thing. He needed to get rid of this before someone found it and assumed the worst.

He was about to replace the items and head off to get dressed when he was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. He cursed himself for not paying enough attention and spun around, trying to hide the guilty flush that he could feel making its way up his neck.

‘Michael?’ Gavin said, and Michael coughed lightly. Gavin just looked at him, eyebrows furrowed.

‘You… I didn’t turn the light off…’ his explanation trailed off. ‘What are you doing?’

Michael cleared his throat. ‘Putting my coat on, what’s it fucking look like?’ he asked, rolling his eyes and turning back to his coat in what he hoped was a not-guilty manner.

‘You’re in your pajamas.’ Gavin stated.

Michael froze. ‘Well duh.’ He chuckled, lifting the coat off the hook and draping it over his arm. ‘I’m getting my fucking phone out, and then I’m gunna dump it with my other clothes in the bathroom and take a shower. You finished questioning me yet?’ he snapped irritably, praying Gavin would drop it.

‘But you said you were putting it on? And your phones on the coffee table. And you said you were going to sleep when I left!’ Gavin pointed out in an accusing tone. ‘Michael, what’s going on?’

‘Nothing’s going on! Why are you so fucking questiony?’ Michael replied, agitated, grabbing the clothes that had been draped over the back of the couch and heading for the bathroom.

‘That’s not even a word!’ Gavin yelled, following.

‘Since when do you care about whether words are words? You’re the fucking- Did you dress me last night?’ Michael interrupted himself.

‘I- What? Yes, I did. Why does that matter?’ Gavin asked in a frustrated tone. ‘Stop changing the subject, Mi-cool, what’s going on?’ Gavin repeated, the concern in his voice lilting Michaels name in that way that made his heart beat that little bit faster.

Michael shrugged. ‘It doesn’t. Just wondering.’ He said, and turned, blocking the doorway. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a shower to take. In the privacy of my own fucking home, might I add?’

‘Michael-’ Gavin started.

‘Out!’ To accentuate his words Michael gave him a slight push, just enough to get him well out of the way of the door that slammed shut seconds after. Michael remained by the door until he heard footsteps fading away, indicating Gavin’s exit.

When he could no longer hear them he reached inside the shower and turned the tap on full blast, before sinking back against the door. He took a few moments to compose himself before standing once more, shucking his shirt over his head and dropping his pants and boxers in one fluid motion.

He stepped inside and cursed when he remembered he didn’t bother with temperatures. He fiddled with the knobs and stepped as far out of the spray as he could while still being inside the stall, waiting for the temperature to adjust.

He’d almost forgotten that there might be physical evidence remaining of his adventures last night, and upon inspection he discovered that much to his relief, the only mark remaining was a tiny red prick. It wasn’t really very noticeable and he could always brush it off as of unknown origins if someone questioned him about it.

He finished his shower quickly, skimming through soaping and shampooing himself in favour of hurrying his shower up. He didn’t particularly want to go out and face Gavin, but he didn’t feel like standing around in the shower all day. He felt vaguely antsy, and that was odd enough to grab his attention. Michael wasn’t the antsy type. He was content to laze around with his thumb up his ass most of the time.

Gavin was the antsy one, always fidgeting and moving and getting distracted by trivial things. Michael wouldn’t admit it, but he actually liked it. He knew that he was one of the few things able to capture (and hold) the attention of the Brit for extended periods of time. He also knew that whenever Gavin was zoning out of conversation, or losing track of what he was doing, or generally just getting distracted, Michael was able to bring him back with a brief touch or a murmured ‘Gavin’ in his ear.

He was his anchor, he supposed. And he’d be lying if he said that didn’t make him feel special. Gavin trusted him with a lot, and Michael knew that if there was anything important Gavin wouldn’t keep it from him.

So why was he keeping this from Gavin?

He sighed irritably, dragging a hand through his curls. He glanced at the mirror, which had barely begun to fog up with condensation. He peered at himself, at the brown eyes framed by thick lashes, at the light freckles splayed across his face.  
He grimaced. He didn’t see anything particularly good about himself, but he supposed there had to be something. It wasn’t as if he had much trouble pulling girls and he’d never been particularly self-conscious before.

He looked how he looked, and that was how it was.

Again he sighed as he picked up his discarded clothes and dragged them on. Satisfied, he picked up his coat again and rummaged around through the pocket until he found what he was looking for. He had to get rid of it, he knew that much. Last night… It really had felt amazing, he wasn’t denying it, but was it really worth the trouble of someone finding out?

The answer wasn’t as clear cut as Michael would have liked.

He racked his brains for a safe place to put it. He couldn’t do much with Gavin wandering suspiciously around the house. He’d leave them in the bathroom cabinet long enough to kick Gavin out, then get rid of the drugs too.

He almost laughed at the situation. He wondered if many other people went through this.

_Other people don’t always have someone like Gavin there for them._ A voice in the back of his mind supplied helpfully. He scowled at the wave of guilt it caused.

Opening the door to the cabinet, he stashed the needles and little baggie of powder behind some extra razors and shaving cream, muttering about ‘Stupid conscience, can’t even be safe in my own fucking head’ before shutting the door with a bit more force than necessary.

Content enough with the situation at hand, he pulled open the door to his bathroom and poked his head out. No sign of Gavin.

‘Maybe he fucked off back home.’ He wondered aloud.

Heading off down the hallway, he decided to scout his surroundings and make a snack while he figured of a place to dispose of the drugs once and for all.

‘Every adventurer needs his power food!’ he recalled himself shouting to an amused Gavin when they’d arrived home. He’d made a beeline for the fridge as soon as they’d got back, much to Gavin’s dismay, though he’d seen the humour in it. He’d eventually allowed himself to be steered to the couch and get tucked in, complaining about being babied and grown men.

He chuckled at the memory. Last night really was amazing. Well, the end of it was.

With an annoyed huff memories of the earlier half of the night flooded in. Come to think of it, he really hadn’t had any fun until he’d…

He’d what? Shot himself up with some presumably dangerous, unknown substance? This was ridiculous. He had to remember that the cause of his euphoria had been some fucking illicit drug he’d been persuaded into taking in a fucking club toilet. Which he’d proceeded to shoot up in some abandoned fucking alleyway!

Jesus, what a mess. He was brought out of his ruminating by the clumsy footsteps of one Gavin Free returning.

Said Gavin Free was cautiously poking his head around the doorframe between the lounge room and the kitchen. He felt slightly guilty at the hesitance Gavin displayed, considering it normally took a lot to slow the Brit down.

‘Hey, Gavin.’ He forced a smile, gesturing for him to sit down. Not that he needed to; the Brit had flashed his own sunny grin as soon as he was greeted, and begun making his way towards Michael.

‘Feeling better?’ he asked as he sat down, but he avoided Michael’s eye.

‘Yeah, much. Sorry ‘bout that. I was just grumpy from being woken up and needed a good shower I guess.’ The smile he gave was much weaker this time, and did little in the way of convincing.

‘Right. You seemed a bit… wired.’ Gavin said, before jumping up onto the balls of his feet and opening the cupboards. ‘Jesus I’m starved, what have you got to feed a guy around here? I want bacon.’ He declared, and proceeded to open every cupboard as quickly as he could.

‘Christ Gavin, slow down! You’ve been here a million times you should know where everything is! And why the fuck are you looking in the cupboards for fucking bacon?’ Michael said, following Gavin to his feet and closing everything in the man’s wake.

‘Oh yeah. Fridge, right?’ Gavin wiggled his eyebrows cheekily before grinning at Michael, shoving past him to get to the fridge.

‘God damn it Gavin, sit your dumb ass down and I’ll make food.’ Michael grumbled, annoyed at being pushed aside.

‘But I wanna cook!’ Gavin whined.

‘No way, I’ve seen your cooking.’ Michael replied, replacing Gavin in his spot in front of the fridge.

‘Hey! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.’ Gavin defended.

‘Remember that time you decided to freeze the pudding because you got too tired of checking on it while it was baking?’ Michael quipped distractedly.

‘That was one time! It doesn’t mean I don’t know how to cook.’

‘And the time you left the foil on the pies and you nearly burnt down the kitchen?’

‘That was an honest mistake, how was I meant to know that-’

‘Or the time you microwaved a fucking watermelon?’

‘That was an experiment!’

The following ‘Riiiight, Gavino.’ was accompanied by a raised eyebrow. ‘I believe your argument was something along the lines of ‘’I thought if it was heated up I could get the juice out faster’’, am I wrong?’

His lack of response proved victory enough for Michael, and he muttered a fond ‘Idiot.’ before turning back to grab the remaining items from the fridge.

At Gavin’s indignant squawk Michael grinned, and dumped all the necessary foodstuffs for a bacon and egg breakfast on the counter.

‘Alright!’ he rubbed his hands together in a way that could only be described as gleefully, and clapped twice before getting started. ‘Okay so… crack open the eggs first, get the stupid little egg rings out… Oi Gavin, grab me the egg rings.’ Michael commanded.

‘I’m not your bleedin’ slave.’ Gavin muttered, but did as he was told.

‘Sorry what was that? I can’t hear you over the sound of me making you breakfast!’ Michael called back smugly.

‘I said- Oh don’t worry. Here’s your damn egg rings.’ Gavin grumbled, before plonking himself back down on the chair.

‘Oh and can you get me the frypan?’ asked Michael, who was focusing as he pulled the rind off the bacon.

‘You couldn’t have said that while I was still up?’ Gavin asked exasperatedly.

‘Second cupboard from the left, bottom shelf.’ Michael directed, ignoring Gavin’s complaints.

‘I know where your frypan is, Mi-cool.’

‘Sure didn’t seem that way when you opened every cupboard known to mankind in search for my fucking bacon earlier.’ Michael shot back.

Gavin grinned. This was the Michael he knew. He wasn’t sure what had come across him last night, but it had been weird. He knew what Michael was like drunk, and something had seemed off last night. Still, Gavin wasn’t really one to judge, because even though he’d been acting responsible he was still as drunk then as he had been earlier, with that girl, Natalie. Or Natasha. It was something along those lines.

He was well aware that Michael didn’t realise he’d still been smashed when he drove around looking for him, and that aside from his normal failure at driving (which was bad enough, bloody wrong side of the road America) he’d probably driven up the sidewalk twice. Just as well it was damn early in the morning, because if anyone had seen him he probably would have been behind bars like _that_. But as long as no-one, especially Michael, knew about it then no harm done.

However, true to Gavin’s luck, Michael seemed to pick that moment to realise exactly what Gavin had been hoping to avoid.  
‘Did you drive me home last night smashed off your head?’ Michael demanded. It was kind of a pointless question because he obviously knew the answer, but apparently decided to ask anyway.

‘What’s in your coat?’ Gavin shot back just as fast. Whatever reaction he was expecting he didn’t receive, because Michael’s eyes hooded and he backed off.

‘Fair enough.’ He said lightly.

‘That’s it? Fair enough?’ Gavin asked quietly. The joking atmosphere of the room drained, leaving only tension in its place.

‘Yes fair enough. Leave it, Gavin.’ Michael said, focusing on the bacon he was currently frying.

‘It’s just it’s gotta be important whatever it is, because like I said you’ve been all jumpy and moody and you were really protective this morning when you realised I’d taken it off you last night.’

‘Gavin…’ Michael warned.

‘And obviously it’s some big secret because you won’t tell me, right? And I’m-’

‘Gavin! Fucking drop it! It’s none of your damn business, and I don’t need you poking your huge nose into it!’ Michael yelled, slamming the tongs down onto the hotplate.

‘I’m your best friend!’ Gavin continued, yelling now too.

With a growl Michael started towards him. ‘Drop. It.’ He spat through clenched teeth, and Gavin shrunk back from the anger in his eyes. It wasn’t the first time he’d pissed the Jersey boy off, but it was the first time he’d seen such hatred directed towards him.

With a final glare he pushed harshly past Gavin, grabbing his keys from where they’d been hung diligently on the hook and stormed out the front door. After a moment, Gavin heard the car engine start, and a few more and the sound had faded away into the distance.

Gavin stared at the ground, unmoving from where he’d been shoved against the cupboard. The bacon spat oil and he could smell the eggs burning, and he felt his eyes prickle unexpectedly.

‘I’m meant to be your best friend.’ He said to no-one, and began cleaning up the mess.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The morning at the office was a tense one. Michael had refused to look at Gavin all day, apparently still pissed. Gavin didn’t know what was going on in the curly haired man’s head, but whatever it was probably wasn’t good.

He’d attempted to start a conversation several times and been shut down, so he’d given up on that front and settled with simply working in silence.

However, it was a let’s play day, and the lack of communication between the two was inevitably noticed.

Between Michael’s sullen silence and Gavin’s weak attempts at humour, the Achievement Hunter crew quickly came to conclusions that, like usual, Michael was probably pissed at Gavin over something. They also came to the conclusion that, unlike usual, it was serious enough to relatively affect their work.

Geoff had decided that while he didn’t care too much what the problem was, it was kind of his job to make sure that everything was running smoothly and at the very least, a salvageable let’s play video was produced.

Which, to put it bluntly, was not.

‘So what’s up with you assholes?’ he asked nonchalantly at lunchbreak, when Ryan and Jack had headed out. Ray was still in the room, but short of kicking him out for a private conversation that may not even be necessary, there wasn’t much Geoff could do.

Anyway, the asshole looked like he was actually working for once, and that wasn’t something Geoff wanted to interrupt.

‘What?’ Michael asked, tugging one earphone off so he could hear properly.

‘I said what’s up with you assholes?’ Geoff repeated.

‘I heard you. I don’t know why you think something’s up though.’ Michael replied irritably, not taking his eyes off his work. Gavin didn’t react.

‘Maybe because it’s tense as dicks in here? Look, I don’t really give a fuck about the problem because I assume that if it was serious enough, you’d drag your sorry asses in here and tell me about it. I do, however, give a fuck about the quality of the let’s plays. We’re probably going to have to reshoot that, and you know how much that sucks ass.’

Michael just glared at him.

‘Like I said, if it’s serious, come to talk to me. If not, sort your fucking problems out.’ Despite the seemingly harshness of his words, his tone was light, and he knew everyone would understand the sincerity behind it.

‘We all clear?’ he asked.

Michael just nodded.

‘Gavin?’ Geoff asked, turning to him.

‘Yep.’ Gavin gave a weak attempt at a smile. Geoff looked distinctly unimpressed.

‘Right. Well anyway, some of us actually have important stuff to be doing, unlike you dickknobs. So if you’ll excuse me, I have a lunch date with Taco Bell to attend.’ On this note he stood from his chair, taking a last glance around the room. Michael had put his headphones back on and turned back to his screen, Gavin was still looking at him, and Ray was still seemingly engrossed in his work.

_Probably eavesdropping, the little cocksucker. No-one pays that much attention to a buffering video._

However, he’d done what he could, so he made his way out, closing the door with more gentleness than normal. He was slightly worried about the pair, because Gavin really was like a son to him, and he hated that something had apparently come up between them.

Then again, he might just be imagining things, because no-one else had commented on it.

As soon as Geoff had made his exit, Ray had pulled his headphones off, swivelled around on his chair, and put his feet on Michael’s desk.

‘Sooo…’ he drew out.

When he knew he had their attention, he raised an eyebrow.

‘No seriously though, what’s up with you guys? Geoff raised a very valid point, it is tense as dicks in here. I’m either waiting for you to make out or kill each other.’ He delivered his joke with a grin, which faded slightly when he received no reaction.

‘Earth to dumbasses currently in the room with me.’ He said, waving his hands around. When he still received nothing but blank looks, he threw his hands up and took his feet off Michael’s desk.

‘Fine, fine, be like that. But when you eventually decide you need my Godly advice, X-Ray will be in the kitchen, making food.’ To emphasise his point he stood with a groan, stretching one arm up to crack his neck, rubbing his stomach with the other one. He glanced at the clock; _1:30, bit of a late lunch but whatever_ and made to leave when Gavin stood hurriedly, averting his eyes. ‘Yeah hang on a sec, I’ll come with. Was just finishing my video but it can wait till after lunch. Lemme just…’ he trailed off as he clicked a few more things before letting go of the mouse and turning to face Ray.

‘Let’s roll.’ Ray said, and gestured for him to go first. When Gavin went to open the door though, Ray shoved him into his desk and pushed past, exiting first.

‘Whoops! My mistake.’ He grinned. Upon hearing Gavin laugh and attempt to shove him back, Ray just grinned harder.

He stood blocking the door way, efficiently filling it enough so Gavin couldn’t sneak past.

‘Oh, sorry, did you want to come through? A warrior must fight for his prize.’ Ray said, lowering his voice and attempting to sound serious. He noticed the glance Gavin gave Michael at the word warrior, but ignored it.

‘What prize? Noodles in a cup? Call out the cavalry we can’t let that get away from us.’ Gavin replied sarcastically. He leaned backwards, sizing Ray up. He could take him.

‘Hey, don’t diss out on the noodles, they’re-’ Ray was cut off as Gavin charged at him, almost pushing him completely out of the door. Ray quickly used his momentum to spin Gavin in a complete 180, so that he stumbled backwards and nearly landed on Michael.

‘Watch it!’ Came the sharp reply from Michael, who had barely avoided getting landed on.

‘Why don’t you idiots fuck off somewhere else? I’m actually trying to do work here, not that I’m sure either of you know what that is.’

Gavin frowned, his good mood vanishing. ‘We’re just joking around, Michael.’ He said.

‘Well go joke around somewhere else. I’m not in the mood for your shit.’ Michael said.

Ray could see the slight hurt on Gavin’s face. It made him vaguely uncomfortable. The two men were his closest friends, absolutely. But that didn’t mean he’d ever actually been involved in emotional affairs with either of them.

Still, a friend was a friend, and he _really_ didn’t like the look on Gavin’s face. ‘Come on Vav, our precious award awaits us. You technically managed to get past me, so I’ll count that as a win for you.’

Gavin just nodded and got up off the floor, accepting the hand Ray offered. He brushed himself off as they made their way out the door, throwing a quick glance over his shoulder at Michael, who was pointedly ignoring him.

He sighed. When they arrived at the kitchen, he plopped himself on the bench and watched as Ray pulled noodles out of the cupboard.

‘So what’s up with him?’ came the inevitable question.

Gavin shrugged. ‘I wish I knew. I dunno, he’s just been grumpy since yesterday.’

‘Yesterday was Sunday though?’ Ray asked, pulling open the noodle packet.

‘Yeah?’ Gavin asked, confused.

‘You were hanging out on Sunday?’ Ray elaborated.

‘Oh. Yeah we were. We woulda invited you but we went out drinking Saturday night, and we both got incredibly smashed. We just ended up crashing at his. He was fine that night, if not a bit weird, but in the morning he just got kind of, I dunno, grumpy.’ Gavin replied, and reached over to flick the jug on.

‘Cheers. What do you mean weird? Like speaking gibberish weird, stupid ideas weird, coming onto you weird…’ Ray trailed off with a wink.

‘Nah, not any of that.’ The joke went ignored as Gavin started thinking. ‘Just like… he got really paranoid about his coat, of all things. And I came back after I left because I didn’t turn the light off, and I’m talking about like straight away, and he’d pretended to go to sleep but when I came back he was going through his coat pockets. And he looked really guilty when I asked, spouting some nonsense about putting it on, then said he was just looking for his phone, but it was on the coffee table, and then he got really annoyed and stormed off to take a shower. And then after that he was fine and joking around and my normal little Michael, but then I asked him about the coat and he got annoyed again. He ended up pissing off to I don’t know where, and I hadn’t heard from him until today.’ He said in one big breath.

‘Woah, slow down. So he got really protective of what was in his coat?’ Ray asked, pouring the boiling water into his cup.

‘Yeah. And like, he wasn’t just pissed. I know what Michael pissed is.’ He paused when Ray let out a small laugh. ‘Yeah, but he was more than pissed. I dunno, it was just… weird.’

‘Sounds it. Reckon he’ll just get over it? Maybe it’s his time of the month.’ Ray said, snickering.

Gavin laughed. ‘Yeah, maybe.’

‘So you didn’t find out what he was all pissy over?’

‘Nah.’ Came Gavin’s short reply.

‘You’re not curious?’ Ray asked innocently.

‘Of course I am, you bloody git. I’m not just gunna ask him though, he’d bite my bleeding head off!’

‘Who said anything about asking him?’ Ray asked, waggling his eyebrows.

‘Sod off.’

‘No, I’m serious. We could be like Sherlock and Watson, the great detectives. Or some lame shit like that.’

‘I don’t think Watson did the detective work, he just helped out.’

‘Perfect! I’d be Sherlock, you’d be Watson!’ Ray announced.

‘I thought we were X-Ray and Vav?’ Gavin asked, trying to keep a straight face.

‘Well yeah. Fine, we could go X-Ray and Vav on his ass, find out the cause of his troubles.’

‘“The cause of his troubles.” What are you, 80?’ Gavin snickered.

‘Hilarious. I’m serious, though. It sounds like he’s hiding something.’

‘Why are you so interested?’ At Ray’s indignant look, Gavin hurried to explain. ‘I’m not calling you creepy or anything, I mean I appreciate that you wanna help out, but it’s just… I don’t know, what if it’s personal?’

Ray nodded. ‘It probably is. Do we care?’

‘Not really.’

Ray nodded again. ‘Exactly. But until then, nothing we can do.’ He paused. ‘Except…’

Gavin looked at him curiously. Ray pulled out a fork with a flourish, brandishing it enthusiastically.

‘Except enjoy these delicious brand name noodles!’

Gavin snorted, before he realised something. ‘You didn’t even make me any, you pleb! I even turned the bloody jug on!’

‘You didn’t ask!’ Ray defended.

‘I didn’t need to! I followed you out here!’

‘I thought you just enjoyed my excellent company.’ Ray suggested, grinning.

‘Sod off.’ Gavin said again, and pulled out his own noodles.

‘You should really clarify these things. If you did, you could be enjoying these delicious noodles with me instead of complaining. Shout out to bad decisions, am I right?’ And with that Ray took Gavin’s seat on the counter, ignored the glares sent his way, and munched happily on his noodles.

\---

Back in the AH office, or more specifically, the Let’s Play room, Michael was fuming.

He knew that like most situations where he was angry in life, he probably shouldn’t be, but he couldn’t find it in him to care.

He knew he’d obviously upset Gavin, and Ray was just trying to make him feel better without delving into their affairs, but then why did it feel like they were teaming up on him?

Granted, they’d come back from lunch (if you could call it that, noodles in a cup – eugh) in much better moods, and Gavin was now squished between Michael and Ray in an attempt to backseat guide Ray in a racing game.

The fact that it was normally Michael and Gavin doing stupid shit like that together wasn’t lost on him. He barely suppressed a sigh of frustration when Gavin cheered, throwing an arm up and flailing it around dangerously close to his face.

‘Michael, look!’ he heard. When he glanced over though, the look on Gavin’s face suggested the shout had just been out of habit, because he looked taken aback. Despite the fact that he kind of wanted to be included, Michael didn’t want to let on that he knew he’d been a total jerk.

So, true to stubborn Michael Jones way, he narrowed his eyes, huffed out an annoyed sigh and turned back to his screen without a word.

He felt rather than saw Gavin turn away from him dejectedly, and he knew the comforting hand on Gav’s shoulder would be Ray’s.

_This isn’t the first time I’ve upset him,_ he thought, _so why is everyone babying him?_

_Why doesn’t anyone take care of me?_ He wondered.

_Because if they tried you’d bite their head off._ His mind supplied helpfully.

_Sod off._

_Sod off? Jesus now you sound like him. Could you be any more infatuated?_

He let out a warning growl and shook his head rapidly, his glasses barely staying on his face. He saw Gavin’s nervousness and Ray’s look of confusion, and he cut them off before either of them could say anything.

‘I’m going to go home early today. Tell Geoff I was feeling sick,’ he glanced at the clock, ‘if he ever fucking gets back.’

There was a pause. ‘Alright?’ he snapped when neither of them replied.

Gavin nodded mutely, and Ray just gave him a questioning look, which Michael ignored in favour of getting the fuck out of there. When his mission was accomplished and he was securely inside his car, he was still for a moment, before his anger got the better of him.

‘Fuck!’ he yelled, and slammed his hands on the dashboard.

He slammed his hands twice more before he stopped, taking deep breaths. His hands hurt now too, which only added to his fury.

He breathed through his nose and grabbed the gearstick, starting the car and driving away. Unbeknownst to him, he was being watched through the lower window of the Achievement Hunter office by a certain British young man.

Gavin’s face twisted in concern before he turned around to face Ray, who had followed him when he, in turn, had followed Michael.

‘Gavin…’ Ray started.

‘No. This is a stupid idea. He’s gunna see us and he’ll get really pissed off.’

‘He might. We don’t know.’ Ray shrugged. Gavin opened his mouth. ‘But you know you want to know what’s up with him.’ Ray continued, cutting him off.

Gavin snorted. ‘Of course I do. Don’t you think it’s just a bit weird to follow him home when he’s obviously trying to avoid us? Not to mention that we’d actually be kind of stalking him, right?’

‘Don’t act like you’ve never done it before.’ Ray said.

Gavin just looked at him. ‘Hey! Relax, I’m just joking.’ Ray mumbled.

‘I know. I just… I’m worried about him.’ Gavin scrubbed a hand down his face.

‘I know, and that’s why I’m suggesting it. To be honest, I don’t see entirely why this time is so different to all the other times he’s been pissed off. But I know you, and you seem weird about it. Ergo, something’s changed. Ergo, that shitty old saying… Drastic times call for drastic measures?’ Ray said, face scrunching up as he tried to recall the saying.

‘Drastic times…’ Gavin scoffed. ‘Nah, you’re right. It’s not that different from other times, except that he went home early, and he hasn’t really done that before.’

Ray nodded.

‘I guess I’m just curious as well, about the coat, and why he’s so protective. It’s so un-Michael. If he’s annoyed about something he’d yell about it, maybe punch a few things, but he’d make damn well sure everybody within a 10 mile radius knew that he had a problem. But this is what’s different I guess. He’s going out of his way to avoid telling us.’ Gavin said with a sigh.

Ray looked at him, slightly uncomfortable. He wasn’t used to seeing Gavin looking defeated. It was unusual for anything to slow the Brit down. He wasn’t infallible, of course, and everyone in the office had seen him on a bad day once or twice.

He’d come in looking not much different than normal bar heavy bags under his eyes, but he’d quickly grow progressively worse. He’d freeze up at any minor provocation, hunch in towards himself. He wouldn’t say a word all day, avoiding any questions, until eventually something or other, regardless of how minor, made him blow up.

It was horrible to see coming from the happy go lucky, keep on coming Brit, and it was something they all tried to avoid.

However, today didn’t look like a Black Day (a name the crew had come up with during their few discussions on the subject), so Ray was unsure of what to do. He knew, essentially, that   
a. He needed to find out what was wrong with Michael.  
b. He needed to cheer Gavin back up.  
c. The only way he could think of to achieve both these goals was to find out the source of the problem and eliminate it.

It was like basic Science. Not that Ray was ever that good at Science, but he knew it was probably similar to the situation.

He cleared his throat. ‘Well, the way I see it…’ he began, and explained his reasoning to Gavin. Gavin smiled briefly when Ray mentioned that he wanted to cheer him up.

‘Thanks, X-Ray.’

‘So, you comprende?’ Ray asked, cocking an eyebrow.

‘I guess. So our plan is to go in there and find out what was in his coat, or essentially, what’s bugging him?’ Gavin recounted.

‘Well when you put it like that… maybe we should just agree to not have a plan. It’s not like were breaking into his house or anything. We’re just trying to figure out what’s wrong.’ Ray replied.

‘I suppose. But really? We’re just gunna walk on in there and ask him what’s wrong?’ Gavin asked doubtfully.

‘I’m not hearing you come up with any better ideas!’ Ray defended.

‘Because this plan is stupid!’ Gavin cried.

‘You’re stupid!’ Ray replied, with all the maturity in the world.

‘Not as stupid as this plan!’

‘We agreed it wasn’t a plan!’

‘Whatever.’ Gavin rolled his eyes.

‘Stop being such a buzz kill. What happened to X-Ray and Vav? Sherlock and Watson? Where’s the enthusiasm you had earlier?’ Ray punched him lightly in the arm.

‘Dead and buried.’ Gavin smiled despite his words.

‘Like your chance at getting a girlfriend?’ Ray grinned.

Gavin spluttered, before saying ‘Fine. But if he tries to eat me, you better jump in and save me.’ 

Ray looked indignant. ‘Of course I would! X-Ray and Vav, dude! Do you not trust me at all?’ he clutched his heart dramatically.

‘Not in the slightest.’ Gavin chuckled.

‘O’ ye of little faith.’ Ray said, still clutching at his chest. He straightened up. ‘Besides, we all know if he wanted to eat you, I’m sure you’d have no problem with it.’

Gavin choked on his spit. ‘I’m not sure I’d want him to literally _eat_ me, Ray!’

Ray cracked up, and Gavin quickly followed suit.

When they both regained their composure and wiped the remaining tears of mirth from their eyes, Ray looked at Gavin and Gavin at Ray.

‘So, X-Ray and Vav?’ Ray offered his hand.

‘X-Ray and Vav.’ Gavin confirmed, taking his hand and shaking it.

‘Sweet. I thought I’d lost my trusty sidekick for a while there.’ Ray said, and opened the door.

‘I’m not your sidekick, you donut! If anyone is anyone’s sidekick, you’re obviously mine.’ Gavin replied, following Ray outside.

‘Gavin. Buddy.’ Ray stopped and twirled, placing both his hands on Gavin’s shoulders in an attempt to look serious. ‘In our entire friendship, what on Earth would even _begin_ to make you think I’d be your sidekick?’

‘Well- I’m taller.’ Gavin nodded to himself.

‘You- What? How does- What?’ Ray tripped over his own words.

‘Hah! I out smarted you.’ Gavin said, and started walking again.

‘Because I expected something at least vaguely intelligible in response!’

‘You should know better than that, Ray. That’s why I’m the main man and you’re the sidekick.’ Gavin replied smugly.

‘No, no no no, that is not how it works. Don’t make me go Puerto Rican on your ass. I’ll do it! I ain’t afraid!’ Ray said, and did something that was supposed to look like Kung Fu, but ended up resembling some sort of epileptic fit.

Gavin laughed out loud. ‘Yeah sure, if you want to kill me with hysterics. You look like someone who just ran into an electric fence.’

‘It’s the ancient art of intimidation!’

And so they continued, bickering like children, as they walked to Michaels house.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also vaguely unhappy with the beginning of this chapter but you know, what can you do. So I'll stick this up today and upload the next tomorrow hopefully. 
> 
> Read & review, yo

While the two bickering idiots were currently on their way to his house, Michael was sitting obliviously on his bed, hands in his lap, staring into nothing.

The thoughts racing through his head were not happy ones, and he felt overwhelmed. He was a naturally emotional person, which he displayed regularly through his fits of anger.

But he rarely got one emotion without the others. The sadness, disappointment and frustration were all channelled through his anger, and the lighter emotions were exhibited naturally (if not a bit less than the others – he did, after all, have a reputation to maintain).

However, at the current time, the emotions swirling through his head refused to be channelled out. No matter how much he raged, spat, kicked or hit they remained stubbornly there, and he remained helpless to the storm of emotions taking him over.

He’d barely been sitting for a minute before he was up and pacing around, agitation rolling off him in waves.

This was ridiculous. He’d been on an emotional rollercoaster ever since the club night (Michael refusing to refer to it as anything else) and, despite how obvious it might have been, he wasn’t sure why.

He was well aware that drugs were bad for you. He didn’t live under a rock his whole life, fuck you very much. He was also aware that heroin was dubbed ‘the worst of the worst’, and after some research on effects and appearances and whatnot he had decided what he’d been given was, in fact, heroin.

Since he’d established this he hadn’t done any more research. He didn’t put any thought into as to why, that maybe he wanted to remain ignorant because Ignorance is Bliss. That maybe if he didn’t learn exactly _why_ heroin was so bad, if he didn’t learn that it slowly reconstructed your mind under its influence until you became so dependant you could barely function without it, he could ignore it.

No. He didn’t think about any of that. Instead, his mind remained stubbornly focused on the fact that it was only a few metres away, still stashed behind the shaving cream in his bathroom cabinet. He hadn’t got around to ditching it yesterday, since he’d only arrived home to his empty house well past eleven after roaming the streets for longer than strictly necessary. He hadn’t felt like any company, friend or stranger, so he’d simply parked at a park and wandered around, trying to clear his head. It had proved more successful than last time, and he’d returned home to a clean kitchen inside an empty house.

He’d shrugged, pretended he wasn’t bothered, and gone straight to bed after setting his alarm to wake him up early next morning.

Now, he was beginning to wish he had thrown them out last night, so he wasn’t so damn tempted.  
Perhaps if he was a bit more level-headed, more of a think before you act kind of guy, he could have sat down and thought about exactly why he wanted it.

But Michael Jones was anything but level-headed. So instead of sitting himself down and having a long hard think about it, he stomped in frustration to the bathroom, slid open the cabinet, and yanked the items out. For a few long moments he simply stared at them before he placed it on the counter as gently as he could with his current emotions, and ran both hands through his hair.

He could practically hear his old anger management coach talking in a calm voice, telling him to _take deep breaths, that’s it, in through the nose and out through the mouth, there we go_ and he could clearly remember his eloquent reply of _You won’t have a nose to breathe in through in a second if you don’t shut the fuck up_.

He grimaced. He’d always been difficult.

Why should now be any different? What’s one more problem to add to the list of an already fucked up guy?

Mind made up in possibly the worst decision of his life, he lifted the needles to examine them properly. They were small and thin, and that was about all he could deduce. One was filled up with the clear liquid, the other 3 quarters.

He still had that small baggie too, but that only contained a tiny bit of powder. _Probably enough for a hit_ his mind decided and he shoved it behind a packet in his cabinet. 

Woah, woah, woah. Why was he thinking like this? He was just going to take one more, and then throw the fucking things out.

The concept of exactly _what_ he was saying struck him, and he laughed. It echoed loudly in the small bathroom, and he winced.

Still, holy fuck. He knew exactly what he sounded like.

He sounded like probably every junkie ever, with their ‘just one more hit and I’m done’ plan. Jesus. He can’t believe he actually thought that.

If he was going to do this, he should at least have the dignity to admit to himself what exactly was going on.

He was about to inject a small hit of Heroin, its exact measurements and purity completely unknown to him. This would be the second time, and if he wasn’t addicted already, he knew he probably would be after this. He would have a needle and a half left after this, as well as some powder in a small bag hidden behind the spare razors in his cabinet.

 _There._ He decided.

At least he was honest with himself.

He snorted. It didn’t make the facts any better. He picked up the extra needle and stashed it with the bag, and he slid the door shut. He took a few deep breaths (he was doing that a lot lately, and it didn’t do jack shit) and examined his arm closely, eyebrows drawing together.

The light was pretty decent and his veins showed up clearly. The small pinprick from the club night was still in the crook of his elbow, and he wasn’t sure if he was meant to do it in the same place or find a different one.

It seemed kind of stupid to try and get the same place twice, so he figured he’d aim up just a bit from where it was originally, and go from there.

He nodded, and held it above where he was going to put it.

His curls fell in front of his eyes and he absentmindedly flicked his head, getting them out of his view. Mid flick, he caught his own eye in the reflection, and he paused.

Familiar brown eyes stared back at him from under his curls, Achievement Hunter beanie holding them down. He swallowed and looked away.

He sucked in a breath and held the needle above roughly where it would go in, and pushed it through his skin. It slid through relatively easily, but he still felt slightly nauseous. He didn’t have alcohol to dull the sensation this time.

He pulled the plunger back, and felt a stab of disappointment (and slight fear) when no red liquid seeped into the clear.

‘Fuck!’ he swore, and gently pulled the needle out. He swore again when he watched it slide out from his skin, and tried to quell the nausea building in his throat.

What had happened? Had he gone too far? Not far enough? He had no idea what he was doing. He realised just how lucky he’d been that first night. Despite the fact he’d been blind drunk and pissed off, he had managed to get it first try.

‘Total bullshit.’ He muttered to himself as he lifted the needle, mentally preparing himself once more.

He aimed higher above his previous attempt and tried again. He was met with more resistance this time, and his lip curled as he actually applied a small amount of force to make it go through his outer layers.

Eventually, it slid in, and every few millimetres he’d pull the plunger back a tiny bit to see if he’d hit. About the 3rd or 4th time he pulled the plunger back a tiny amount of blood was drawn up, and he pulled back a tiny bit more to make double sure.

Success.

He licked his lips and, trying to ignore exactly what he was doing, pushed the plunger in about another quarter of the way. He waited a few moments, unsure of exactly how long it would take. 10 seconds passed. 15.

Maybe he’d jarred the needle and missed? But it had all gone in, that couldn’t be the case. He was relatively sure nothing besides veins would accept liquid being pumped into them.

He’d thought it had only taken a few seconds last time, but like he’d thought he had been very drunk. Therefore, he didn’t think it counted. Drunks were generally not very reliable.

Might as well do something while he waited, he supposed. He looked away and extracted the needle from his skin, unceremoniously dumped it with the other, and drew the cabinet shut once more.

That fucking cabinet had gotten more love in the past 3 days than it had any other time Michael had been living here. He stared at his reflection once more.

He could kind of feel it coming, this time. He didn’t look away from himself as he felt it hit, and felt himself get lifted higher, watching his worries melt away. He could almost imagine the feeling washing over his face as something palpable, like a nice cool glass of water that felt perfect against his hot skin.

He lifted his arm, watched distantly as it jerkily obeyed his commands. He wasn’t sure when his limbs had gotten quite that heavy but it was a contrast to the weightlessness he felt in his own mind. 

That’s right. He was in a whole new body. He had to relearn, and regain control over his improved self. He smiled toothily in the mirror, and watched closely as he ran his fingers gently over the freckles splayed across his face.

It was almost a caress, and it felt heavenly. He ran the tips of his fingers over the gums showing when he smiled so widely, and jerked back when it tickled.

He frowned, irritation spilling through. He didn’t say his body could jerk. He moved his head forward again and when it obeyed his commands, the irritation melted away.

He smiled once more, and dragged his eyes away from his reflection. The light above the mirror suddenly seemed so loud, and it attracted his attention unwillingly. He gazed at it for a few moments (minutes) before realising he was just standing there.

He pulled open the door to his bathroom and reached up to turn the light off before exiting, arm following his eyes slowly. He hesitated for a moment before deciding on a course of action, and headed for his room.

He was halfway down the hallway, admiring the pattern of the walls, when he was interrupted by a loud knocking at the door.

Anger flashed through him for a quick second, but was quickly replaced by the tingling in his whole body. He changed course and headed for the front door, noting with wonder how it was doing that movie trick, appearing close but getting further and further away the closer he got.

Despite what he thought though, he was approaching the door with normal speed, so when his hand clasped around the knob to open it, cool against his hot skin, he was bewildered.

His bewilderment was apparently evident on his face because when he pulled the door open to see Gavin and Ray standing there, Ray simply raised an eyebrow. ‘Don’t look so surprised, you should have known we’d follow you here.’

Gavin nudged him. ‘You made it sound so creepy.’ He shuddered, before turning back to Michael, who was still standing there looking at the doorknob in his hands.

‘Um… can we come in?’ he asked.

Ray just shoved past and entered the house. Gavin shrugged and followed.

Michael realised he was being rude. ‘Hi.’ He greeted, and closed the door, his fascination with the doorknob forgotten.

Gavin blinked at him. ‘Hey…’ he said, confused.

‘Hello.’ Ray said brightly, but gave him a weird look.

Michael giggled. Gavin and Ray shared a look. ‘Wanna let us in on the joke there?’ Ray said.

‘I’m high, you’re hey, and he’s hello.’ He got out between giggles. ‘High, hey, hello?’ he repeated, when nobody seemed to understand the joke.

‘What, they’re all different?’ Ray asked, confused. He spared another look at Gavin, who looked just as confused as he did.

‘Never mind.’ Michael murmured thoughtfully, looking at Gavin.

Gavin squirmed uncomfortably under the scrutinous gaze, and looked to Ray for help. Ray just shrugged.

‘I know I’m gorgeous Michael, and your attention is flattering, but um…’ Gavin trailed off when Michael reached out and touched his face gently. Gavin didn’t know, but Michael was following the same pattern he’d traced on his own face earlier.

‘Don’t touch what you can’t afford.’ He joked weakly, but still looked uncomfortable. Michael seemed surprised and backed off a step, before he laughed.

‘Sorry. You had a thing…’ he trailed off too, and turned to face Ray.

‘So, what brings you wayward adventurers here?’ he asked brightly. He smiled in an attempt to appear welcoming, but it just came across as eerie.

‘Well you’re- um, you were upset earlier, and we decided to come see what was up. That’s what friends are for, and all that shit.’ Ray said.

Michael nodded. He had been angry earlier, but he wasn’t exactly feeling murderous now. But, he knew it would be rather suspicious if he was suddenly happy for no apparent reason.

‘I’m still upset.’ He said. However, he was still smiling widely, and it rather ruined the effect.

‘Michael?’ Gavin managed, bewildered beyond belief.

Michael realised his mistake and attempted to school his features. He discovered he couldn’t seem to remove the smile glued to his face, so he tried to play along.

‘We're all good, you're forgiven.’ He said good-naturedly.

‘Wh- What’s forgiven?’ Gavin asked.

‘You.’ Michael said, gazing at him.

‘What’d I do?’ Gavin yelped.

It was apparent Michael wasn’t going to give him an answer though. He sighed.

‘Aaalllright. This is all very confusing and well and good, but Gavin, I believe we had a purpose here?’ Ray stressed the last part of the sentence.

Gavin visibly jumped and looked guiltily at Michael. Ray cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows at him, and tilted his head in the direction of Michael’s bedroom. Michael was still looking at Gavin, and didn’t seem like he’d look away any time soon.

‘Um.’ Gavin squeaked. He cleared this throat before trying again. ‘Ahem. I’m um, gunna go piss. I’ll just… yeah…’ he said unconvincingly, while backing out of the room. Ray palmed his forehead in frustration. The boy really couldn’t act to save his life. Luckily Michael was oblivious, still in this weird state Gavin had been talking about previously. Speaking of…

‘So, y’know, are you drunk?’ Ray asked Michael casually, who was staring at the spot Gavin had just vacated.

‘What?’  Michael’s eloquent reply came.

‘I said ‘So, y’know, are you drunk?’’ Ray repeated, using the exact same tone and phrasing he’d had with the original delivery.

‘Oh. Yeah, actually.’ He paused. That didn’t sound very convincing. ‘I was angry so I came home and pulled out the booze.’ He continued.

‘Makes sense. You were acting really weird.’ Ray said, and glanced at the door. He wondered if Gavin had found anything yet, even thought it had literally only been a few seconds.

‘Yeah, I’m sorry. I was just taken by surprise I suppose.’ Michael smiled. Ray noticed he hadn’t moved an inch from where he’d originally stood. It was kind of disconcerting.

‘That’s fine. I guess you wouldn’t expect us to just turn up at your house after an exit like that.’ Ray said.

‘Mmm.’ Michael agreed. Ray was distracted by Gavin popping his head out of Michael’s door and making frantic shrugging gestures, waving his hands everywhere in confusion.

‘Keep looking’ Ray mouthed at him, and Gavin disappeared back through the doorframe.

Ray glanced at Michael and noticed he was staring at him, confusion written on his face. That was odd, Ray noted. Michael was normally harder to read. He _was_ drunk though, so Ray passed it off.

‘Uh, I had something in my mouth, like a weird taste. I was just getting it out.’ To emphasise his point he mouthed some more fake words and flopped his tongue around in his mouth.  ‘All gone.’ he smiled.

Michael just looked at him oddly before sighing quietly. He really just wanted to lie down in his bed and draw patterns in the air with his hands. It was an odd desire to occur but when he thought about it, it really sounded like fun.

Why were they here, anyway? And hadn’t Gavin been gone for an awfully long time?

‘Where’s Gavin?’ he broke the silence.

Ray startled. ‘Where’s Gavin?’ he repeated nervously. ‘Um… Gavin is just _in the bathroom!_ ’ he said, almost shouting the last part.

‘Tone it down.’ Michael grumbled. He just wanted to relax without them somewhere in his house, at risk of discovering anything they shouldn’t. Stupid snooping friends and their stupid caring.

They could always just leave him alone to be happy. He didn’t need their help.

As he thought the words, though, they sent a pang of sadness through him. He didn’t really want them to leave. He didn’t want to be here by himself.

Gavin returned, a pink flush tinging his cheeks, his mouth open. He looked nervous.

‘Long enough piss?’ Michael murmured, to fill the awkward silence. Gavin looked relieved.

‘So Michael here is drunk.’ Ray told him, and Gavin looked surprised.

‘No he’s not.’ This slipped out through his teeth before he could stop himself.

Ray looked confused. ‘Yes he is, he told me so.’

‘Oh, well it’s just- I’ve seen him drunk heaps, and he’s acting real different.’ Gavin frowned. ‘Like how… like that thing we were talking about earlier.’ His attempt at subtlety earned him a rolling of the eyes in exasperation courtesy of Ray, but thankfully went right over the head of Michael.

‘I kind of know what you mean.’ Ray replied thoughtfully, and turned his gaze to Michael.

‘Still right here.’ Michael announced, and gave a small wave of the hand. How long had they been here? How long until his hit wore off? To be honest he wasn’t feeling the same rush he’d first encountered. Instead he was just floating mildly. He could feel the occasional stabs of annoyance and desperation, and he was terrified his walls were wearing thin.

Should he top off? Was that dangerous? It was, and he knew it. But he really didn’t want to come back just yet. The thought of being swept back into the hurricane of emotions he’d been caught in earlier made him cringe.

Gavin caught the motion and moved towards him in concern. ‘You okay, Michael?’ he asked gently.

Michael paused. He wanted nothing more than to just let Gavin hold him, and be damned with the consequences. He was in an overly affectionate mood, the desperation for another hit only strengthening that instead of quelling it like he’d thought.

He honestly couldn’t see anything wrong with it, so he wrapped his heavy arms tightly around Gavin, who stiffened in surprise before slowly returning the hug.

He twisted around to look at Ray, who gave him a similarly confused look.

‘What do I do?’ he mouthed to Ray, who shrugged at him again.

He rolled his eyes before leaning in close to Michael. ‘Hey, is everything okay?’ he asked quietly.

Michael just breathed out heavily. Gavin looked to Ray once more in desperation.

Ray, who’d decided he’d had enough of the situation, made a face at Gavin and moved to the door.

‘Well I guess I’ll be off.’ He announced, and opened the door. He stopped halfway through the door, pulled out his phone and waved it at Gavin in an ‘if you need me message me’ gesture, and exited.

Leaving Gavin in the middle of the room with Michael in his arms. An awkward situation if he’d encountered one. He shifted uncomfortably, and glanced at the time. Almost 3pm.

‘Hey, Michael? Ray’s gone.’ He said, and immediately felt stupid. _Way to state the obvious_ he chastised himself. Then again, he was renowned for that, so he shrugged it off and returned his attention to Michael, still clinging onto him. Michael, acting so unlike himself it left Gavin floundering.

Michael, who had suddenly begun to shiver.

Gavin blinked, before pulling away to look Michael in the eye. ‘Woah, you okay?’ he asked again. Michael refused to meet his eye, so Gavin reached out and gently tipped his chin up to look him in the eye. The intimacy of the gesture wasn’t lost on him, and he stifled a giggle.

‘This is probably the gayest thing I’ve ever done.’ He laughed quietly. His face dropped when Michael just went to move back into the embrace.

‘Woah, okay hold on. I’m all fine for hugging, but since when were you? What’s up?’ he asked. Instead of pulling Michael back into his arms, he grabbed his wrist and led him to the couch. He leaned back, balancing himself on Michael, and kicked out with one foot to knock the cushions off, before dragging Michael down and sitting next to him.

‘Okay. I’m not good with pep talks.’ He shrugged. ‘So, um, talk.’

Michael just groaned and sunk into the couch. He was positive his high was wearing off. He was feeling slightly more unstable, mostly due to the fact he was so paranoid he didn’t take enough. He didn’t know this, though, instead assuming he must be coming down and scaring himself with the implications.

Not yet. He wasn’t ready. He had no idea how much time had passed, but he knew it wasn’t enough. Surely it couldn’t be wearing off just yet?

He gnawed his lip in frustration. He didn’t know what to do. Michael was brought out of his thoughts when Gavin spoke up.

‘Can I do anything for you?’ Gavin asked. At Michael’s weak laugh he hurried on ‘I mean like water or something.’ But he grinned, because Michael being immature was a Michael he loved.

‘Yeah.’ Michael croaked. ‘And some Tylenol.’ He added as Gavin got up.

‘What am I, your slave?’ Gavin asked rhetorically, and he headed to the kitchen.

‘You offered!’ Michael called gently after him, and he flopped back down into the couch. God it was nice to just stay still. He wondered if he should risk another hit. He was coherent enough to realise that was probably a bad idea, as much as he wanted it.

Considering he could get away from Gavin long enough to shoot up, that didn’t account for the fact he had _no fucking clue_ about dosages or tolerances or how much he could handle. He was lucky he wasn’t dead yet, or something.

It pained him to do it, but he decided he wouldn’t have any more tonight.

 _First thing tomorrow, if you still need it._ He decided, and felt a small rush of anticipation at his next high. He could get through tonight. It wouldn’t even be that difficult.

His internal pep talk was failing dismally until Gavin’s return, brandishing a glass of cold water and two Tylenol like they were gifts from God. Which, to Michael they could have passed for.

‘Sorry I was gone forever. I had to look around for the Tylenol. Found ‘em in the bathroom cupboard.’ At Gavin’s words Michael froze, and turned to look at him.

He looked straight at Gavin, for the first time in a while. Gavin’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. Something looked kind of off about Michael. As he considered this, Michael searched his face for any sign of anything suspicious. Content with his findings, he relaxed once more.

‘Can you get the lights?’ he murmured.

‘Okay.’ Gavin shrugged.

‘And close the blinds, light fuckin' hurts.’ Michael said.

Gavin looked at him strangely.  ‘Okay.’ He said again. He did as instructed and scanned the room. It was almost pitch black now. Michael looked content, but Gavin felt uncomfortable with it.

‘Can we have the telly on?’ he blurted. Michael gestured in an ‘I don’t bloody care’ way, so Gavin dug around for the remote before flicking it on and turning the volume on low.

He looked around, unsure, then gathered his confidence and sat back down next to Michael, close enough so their knees touched. _It was how they were sitting before,_ Gavin defended to himself. He looked at Michael, who’d leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes.

Michael’s head was still full of the euphoric haze, but he wanted to be absolutely sure that nothing could penetrate it. He was feeling much more secure, floating away safely in his mind, and he could feel himself relaxing in Gavin’s company. Gavin would take care of him.

The rush of affection that swelled in him made him might have been a _bit_ more than strictly necessary for just friends. He groaned and reached out blindly for the Tylenol. Gavin seemed to understand what he wanted and quickly complied.

‘Maybe you’re getting sick, my little Michael.’ He cooed, and laughed when Michael frowned at him, eyes still closed.

‘Shuddup.’ He murmured, and downed the Tylenol, the water quickly following suit.

‘It’s like you’re nursing a hangover already. It’s weird.’ Gavin said.

‘Hmm.’ Michael replied noncommittally and tried to position himself so he was comfortable.

After several failed attempts he felt frustration penetrate the comfort of his head. He gazed at the ceiling for a few short seconds and felt it fade quickly. Gavin reached behind him to reposition the pillows so he could lie comfortably against them and when he was satisfied, he leaned up and tugged Michael down so that he was lying partly on top of Gavin, his head resting on Gavin’s chest.

There were a few moments of silence before Gavin said ‘You know what? I take it back. This is now definitely the gayest thing I’ve ever done.’

When he heard a snort of amusement from Michael he grinned. ‘Now go to sleep.’

‘Hmph.’ Michael grumbled, but settled so he was comfortable on Gavin’s chest.

Gavin didn’t reply, content to just watch the lines smooth out of Michael’s forehead as he appeared to fall asleep.

Eventually Gavin felt his own eyes slipping closed, stopping his pondering of the recent events when he finally slid into sleep.

 

 -

Two blocks away and still moving gracefully along, Ray Narvaez Jr was doing his own pondering of recent events.

See, although he wasn’t one to drink himself, he’d attended many a party hosted by the Rooster Teeth staff and had been out clubbing plenty of times with his friends.

Now while he’d never intentionally blackmail them, he’d mentally recorded and catalogued all the stupid and idiotic things his friends had done while he was with them so he could insult them incessantly later and generally never let them live it down.

This Cataloguing of Idiotic Things had led to him having an extensive, unaffected knowledge of how the majority of his closest friends acted while drunk.

Ray knew Gavin got even more energetic and uncontrollable, and he tended to challenge people to shot competitions even though he couldn’t hold his liquor for shit. He had no brain to mouth filter, was incredibly clumsy and he was prone to immensely idiotic ideas. All in all he didn’t change much from everyday Gavin, except his ideas were stupider and he was more unintelligible.

Ray knew Geoff got less emotional and more relaxed than even he normally was and tended to ponder the small things frequently. He could drink anyone under the table although he liked to kick back with his drinks instead of downing them all at once, and would go along with almost any immensely idiotic idea Gavin came up with.

Ray knew admittedly less about Jack and Ryan’s drunken ways, but he knew enough that he could tell you Jack Daniel’s was Jack Pattillo’s drink of choice, he developed an obnoxious laugh when he was drunk and Ryan would always, without fail, drunkenly call his wife to re-declare his love for her. It was entertaining to watch, and simply _endearing._ Ray shuddered.

So it was safe to say Ray knew a lot about his co-workers drunken shenanigans, and that did not exclude Michael.

Ray knew Michael relaxed more, lost the sharp edges to his words in favour of meaningful touches. He could hold his liquor second only to Geoff and normally maintained a sense of intelligence which came in useful when talking Gavin out of his dangerously stupid ideas, regardless of how many competitions he got in with him over who could down the most shots. He loosened up a bit but remained sensible in most situations.

Ray knew this. Ray also knew the way Michael had acted before, and the way Gavin had described him the other night, was not what he’d catalogued as drunken Michael.

So what was it?

It was possible, of course, that he was overthinking the whole situation. But Ray was generally level-headed, regardless of how he might come across, and he’d learned over the years to trust his gut instincts. And based on his gut instinct mixed with an outsiders opinion (if you could count Gavin’s opinion reliable), he figured he had reasonable grounds to base an argument.

Nodding to himself, he glanced down the street he was about to cross and chewed his lip thoughtfully.

He’d left Gavin alone with Michael so Ray could clear his head and think it through, but now he found himself wondering if that was such a good idea. He felt slightly guilty about leaving the Brit to deal with him, but he considered it payback for Gavin almost backing out of the fool proof plan earlier. 

He shrugged. What’s done was done.

Arriving at his apartment, he jogged the last few steps to his door and shoved the key in the lock, twisting it opened with a practiced hand and stepping inside. He shrugged his jacket off and kicked the door shut behind him before he headed for the fridge.

So much exercise, so little food. It was practically criminal. As he rummaged around for something to eat (when did his fridge get so damn empty?) he decided on throwing together a slapdash sandwich, and he promptly put his plan into action.

As he went through the familiar actions his mind turned back to earlier.

Something really had seemed off with Michael. He hadn’t seemed drunk at all, more… dreamy, spaced out. He’d had an entirely all-too-creepy grin on his face, and hadn’t seemed to take in anything. Ray shifted, uncomfortable. It had seemed vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t place it.

He took a seat at his counter, running a hand through his hair with one hand and picking his sandwich up with the other. He thought as he ate, trying to place the way Michael had acted with another memory that danced just out of reach.

 

 -

Back at his house, Michael couldn’t sleep. 

Admittedly he’d probably snatched a few hours just before, but since he’d woken up to an ache spreading throughout his body he hadn’t been able to doze off again.

When he lifted his head his head throbbed its disagreement and he frowned. When this only served to pull his aching muscles more he hissed, and gently lowered his head back down. The blissful, euphoric haze of earlier was definitely gone this time, but at least the hurricane of emotion hadn’t returned.

Thankful for that he attempted once more to pull himself into a sitting position, this time succeeding. He looked down at Gavin still snoring away innocently next to him, and took a deep breath. He felt his forehead crinkle in irritation and a slight burning sensation emanated from the spot. Worry shot through him, causing his hands to shake.

With one last look at Gavin he stood, grabbing the edge of the couch to counter the way his body nearly buckled under him. After he made his way to the bathroom he pulled the door shut behind him and locked it, a mild wince being the only thing to give away how it echoed painfully in his ears.

He stumbled to the sink and leaned against it, his knuckles turning white at how hard he gripped it. When he glanced up and saw his reflection, the connection between this moment and the other, when he’d originally accepted the drugs, was not lost on him. He was half-surprised not to encounter the grinning man with the disgusting teeth behind him.

The bathroom light seemed incredibly bright, and the ticking of the clock on the wall _6 o’clock_ left him half blind and nursing a pounding headache. He was in a lot of pain, and his mind was barely working enough to process why.

When the realization did hit him, however, he wasn’t upset or hesitant. Instead he opened the bathroom cabinet and pulled the first needle out with sure hands, observing the liquid poison inside. He’d lifted it up and was examining his arm when he was interrupted by a loud knocking at the door.

He snarled harshly and threw the needle back inside before he slammed the cabinet shut and made his way to the bathroom door. He unlocked it with trembling hands and wrenched it open, mind set on tearing this asshole who had dared to destroy any semblance of peace he’d found and dared to interrupt him apart.

As he swung it open, however, he came face to face with a surprised Gavin. They stood there for a few moments, blinking at each other, before Gavin opened his mouth to speak.

‘I heard you were awake, just wanted to see how you were feeling.’ Gavin said.

‘I’m awake, I feel fine.’ Michael replied, leaning in the doorway.

‘Okay well that’s cool. You seem, you know, uptight.’ The Brit seemed hesitant.

‘Headache.’ Michael replied briefly.

‘Oh.’ Came Gavin’s reply. They stood there for a few more seconds just looking at each other, before Michael raised an eyebrow.

‘Are you just going to stand there all day, or…?’ he asked.

Gavin looked momentarily startled, coughing lightly into his hand. ‘Yeah, right.’ He trailed off awkwardly.

‘Shouldn’t you call Geoff and tell him you’re coming home?’ Michael said, the hint coming across painfully obvious.

_Leave._

A flash of hurt crossed Gavin’s face before he schooled his features (as well as he could being Gavin, he was always terrible at hiding his emotions) and nodded. ‘Yeah. I’ll do that.’ He hovered a moment in the doorway, as if giving Michael the opportunity to call him back, tell him he was _just joking_ and _of course he didn’t want him to go, stop being such an idiot_ but the moment passed and Michael was still standing there waiting for him to go so he did just that, turned tail and left, glancing back just in time to greet the sight of the door slamming closed.

He tried to quell the hurt rising inside him and failed miserably, and he ran a hand through his already messy hair before grabbing his stuff and leaving, his thoughts a jumbled, discorded mess.

As Gavin left Michal sighed audibly, repressing his own emotions trying to rise inside him in favour of picking up the needle and, with some degree of carelessness, immediately pushing it in a bit further down from the erstwhile pricks dotting the main vein on his arm.

He couldn’t say he was surprised to see it fail miserably the first time. Or the second. By the third his ever present frustration was almost at a point where he needed to punch something (the mirror was looking pretty tantalising) and by the fourth time he failed he actually _did_ punch something, but instead of the mirror it was the wall closest to him.

The pain that flared from his hand only fed the fury, and he bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood and lined the needle up again. With a yell of frustration ‘It’s too fuckin’ blunt!’ he turned and pegged the needle against the wall behind him, turning away again before he saw it impact. He grabbed the remaining needle, aimed it up and pressed it in, all within a few seconds. He tried to pull the plunger back but the sweat on his hands made him slip, and he nearly screamed in frustration. He reigned in the absolute last of his patience and readjusted his hold on the plunger to successfully pull it back.

In the rush of sheer relief he felt at seeing he’d finally _finally_ got it in the right fucking place he grinned madly, drew the plunger a little further back and slowly pushed it in, past the quarter point, past half, his grin spreading wildly across his face until he looked maniacal, eyes wide and mouth stretched in silent laughter as he pushed the plunger nearly all the way home.

There was a moment of clarity as he realised exactly what he’d done, and panic overwhelmed him before he sucked in a huge breath and yanked the needle from his skin as suddenly as if it had burned him. He grabbed at the counter and sucked in another breath as his vision blurred and he felt himself tip to the side, reaching out at nothing in panic as he realised that _I’m about to die, there’s no fucking way I’m gunna live_ and he could feel the high approaching, feeling his blood rushing in his veins.

He could distantly hear the phone ringing and he felt bad for a second that someone was going to come in here, find him dead like this, when the high hit and his last thought as he passed out was that suddenly, he didn’t care at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, yay, chapter 5 up. Next one should be within the next few days.
> 
> Read & review, yo

Gavin double checked his phone. It had been about half an hour since he’d last texted Ray and more than that since he’d left Michael’s. There was still no reply since the last time, and he hadn’t worked up the nerve to text Michael in the first place. He knew something was wrong with the Jersey boy, that there had to be an explanation for the rapid mood swings and instability he’d been expressing the past week.  
  
He just didn’t know what. The failed search in Michael’s bedroom had turned up nothing, and he was completely out of ideas.  
Not that he’d had any in the first place, but still.  
  
He’d racked his brains for any explanation, however fitting, and the best he could come up with was maybe a family member had died, and Michael just wasn’t ready to tell them.  
  
Which was, you know, pathetic, considering that aside from the fact he would have needed to at least tell Geoff so he could get time off for the funeral, he’d been normal, even happy in between the bouts of anger and rejection.  
  
So Gavin was stumped. Not to mention frustrated, upset, hurt and confused. But he couldn’t dwell on that, instead trying to draw his attention to creating a plan to help Michael. Except that he had no idea what the problem was in the first place, so he couldn’t try and think of a solution!  
  
Well aware that he was going in circles, Gavin checked his phone again (not that he needed to, he would have heard it go off) and sighed. He chewed his lip and looked around. He was meant to be walking home, but he decided he didn’t feel like that. So he plonked himself down on the curb, bending his knees underneath him so he was comfortable. The few passer-by’s there were at past 6:30 gave him strange looks, but people did that all the time, so they went unnoticed.  
  
He had just decided he was uncomfortable enough to warrant lying down in the gutter when he heard his phone chime. He flailed around in his half lying down position and reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone.  
  
He scrolled past the previous texts he’d exchanged with Ray, which had consisted of:  
  
 **You still at Michael’s?**  
  
 **No, I left. He got angry, asked me to leave. Not sure what’s up with him.**

 **I’m sure he’ll come around or something. It’s Michael. He can never stay angry with you for long**.

And: **Spose. Do you think I did something wrong?**  
  
Gavin had felt more and more uncomfortable with the last message he’d sent, and the longer he didn’t get a reply the more pathetic he’d felt. Because really, that’s how he’d come across. He shook his head in mild disgust at how he’d sounded and opened the new message.  
  
 **Nah, he’s just being Michael. I’m gunna go visit him.** Gavin’s eyes widened.

 **Oh, want me to come?** He replied, thumbs flying over the pad.  
  
 **No, it’s okay. I’ll message you if I need to.** Came Ray’s reply. Gavin’s face twisted with hurt.  
  
 **Are you sure?** He texted.  
  
 **Yeah. Go home, relax.** At Ray’s obvious dismissal he blew a breath out the side of his mouth, hurt flashing through him again. It stayed this time, building up in his stomach as he stared at his phone.  
  
 **Okay. Text me later.** Surely Ray didn’t mean to come across so harshly, right? Surely he was just trying to reassure Gavin that he could handle it, that he should calm down and stop worrying, right?  
So why did it hurt?  
  
Closing the message screen to Ray, he pulled up his contacts and called Geoff. He waited until the phone rang out before he sighed and put his phone in his pocket, getting up off the curb. He didn’t even think to call a taxi, too lost in the darkening swirls of thoughts to consider that maybe, he didn’t have to do things the hard way.

 

-

  
When Michael woke up, he was lying in a puddle of his own vomit. He didn’t know how long he’d been there, or for a moment even where he was. When he sat up he was met by instant dizziness, and he almost passed out again. He groaned, the sound burning his throat, and stayed for a few moments, just letting himself adjust.  
  
He felt the vomit, dried and wet, on his face but he couldn’t even feel remotely disgusted. He was too exhausted, and far too ill.  
If he’d thought he was in pain before, he was in agony now, his entire body a symphony of aches and pains, a mixture of burning and throbbing. Every tiny movement caused pain to shoot through his head, and he just wanted to fade back into the oblivion from whence he came.  
  
It took him a few moments to realize that beside the pain, something was wrong. After that, it took a few seconds more to feel the appropriate panic. He moved faster now, testing his body, working through the pain movement caused to figure out what was wrong, and he nearly froze with fear when he realized his right arm was numb, up to the shoulder.  
  
He could move it though, and it sunk in that it was probably just dead from him lying on it for however long he’d been out. He figured that he should find out what the time was, since he couldn’t feel anything wrong with his body beside the all-consuming pain encompassing him.  
  
From what he figured though if he was still alive now he couldn’t get much worse. He reached up and grabbed the towel rack, trying to pull himself up and failing miserably.  
  
He slumped back down; hit the ground with a thud. He lay there for a few minutes, his body refusing to obey his commands. He heard someone knocking on the door in the distance, and he jerked.  
  
‘No-’ he cried weakly, his voice cutting out, burning in his throat.  
  
‘Don’t… don’t come in.’ He raised his voice, trying to get through to the person at his door, who didn’t seem to get the message. He heard them open the front door, and he felt the vibrations as footsteps approached.  
‘Don’t come in.’ He repeated weakly, his voice rasping.  
  
The bathroom door was pushed quietly open until it thudded into his leg, stopping it. He heard a quiet intake of breath and it was pushed open further before whoever it was slipped inside and closed it behind them.  
  
He felt his head being tilted to the side, and he moaned quietly. Nausea rise inside him and he let out a choked noise as he threw up again. Whoever it was smoothed his hair for a second before they stood, exiting the room, and Michael moaned pitifully.  
  
When he ran out of even bile to throw up he dry heaved, convulsing as his body rebelled. The stranger had returned by now, and Michael felt strong enough to peel his eyes open and peer at who it was.  
  
He didn’t recognise the face peering back at him at first, until the dark hair, tanned complexion and black glasses swum into focus and he sucked in a breath.  
  
Ray stared back at him, mouth drawn tight with concern as he smoothed Michael’s curls out of his face again.  
‘What have you done?’ Ray asked quietly. When he received no response he pushed his glasses up his nose and stood from where he’d been crouching next to Michael.  
  
Wordlessly, he grabbed Michael under the armpits and pulled him upright. From there he dragged Michael over to the sink and propped him against it, getting out from behind him so he could manoeuvre Michael into a proper sitting position.  
  
Michael’s eyes had drifted shut again, and he was startled when he felt a cool cloth wiping at his face. He forced them open to the sight of Ray crouched again in front of him, wiping the dried vomit off his face with a washcloth he’d found draped over the shower stall.  
  
He closed his eyes and focused on the sensation as Ray washed the cloth, wrung it out and wiped his face clean, repeating the motion until his face was clear of vomit. After that Ray got a new washcloth and wiped his whole face before patting it dry with the corner of a towel.  
  
His eyes stayed closed when he heard the tap being turned on again, but when he felt something hard press against his lips they opened, and he accepted the glass of water being offered, automatically swallowing huge gulps of the water down until he was choking again, leaning forward in case he puked as Ray rubbed small circles on his back.  
  
Eventually he sat back up, collapsed against the sink with a moan. He drifted in and out of consciousness as Ray started cleaning the floor of vomit, placing the needle he found on the ground with the other still on the sink.

By the time the bathroom was cleaned he was shivering, the cold from the sink seeping through his thin shirt into his skin and leaving him freezing. Ray picked up on this, because as soon as he’d finished drying the floor he was at Michael’s side, whispering quiet words that washed over him, but comforted him none the less.  
  
He didn’t appreciate, however, when he felt Ray snake an arm around his back and start to lift him up. He moaned his protest, a pitiful ‘Don’t…’ escaping his lips as he was hauled up and leant against the mirror.  
  
His knees buckled and he would have fallen if Ray hadn’t caught him at the last moment. Michael cried out in pain, and he was hushed as his arm was draped over Ray’s shoulder and he was forced to move forward, pausing only when Ray reached out to open the bathroom door.  
  
The darkness stood like a wall in front of him and he shied away, afraid. At the murmured reassurance from Ray he started forward again, stopping every few steps to stop his body from collapsing underneath him. Eventually they arrived at his room, and he was dumped unceremoniously against the wall with a curt ‘Stay standing.’ issued.  
  
Michael wasn’t exactly sure how but he managed, forcing his weary body to stay upright until he was grabbed again and led to his now ready to sleep in bed. He collapsed into it without a second thought and was out almost as soon as he hit the pillow, mumbling a slurred ‘Thanks’ before slipping into oblivion once more.  
  
He wasn’t awake to feel his blankets being tugged over him, or to hear the soft sigh Ray gave as he made his way out of Michaels room, leaving the door wide open and the light on just in case.  
  
Once Ray had made sure Michael was comfortable and, as far as he could tell, going to live, he traced his steps back to the bathroom. As he’d suspected, Michael had been on one type of narcotic or another. He knew it was his duty as his friend and probable only person in the know to find out what it was, how much he’d used, how long he’d been using it and preferably, where he’d got it.  
  
Since Michael was now fast asleep in his bedroom, Ray had practically no way of finding any of these things out. He didn’t know enough to know exactly what was in the syringe, but he’d had his fair share of experience with drug users, and he’d picked up enough to be able to make an educated guess.  
  
Michael hadn’t been overly stimulated, so that was easy enough to take uppers out of the picture, more specifically cocaine solution, which was one of the few things Ray knew of that could have passed for the serum inside the needle on the bench.  
That, to his knowledge, left downers. That was still a wide array of options like barbiturate or even some of the legal shit like Valium, but when you factored in that it had to be water soluble and therefore injectable, that mainly left him with Opiates.  
  
He didn’t know exactly what kind, or even if he was close in his guesses, but he knew whatever the answer was it wouldn’t be good. Most depressants were in pill form and had some semi legal strain, but unless Michael had gone to the trouble of crushing it up to dissolve in water specifically so he could inject it, Ray thought he was safe in his assumptions.  
  
So now that he’d figured out roughly what it could be, he had to figure out what to do. He sighed heavily, placing the needles in the top drawer after taking a quick glance around for anymore. He knew there was probably more to whatever it was around, but he’d deal with that later, when Michael woke up.  
  
Ray didn’t have much of an idea about how long that would be, but he assumed it would be more than an hour.  
Rubbing his eyes wearily, he glanced at the time and headed for the kitchen. He searched around for something requiring not much effort, eventually settling on a packet of noodles.  
  
As he waited for the water to boil he realized he hadn’t texted Gavin back, and it was past 8:30. He pulled his glasses off and scrubbed a hand down his face. Gav was probably worried, and Ray was honestly surprised he hadn’t texted him at least once yet. He hesitated a moment before sending a quick text **Michael’s a bit sick, but he’s okay. We gotta talk more later.** and shoved it back in his pocket.  
  
He tapped his foot impatiently, making a face at the water which still hadn’t finished boiling, and frowned when he realized it had been more than a minute and Gavin hadn’t texted back. He’d have thought Gavin would have been waiting on a text, but he guessed the Brit did have other stuff to do besides dote on Michael hand on foot. Still, he shot off another quick text **You alive?** before he replaced the phone in his pocket and set about dropping the noodles in the pot.  
  
He shuffled around with his steaming bowl in his hand, slurping them up as he moved from spot to spot. Eventually he settled on the couch in front of the TV, gazing at the screen for a while before flipping channels in search of something that would hold his attention. His gaze kept wandering until the Xbox caught his eye and he visibly brightened, turning it on and setting it up.  
  
Caught in a dilemma between one of his old favourites and the latest Halo, he mentally flipped a coin before deciding on Halo and setting it in the disc tray. He kicked back and put his feet on the coffee table, looking entirely too comfortable for someone who had walked in on his friend unconscious and covered in vomit on the bathroom floor.  
  
But when he faced facts, it wasn’t the first time he’d handled someone who’d overdosed before, and he was sad to see it had happened yet again, especially to someone so close to him. As the cliché went, it happens to who you least expect, and it hadn’t failed in this situation.  
  
He’d assumed everyone (bar Geoff, who’d had extensive experience with drugs, and possibly an idiotic, manipulable Gavin) he knew or worked with anymore was smarter than this, but he can’t say he was that surprised.  
  
Ray was glad, at least, that he knew how to deal with something like this without freaking out anymore. The first time he’d walked in on his mother passed out, frothing at the mouth and seizing, he’d nearly fainted from shock.  
  
Since then he’d encountered enough people at parties, his own family and generally had enough experience (never himself though, never ever himself) to be able to take care of people off their head on drugs, or incredibly drunk, and even on the rare occasion _not rare enough_ had dealt with people who’d overdosed, and he’d never seen anyone die in front of him yet.  
  
It was bound to happen though, or at least it had been back when his attending of parties with his friends had been regular, and he’d knew he needed to get out of there before it was too late. So he’d done just that, gotten out of there as soon as he could, moving to New York and eventually down to where he was situated now, Austin, Texas.  
  
It didn’t change the fact that’d he’d hoped he’d escaped it all, though, and he was pretty disappointed he hadn’t.  
  
And that wasn’t even touching on the worry he was trying to repress. He had to talk to Michael.  
  
He started when his phone chimed, and he paused his game to pull it out of his pocket. He gave a double take when all that the message said was **Okay.** He frowned.  
  
 **You okay?** he replied.  
  
He waited a few moments before sitting it on the couch next to him. He’d only just un-paused his game when his phone went off again. He clicked it and opened the message without looking, before pausing the game again and checked the message.

 **Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.** The message seemed short and devoid of emotion, so unlike Gavin that Ray actually stopped for a moment. He brushed it off though, figuring he had more pressing matters to attend too.

 **Alright man. Cya.** He added a small smiley face emoticon to the end of the message and pressed send.

Digging back into the comfortable groove he’d created for himself, Ray settled into wait.

 

 

-

  
Several hours and about 3 finished games later, Ray was about to get up and check on Michael for the umpteenth time when he heard a noise behind him. He paused and glanced over the back of the couch, greeted by the sight of a sickly looking Michael leaning against the doorframe, rubbing his eyes.  
  
Ray set the controller down and moved to get up. ‘Hey.’ He greeted, moving towards Michael. Michael, in turn, just stared at him, not moving from his position in the doorway.  
  
Ray stopped when he was just in front of Michael, close enough to touch but not touching. Considering what his best options were, he settled on waving his hands around and asking ‘How you feeling?’  
  
This drew a weak laugh out of Michael, and he moved from where he’d been standing to step around Ray, heading to the couch and sitting on it. ‘Like I got run over about ten times.’  
  
Ray chuckled, and followed, flopping dramatically onto the opposite side of the couch from Michael. ‘Yeah, that’s normal.’ He saw Michael’s face twist in distaste.  
  
Ray sighed heavily. ‘We need to talk.’  
  
‘Look, Ray…’ Michael started.  
  
‘No, hang on.’ Ray put his hands up as if he could physically stop Michael from talking.  
  
Michael glared at him. ‘I don’t want to listen to-’  
  
‘No, Michael, shut up for a second. I’m not going to lecture you. Well I am, but not right now. We need to sort some things out. I’m not your mother, and I can’t control you or whatever you expect me to try and do. But...’ Ray rubbed his eyes. He’d been calm until this point, just wanting to make sure the curly haired man was really okay.  
  
And aside from looking incredibly sore, Michael was alive and moving around, and had even managed to try and glare him to death in the two minutes he’d been awake.  
  
Michael stayed silent, staring at Ray in the flickering light of the T.V.  
  
‘I’ve dealt with stuff like that before, obviously. I mean, where I grew up… and then in New York… I’m no stranger to drugs and alcohol and overdose.’ Ray paused.  
  
‘And walking in on you like that…’ he trailed off.  
  
Michael opened his mouth but was cut off by Ray.  
  
‘Like I said. No stranger. But… I walked in on you barely conscious in your own vomit, lying on the bathroom floor. There are so many ways it could have gone worse, Michael, want me to list them?’  
  
‘I know, Ray. I don’t need this conversation.’ Michael muttered guiltily, looking away.  
  
‘Don’t you? Because I’ll tell you, you don’t look like you have a handle on things. It could have been Gavin that had walked in, a little earlier or a little later, and you could have been dead or God knows. If it had been anyone else I can almost guarantee they would have called the hospital. I almost did, but you were awake.’  
  
He took a deep breath, leaning backwards against the couch. Michael shifted uncomfortably.  
  
‘Look, I… Thanks. For not calling the ambulance or something. I’m fine now, seriously. I just… Thanks. It could have been worse. Like you said. If it had been Gavin, I- But thanks for, you know, not dobbing me in. I really don’t feel like explaining that right now.’ He laughed weakly.  
  
‘It’s a whole lot of mess for something that might not need it. Plus, I don’t want you fired. I guess I do like you enough to let you stay.’ Ray winked.  
  
Michael chuckled. Ray looked at him a moment, before saying ‘So, tell me what’s up with this.’  
  
Michael licked his lips. ‘I don’t… fuck. I don’t fucking know.’  
  
Ray turned and looked him full in the face. ‘It’s just me, Michael. And I’m not judging you.’  
  
‘Didn’t know you were so romantic, Ray.’ Michael said, laughing.  
  
At this Ray tipped his head back and laughed. ‘Raymantic?’ he joked, wiggling his eyebrows.  
  
Michael snorted. ‘Never make a joke again.’  
  
‘I’m af- _ray_ -d that’s not gunna happen.’ Ray giggled.  
  
‘Ray!’ Michael complained, groaning lightly.  
  
‘I’m irresistible.’ Ray grinned.  
  
‘You are _no_ such thing.’ Michael replied, but he cracked a smile.  
  
‘Denial.’ Ray waved his hands away, as if clearing the air. However, his expression quickly sobered, and Michael resigned himself to the fact they were probably going to have this conversation. As if noticing this, Ray cleared this throat. He didn’t say anything though, and Michael raised any eyebrow.  
  
Ray looked at him for a few moments, contemplating. ‘Well, what is it?’ he asked finally.  
  
‘Drugs, idiot.’  
  
Ray sucked on his teeth. ‘Alright, be like that, where’d you get it?’  
  
Michael glared at him through the corner of his eye. ‘Does that matter?’  
  
‘Yeah it does.’ Ray glared right back.  
  
‘Whatever. Some guy at some club.’ Michael replied vaguely.  
  
Ray had the patience of a saint, but right now it was coming to an end. ‘Michael. I don’t want to rub this in to you, but I’m kind of doing you a massive favour here. I wouldn’t think of turning you into the police, and I hope you haven’t been thinking that. But I haven’t called Geoff, who would be the idealistic person to call, or Gavin, who’d positively freak the fuck out, nor done anything that can give you reason not to trust me. So… you know, trust me.’  
  
Michael looked at Ray, who was avoiding his eyes.  
  
‘Right. Sorry, Ray.’ The apology was enough to make Ray look at him again.  
  
Michael smiled briefly before he turned away again. ‘You hungry? I’m starved.’  
  
‘Am I talking to a brick wall here, or-’  
  
‘I know! I’m just fuckin’ hungry.’ His words were quiet but the meaning was clear. He wanted something to distract himself, make this conversation easier.  
  
‘True. Come to think of it, I’m kind of hungry myself. I made some noodles before, but they don’t exactly go heaps far to filling you up.’ Ray admitted.  
  
‘Tell me about it. Yet you and Gavin practically live off the stuff.’ Michael replied, pulling out some bread and stuffing it in the toaster.  
  
‘It’s delicious!’ Ray defended, eyebrows raised.  
  
‘Keep telling yourself that, Ray.’ Michael chuckled.  
  
‘You had them in your house.’ Ray pointed out.  
  
‘I wonder why that would be. It’s not like I have a certain Brit who comes around all the damn time.’  
  
‘Aw, you keep food you don’t even like around at your house, just for him.’ Ray teased.  
  
‘Shut the fuck up.’ Over his shoulder, Michael glared daggers at him.  
  
‘It’s like you’re practically dating.’ Ray sung, and danced out of the way of the butter container lid thrown at him.  
When he spun back around, however, he was met by a more serious looking Michael.  
  
‘How, um… How is Gavvers?’ Michael asked, looking slightly more hesitant.  
  
Ray paused. ‘Come to think of it… I don’t know, last time I saw him it was when I left you two alone in here.’ He winked suggestively. ‘But really, I texted him a while ago. He seemed okay.’ Ray left out the brief thought he’d had about Gavin’s uncharacteristic seriousness.  
  
Michael nodded, thoughtful. ‘Yeah…’ he said. He turned back to his food. He chewed in silence for a few seconds, before he looked straight at Ray.  
  
‘Heroin.’ He said simply.  
  
Ray choked on his air for a second, looking confused, before realisation flashed across his face.  
  
‘From that shitty little downtown club, I don’t remember what it’s called. Sharktooth or some lame ass name.’  
  
‘Sharkbite?’  
  
‘That’s it.’ Ray nodded for him to continue.  
  
‘I um... Ahem. There was some asshole in the bathrooms, offered me some shit. Told him to fuck off at first, but I came back later on… Was pissed off my head and mad at Gavin, just ended up back there. Took the stuff, I don’t fucking know _why_ , this is stupid!’ Frustrated, Michael ran his hands through his hair.  
  
Ray waited patiently for him to calm down.  
  
‘Wandered off and just… I ended up in some backstreet alley somewhere, upset and with two needles full of drugs in my pocket. And, since I’m apparently an idiot, I shot up, Gavin found me, took me home, and that’s how it’s all started.’ Despite his mostly casual words, Ray could hear the desperation in his voice, the self-loathing.  
  
However, it wasn’t that that he focused on. Instead, he sighed audibly with relief when he realised something. ‘So this was only the other day that you got them, right?’ he asked, making sure.  
  
‘Yeah.’ Michael looked confused for a second.  
  
‘So you still have a chance, right?’  
  
Michael looked away. ‘Look I’m not a full on fucking junkie, okay? But it… it’s there. I can feel it. The fucking pull.’ He laughed self depreciatingly.  
  
Ray’s mouth twisted. ‘Still, it’s only been a few days. That’s good. But Michael-’ he stopped, trying to plan his words.  
  
‘This has to stop. You know that.’ Michael nodded slowly.  
  
‘You know that, right Michael?’  
  
‘Yeah I fucking know, I’m not stupid.’ He hissed, and Ray backed off slightly. He searched for the words. He knew better than to tell Michael right here that he was never getting another hit of heroin in his life, because that wouldn’t go down well.  
  
‘How are you feeling?’ he asked again. Michael took a step back and scrubbed his hand down his face.  
  
‘Like I need another hit.’ Michael said sardonically.  
  
Ray shrugged. ‘I expected that much. Physically, though?’  
  
‘Like shit. My entire body hurts. My head hurts. I keep shaking.’ He laughed. ‘Haven’t stopped shaking.’  
  
There was a pause.  
  
‘Am I addicted?’  
  
Ray did a double take. ‘Are you- Are you addicted? You just-’ he stopped, tripping over his words. ‘Michael, you really have no idea?’  
  
‘Obviously not, or I wouldn’t have just asked, asshole! I thought it was just the after effects.’ He said angrily. He didn’t like being made to feel idiotic, and Ray was inadvertedly doing just that.  
  
‘If you weren’t, and let’s just say this for the sake of it, if by some chance you weren’t already hooked after that first night, every time you shot up after that would have increased that chance of you getting addicted exponentially.’ Ray pulled his glasses of and cleaned them, and Michael unconsciously mirrored the action. ‘And considering you just shot up enough to make you… yeah, yeah I’d say you’re addicted, the beginning stages of it at least. And since you’re new to this, and new to the whole thing, I’d imagine you’re feeling pretty shit.’  
  
Michael blew out a breath. ‘I’m addicted.’ He repeated, and it sounded vaguely like an admission. ‘Maybe not heaps bad, but like I said… I’m feeling it. I feel all… wrong. My whole body feels wrong, and bad, and I know that if I take some, those feelings would go away for a while.’ He paused. ‘I also know, I guess, that that’s how everyone feels with this, and it’ll, what, go away?’  
  
Ray raised one shoulder and dropped it. ‘After a while. How much did you take?’ At Michaels shrug, his mouth nearly dropped open. ‘You don’t even- Oh, my God. You’re lucky you’re not dead.’  
  
A shudder of unease ran through Ray. He’d always tried to avoid thinking about it, but when it came down to it all the times he’d found someone in a bad state, or overdosed, he’d always been so incredibly grateful they weren’t dead. He knew how close that line was, and it scared him to know Michael was in this situation now.  
  
Michael waved a hand dismissively, and Ray caught it. ‘No, Michael. That’s beyond stupid. You don’t even know your measurements, and-’ he stopped. Dropping Michaels hand, he headed for the bathroom.  
  
‘Hey wait, where you going?’ Michael stumbled after him, wincing at the way the room spun.  
  
‘Bathroom, what’s it look like?’ Ray replied distractedly, focused on getting to the bathroom.  
  
‘Well yeah man, but why?’ Michael finally caught up and grabbed Ray’s arm, swinging him around so he was between Ray and the bathroom door. ‘I mean I don’t mind, but a dude’s bathroom is his personal space.’  
Ray stopped. ‘A dude’s bathroom is his personal space?’ he repeated dubiously.  
  
Michael shifted. ‘Well yeah, man, it’s like his sanctuary?’ he said, but his voice turned up at the end.  
  
Ray muffled an exasperated laugh. ‘Dude, are you forgetting I spent half an hour cleaning up the vomit off the floor of your so called “sanctuary”?’  
  
‘Half an hour?’ Michael wondered aloud. Ray frowned.  
  
‘Yes. Now move it, I have illicit drugs of yours to confiscate.’

‘Confiscate?’ Michael repeated nervously, unmoving.  
  
‘Yes, confiscate. Get them well away from here. Now if you don’t move I’m going to forcibly remove you and I don’t think that’ll feel too good right now. So, budge it.’ Ray raised his eyebrow and leaned forward, prepared to go through with his threat.  
‘Okay, okay.’ Michael said unhappily.  
  
‘Cheers.’ Ray entered the bathroom and headed straight for the sink, where he’d left the last two needles. He picked them up carefully and inspected them. One had barely any left; the other had maybe a quarter.  
  
‘How much did you use earlier?’ he asked, still inspecting the needles.  
  
‘Um, the- the empty one.’ Michael gestured distractedly, crossing his arms.  
  
‘Yeah, but how much?’ Ray asked. At Michaels silence he whirled around. ‘Wait- Did you use the entire fucking thing?’ he asked, voice rising in shock.  
  
‘It’s not entirely empty.’ Michael defended.  
  
‘Jesus, Michael! No wonder you- Jesus. You’re lucky you’re not dead.’ He blinked, shock still evident in his features before stepping right up close to Michael.  
  
‘You’re lucky you’re not dead.’ He repeated, staring directly into Michael’s eyes, who took a step back.  
  
‘I know.’ Michael said quietly. Ray remained entirely unconvinced, but he figured he might as well leave it for now. Michael and pushing things rarely ended up well.  
  
‘Hey, do you have a garbage disposal?’ he asked.  
  
‘I- What? No, I don’t, why would you-’ he started, before his eyes narrowed in understanding. ‘Oh.’  
  
‘Yeah, oh. We’re getting rid of these. Pronto. Chop-chop.’ Ray raised an eyebrow as if daring Michael to argue. When he didn’t he pushed past him, grabbing his sleeve to make sure he followed.  
  
‘Don’t touch me.’ Michael warned.  
  
‘Well, to clarify, you’re getting rid of these.’ Ray continued, ignoring him completely.  
  
‘Why me, specifically?’ Michael asked.  
  
‘It makes it more solid. Helps it sink in.’ Ray replied.  
  
‘You seriously think that’ll help.’ Michael said, running a hand through his curls. He was sweating heavily, and it felt absolutely disgusting. He’d been trying to conceal how terrible he felt so Ray wouldn’t overreact, but from the worried glances Ray kept giving him, he knew he was doing a terrible job. He hadn’t stopped shaking since he’d woken up, and despite his lack of complaining he felt nauseous and uncomfortable.  
  
He knew Ray knew that too, and while he was worried, the bastard had been slightly smug about it too. It was just reinforcing his lesson.  
  
‘Look Ray, can we please do this later? I don’t… I feel like shit, man.’ He admitted, and he sat down on a chair at the table, his head in his hands. ‘I’m… I don’t know how much longer I can stand this.’ He said this in a small voice, embarrassed about expressing his pain.  
  
Instead of backing awkwardly away or leaving him alone, Ray pulled up a chair next to him. ‘I know, Michael. It sucks. It feels like hell and to be honest,’ he glanced at the time, ‘it will probably get worse.’ At the groan he received from Michael he gave a sympathetic smile.  
  
‘Yeah. And this isn’t just a normal comedown. Well it kind of is. You’re coming down from a near death overdose, but you’re still coming down. Crashing. And not to mention the low you’re gunna hit real soon.’  
  
‘Why are you telling me this?’ Michael moaned pitifully, raising his head to look at Ray.  
  
‘Because you have to face facts. You’re in a bad spot, getting worse. I hate to tell you, but you’re addicted. To Heroin, no less. I don’t know what you expected when you shot up first time? But this is what it will nearly always turn into.’  
  
‘I didn’t think this would happen.’  
  
‘Welcome to like every junkies life, ever.’ Ray declared, clapping Michael on the back. ‘Seriously, Michael, Heroin. It’s like the most addictive drug out there. You’re honestly saying that after injecting yourself with it, multiple times, you’re surprised you got hooked? You’re surprised you’re feeling shit? Did you expect it would all be flying high and euphoria?’  
  
‘Well no, I-’  
  
‘I know you’re not that stupid, Michael, why did you do it?’  
  
‘I don’t fucking know. I just did. Can we drop it?’  
  
Taking pity on him, Ray stood. ‘I’ll grab you some Tylenol.’  
  
‘I need something stronger.’ At the dirty look Ray gave him he rolled his eyes. ‘I don’t mean that! Get me some sleeping pills.’  
  
‘It’s not something you should take…’ Ray tried, but taking another look at Michaels pathetic form slumped on the table, still shaking, he gave up. ‘Fine. But, and I’m serious when I say this, don’t make a habit of it.’  
  
‘Yeah, yeah.’ Michael said, muffled through his arms.  
  
‘I’m serious!’ Ray yelled as he exited the room. ‘Wait,’ he said, poking his head back in. ‘Where’s the things?’ he said.

Michael raised his head blearily. ‘I don’t have any.’  
  
‘Why did you ask for some then?’ Ray asked, exasperated, but he smiled.  
  
‘Go get me some.’ Michael said, and flopped back down, groaning as his head landed heavily.  
  
‘What, from the store?’ Ray asked, doubt evident in his voice.Michael grunted his affirmation.

‘You’re funny.’ He said sarcastically. ‘Plus, it’s like 11 at night.’ He added, sitting back down.

‘What? No, c’mon, I’m dying here!’ Michael yelled.  
  
‘As if I’m leaving you alone.’ Ray said.  
  
‘For like five minutes? I think I’ll live. I’m not a baby, Ray.’ Michael grumbled, and finally sat up straight.  
  
‘And I’m not stupid.’ Ray retorted.  
  
‘What do you think I’m gunna do?’ Michael asked.  
  
Ray sighed. ‘It’s nothing personal. It’s just I know from experience that it’s never a good idea to leave j- to leave you alone right now.’  
  
‘Too many mistakes made?’ Michael asked, sighing.  
  
‘Nailed it. Now c’mon, let’s get you into bed.’ Ray stood.  
  
‘I don’t wanna.’ Michael mumbled childishly.  
  
‘You look like shit. It’ll make you feel better, honestly.’ Ray said.  
  
Michael snorted. ‘Thanks.’ But he smiled, because Ray was just trying to help. He got up, grimacing when his body rejected the movement.  
  
‘You might be able to sleep through this.’ Ray said hopefully.  
  
‘How long is this going to take?’ Michael asked, confused. Ray coughed into his hand.  
  
‘Well, I mean, you know, it depends… It could be a short amount of time?’ he avoided, and looked away when Michael raised an eyebrow. ‘I’ll set you up on the couch, yeah?’ he offered. Michael looked slightly happier at that, letting it slide.  
  
‘Sounds good.’ He said weakly, and moved towards it.  
  
‘I’m staying the night.’ Ray said. When Michael opened his mouth, he interjected. ‘Nope, don’t care. You don’t leave drug addicts alone, especially while they’re recovering from an overdose.’  
  
‘Don’t say it like that.’ Michael grumbled.

Ray raised an eyebrow. ‘What do you want me to say? You- oh, fine. Shut up and get on the couch.’

‘Don’t tell me what to do.’ Michael said as he did exactly what Ray told him to do. Ray draped the blankets that remained on the couch over him.

‘I’m not your boyfriend. This should be Gavin’s job.’ Ray joked.

‘Do you think Gavin’s alright? I’ve been kind of mean lately.’ Michael mumbled, turning over and pressing his face into the pillows.

‘I’m sure he’s fine.’ Ray reassured, and settled in on the recliner. He was asleep within moments.

It was almost an hour later when the phantom aches and shivering subsided enough for Michael to sleep, too.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to put notes at the end so I didn't spoil shit but I realised I may have to include trigger warnings.  
> If you struggle with anything self harm or depression wise, read on with caution. I realise I should have probably done this with the drug use too, my bad. 
> 
> That being said, I would like to point out a few things. 
> 
> Gavin, in this story, doesn't suffer from general depression. He does have problems, and it's further explained in later chapters, basically as the coping mechanism, but I just wanted to make it clear that's not what's up, even though are points in this chapter that'll appear that way.
> 
> But y'know, happy reading.
> 
> Read & review, yo

When Gavin woke up that morning, from dreams of huge gaping holes and voids of crushing blackness, he immediately wished he hadn’t. Sunlight streamed brightly from his open window, and heat poured in. Gavin took one look at the room and turned over, burying his head under his pillow.

It took mere moments for him to twitch in frustration, seconds for a growl to build in his throat and perhaps another five on top of that for him to grasp the pillow in sweaty hands and peg it across the room.

He was immediately up and pacing, far too awake to even _think_ about going back to sleep. His mind was racing, building up images and tearing them down seconds later, bouncing off the walls of his skull and leaving him with a pounding headache.

After a particularly vicious vision including Michael and betrayal and a truly ridiculous amount of blood Gavin slammed a fist into a wall, the pain clearing his head momentarily for him to realise he had to get the fuck out of this room.

His body stumbled under him as it reminded him he hadn’t fed it since that bowl of noodles yesterday. He ignored it, taking vindictive pleasure in the way his stomach twisted, and pulled open the door to his room. He walked straight downstairs and into the kitchen, where Geoff was buzzing about making breakfast.

‘Hey, buddy!’ Geoff greeted absently as he flipped the pancake. At Gavin’s stony silence he turned, glancing at him before he did a double take and turned to face him fully. He blinked, open-mouthed, and Gavin turned heel and walked away before he could say anything.

Griffon stepped out of the bathroom wearing nothing but two towels.

‘Oh hey sweetie, bathrooms free if you want it, still tonnes of hot water.’ She addressed Gavin. She frowned at his lack of response and reached out to touch his face. At his angry jerk away her face twisted in pain. ‘Sweetie-’ she started, but Gavin turned and walked away from her, too.

He slammed the door behind him and quickly stripped of all his clothes, avoiding his reflection in the mirror. He turned the temperature up high and stood under the spray. He hissed as the water ran hotter, heating up to the point of scalding him, but he still stayed directly under it. He was soon drawing in torn, ragged breaths as the water burned his skin, pounding against him mercilessly.

Eventually he yanked open the shower door and stumbled out, gasping. His eyes wrenched shut as tears forced their way down his face, helplessly crying at the agony he’d caused himself. He hooked an arm over the sink and dragged himself up, and this time he faced himself fully in the mirror.

His face, saggy and drooped, ugly and baggy, stared back at him. His eyes, dull and lifeless, entirely devoid of any happiness or usual Gavin cheer sat above rings, black from troubled sleep. He reached out to get a towel to tie around his waist. He wrapped it around his waist, tucking it in.

After a moment he paused, twisting so he could properly see his upper shoulders. The burns were red and angry. His skin felt tight and he could feel the heat rolling off it in waves. He reached out and touched one of the worst looking parts, and the pain that shot through his body was agonising. But it cleared his head, chased out most of the darkness enveloping his mind, so it was with no hesitance that he flexed his fingers and dug his fingernails deep into the burn, tearing harshly down his back.

He didn’t stop even as he cried out, and it was only after he’d reached the end of the burns that he pulled his hand away and glanced at the blood running thinly from his back. He raised his hand to do it again, but as he started he unwillingly cried out once more.

Geoff was at the door in a moment, banging on it. ‘Gavin, come out of there.’ He said, voice level despite his banging growing desperately louder. ‘I’m coming in, alright?’ he asked, opening the door as he said it.

Gavin greeted him with teeth bared, panting heavily as tears continued to stream unconsciously down his face. ‘Out.’ He spat, chest heaving.

‘Gavin…’ Geoff said weakly. He’d spied the burns covering Gavin’s shoulders and upper back, but he knew he wouldn’t get anywhere close enough to help him.

He didn’t need to be told twice when Gavin stepped forward, unreadable intention in his eyes. Geoff scurried out, closing the door behind him and leaning against it.

He was no coward, but he was no idiot either. He knew when to pick his battles. He took a deep breath and headed into the kitchen to his family.

Once he was sure Geoff was gone, Gavin turned back to face the mirror. His lips peeled back with absolute disgust, and self-loathing emanated from every pore. His grip on the edge of the sink tightened, and he bit his tongue until he drew blood. He stayed there for a few moments, entire body shaking with tension, until he blew out a huge breath and his body slumped.

He felt all his energy drain from him, and he would have collapsed onto the ground if it wasn’t for the agony of his back. He’d felt worse before though, so he grit his teeth and tugged a loose shirt gently over it, followed by a baggy hoodie.

He slowly dragged his jeans on, and sat down to pull his socks on, too exhausted to support his body weight anymore. He remained on the floor a few moments after he was done, just staring at the ceiling. Eventually he pulled himself up, each movement slow, and made his way out of the bathroom.

He picked at his hand absently as he entered the kitchen, greeted by momentary silence and three sets of eyes staring at him. After a short moment Griffon visibly shook herself, and smiled brightly. ‘Pancakes, Gavin?’ she offered, and pulled out a plate.

He stared at her until he turned his gaze on Geoff, who shifted uncomfortably. ‘I won’t have time.’ Gavin replied slowly.

‘Look, don’t you think today would be a good day to have off work? It might do better to relax for a day, don’t you think?’ Geoff asked in what he hoped was a casual manner, and felt a small bead of sweat form in his hairline.

‘Why?’ Gavin asked, tone flat.

‘It’s just, we don’t have much really planned today…’ Geoff said weakly. He was so out of his depth and unmined when Gavin was like this. It was such a shift from his usual self that regardless of what kind of man Geoff was, he was thrown every time.

Granted he’d only seen him have a day like this a few times. His heart sunk at the knowledge today was going to be another one. He really wanted to help Gavin, but any offers or attempts to help were shot down and treated with loathing. It wasn’t often Geoff Ramsey was left helpless, but this was a situation he had no control over.

Gavin hated working on days like this, shying away from everyone and flinching away from everything as if it burned him, not that anyone tried. Geoff shuddered to think of what could happen if he was pushed. But he knew Gavin couldn’t be left alone. Whenever he wasn’t distracted by something his body took the opportunity to try and destroy itself.

Geoff could see his left hand was almost bleeding from being picked at unconsciously by his right. Every fatherly part of him wanted to go over and stop that action, to soothe Gavin and hold him until he was alright and he didn’t look like he was a step away from breaking.

Fragile. That’s what he was.

Sighing, he gave up on getting Gavin to stay home. It had been a half-hearted attempt, and Geoff had been lying when he’d said today wasn’t a busy day. He had so much scheduled he had no idea how he was going to keep an eye on Gavin as well.

Gavin nodded blankly at Geoff’s obvious surrender and turned away. He headed into the lounge room and sat on the couch, staring at nothing. Geoff watched him go, knowing he’d stay that way until it was time to go. He cleared his throat and turned back to his wife.

Griffon had tried to lighten it up, saying that since he was so happy all the time when he was actually sad, it was just a lot worse than normal.

Geoff did think Griffon had struck something when she’d said that. Because she was right. No matter how much he was insulted, or what shit he took, or how badly he was treated, Gavin got back up and kept coming, seemingly unaffected.

Geoff knew that of course he wasn’t completely unaffected, and he’d seen his fair share of hurt flashing across Gavin’s face before it was covered up by a blinding smile and a jab designed to further annoy his victim.

Until that first day, though, he’d never imagined it could be so bad.

He remembered the utter helplessness, the (admittedly large) feeling of fear, the confusion that had morphed into vague understanding then morphed into horror (because really, this was one of the most destructive coping methods outside of drugs and alcohol he’d ever seen) that this was what Gavin was when he didn’t have that smug fucking mask on, that this is what could be hiding behind someone you really thought you’d knew, and the despair he felt at being part of the cause.

It’s not like he was any less teasing than the others, after all. But that’s all it was. Teasing. He knew Gavin knew that, and that’s why 999/1000 times he really _could_ shake it off without a second thought, but it was that one time that hurt.

That one time that evolved into that black hole, sucking away his confidence and feeding off every teasing jab and every mock insult hurled his way.

That one time that built and built, hidden behind his mask of happiness and content which, most of the time, he truly felt, until he realised far too late that it was there and there to stay. Until the last tendrils of darkness wrapped around his ankles and dragged him screaming over the edge, until he was at the point of insanity, before it let him go to try and struggle his way back to the beginning, to build himself up again only to be broken down by his own mind again.

Geoff, despite his worries for the young Brit, didn’t know the extent of how bad it was. He didn’t presume to. He just knew it was bad, probably as bad as some of the worst comedowns on some of the most addicted junkies, because he’d seen addicts in the darkest depths of their withdrawal that didn’t act as bad as him, who’s eyes showed more misery and pain than the average citizen could claim to know but didn’t shine a candle in comparison to the depths of agony he’d seen in Gavin’s.

It was all very morbid, Geoff supposed. He tried to avoid thinking about it, only tried to help him and keep him afloat for as long as he could. No matter what though, his thoughts always cycled back.

It was bad, but in the very early parts of the morning Geoff wished that it would be afternoon and Gavin had exhausted himself, so he wasn’t physically tearing his body apart, so that he was quiet and Geoff knew he could look away for ten seconds and not turn back to see him smashing the mirror, holding the largest shard of glass he could find against his wrists and dragging it down, slicing his arms open and-

He knew when Gavin wasn’t outwardly destructive, his mind was probably twice as bad, keeping him silent and staring at a wall until he’d jerk away from whatever closest to him, head whipping around to assess the situation and make sure that whatever he was seeing wasn’t real.

The surprise hurt Geoff more than he’d admit. He knew it was just Gavin’s insecurities at their finest, but the look of shock he wore every time without fail, when he finally escaped the confines of his own mind in such a rush he physically shocked himself, and discovered that the people probably dancing across his mind hurting him were right in front of him, worried sick. How he was shocked when they were concerned, suspicious when they wanted to help, and above all, terrified of them.

He just hid it behind anger, when he wasn’t in the catatonic state that seemed to come over him when he exhausted himself.

Geoff shook his head. He was getting lost in his thoughts, and he really needed to be getting ready. He caught Griffon’s look of concern and gave her a reassuring smile as she made her way over to him.

‘Promise if anything happens you’ll come home?’ she asked him, lips hovering just off his.

‘I promise.’ He murmured.

‘Good.’ She smiled. ‘You know I’d have to kick your ass if you didn’t.’

He laughed. ‘I know. I saw you eyeing up that big block of wood you have in your shed.’

‘Oh, you don’t know the half of it.’ She teased, eyes glinting mischievously.

He smiled too, and pecked her on the lips. ‘Love you.’ He said as way of goodbye. He looked up to see Gavin hovering in the doorway, hands in pockets and eyes averted.

‘Alright, let’s go.’ Geoff said, much more cheerfully than he felt.

Gavin followed obediently as they made their way to the car, and the rest of the drive there was held in silence.

 

-

Geoff rubbed his eyes tiredly. Gavin was sitting in the chair behind him, in his usual seat, alternating between slumped completely and sitting totally upright, as if he’d had a rod shoved in him.

Jack was working quietly away next to him, aware enough of the situation to not try and force any conversation. Geoff had just gotten off the phone with Ray, who’d tried to plead him and Michael sick.

Geoff had promptly told them to shove it where the sun don’t shine, kindly reminding them that ‘ _Last time you had a day off for being sick you’d been in a Halo tournament all night.’_

Ray had argued that that was ‘ _one time’_ and they were _‘really sick this time, honestly'_ , and Geoff would have liked to let them have them have the day off, because they rarely ever asked. That was an excellent perk of enjoying your job. However, they really did have a lot of work they had to catch up on and since they weren’t offering him any proper reasoning he had to make them come.

With one last ‘ _Get your ass to work’_ he’d hung up on them, dropping his phone onto his desk with a sigh. Since then he hadn’t moved aside from the occasional glance at the figure behind him and staring at the video rendering in front of him.

He was just about to suggest a relatively early lunch when the door opened and Ray and Michael slipped inside. Michael really did look like shit, pale and sweaty, but Ray looked fine. At the questioning glance Geoff gave him Ray shrugged, and mouthed ‘Talk later.’

Geoff nodded and with a final glance, turned back to his computer. He didn’t notice the look that crossed Gavin’s face at the sight of Ray squeezing Michael’s shoulder lightly. He didn’t notice this, but he felt the tension of the room slowly build behind him. He sat up, brow furrowing in confusion as his body picked up a change in atmosphere well before his mind did, and slowly swung back around.

He was met by Gavin staring at Michael, who seemed oblivious, and Ray, who was chewing on his lip and awkwardly avoiding his eye.  

Gavin had stiffened completely as soon as they’d arrived, and his entire body was straining with tension. He was still staring at Michael, expression blank, but his body betrayed him. Geoff opened his mouth to speak, but Gavin beat him to it.

‘You arrived together.’ He said.

Michael rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah, he stayed the night at my house.’ He turned to his computer and tugged his headphones on, efficiently ending any attempts at conversation. Gavin turned away as well, turning his gaze onto Ray.

There was a moment of silence as Gavin zeroed in on what Ray was wearing.

‘You’re wearing his clothes.’ He accused, voice seething.

Geoff heard Jack stand up immediately, heading silently for the door. He wished badly to follow, but he knew he had to stay.

Michael, who had remained oblivious, finally clued into the situation. He turned to Ray, whose face was heating up suspiciously. Geoff felt his own spark of curiosity ignite, but he snuffed it in favour of preparing himself to defuse the situation.

‘Uh, yeah. I um, didn’t plan to stay the night at. We were up late playing video games and lost track of the time, and I didn’t have time to get a spare change of clothes this morning…’ Ray laughed awkwardly.

Michael glanced at Gavin, annoyed, before doing a double take. Geoff could see the exact moment it clicked, in the way his eyes widened and he sucked a breath in. Geoff could see when Ray followed Michael’s gaze and, finally, everyone in the office understood the situation.

Michael hesitated and opened his mouth to speak, but not before Gavin stood abruptly, nearly tipping his chair over. He stared straight at Ray, hatred rolling off him in waves, before he turned and left.

There were several beats of silence before Michael sighed heavily, looking for all the world like he wanted to crawl in a hole and die. He scrubbed a hand down his face, unknowingly mimicking Geoff’s earlier actions, and glanced at Ray helplessly.

Geoff sighed. ‘Look. I don’t know what’s going on between everyone here, but it’s about time you sorted it the fuck out. What's going on?’ Geoff asked, looking at everyone in turn.

Michael licked his lips nervously, avoiding his gaze. Ray was staring holes in the floor. Geoff threw his hands up in frustration. ‘You know I’m all for letting you sort your shit out. But you’re doing a piss poor job of it.’ He leaned in closer.

‘I’ll support all of you and you damn well know it. But for fucks sake, tell me what’s up.’ At the silence he received, he pursed his lips.

‘You know I don’t normally stick my nose into your business. But right now I’ll admit I’m worried. You,’ he pointed at Ray, ‘spent the night at his house for God knows what reason. Since you obviously don’t want to talk about it, I won’t push it. But,’ he put emphasis on the word, stressing it. ‘Gavin comes home last night looking like shit, won’t talk about it, goes to bed alright if not upset, and wakes up this morning like…’ he trailed off, waving his arms around, searching for the words. ‘Like this.’

Ray shifted awkwardly and Michael looked guiltily at the floor.

‘You don’t know what it’s like in the mornings. If you can’t stand it now, he… It’s worse.’ Geoff paused, and shook his head as if to clear it. ‘Just fucking tell me what’s up with him!’

‘We don’t know, Geoff. If we did we’d try and help him. We never know, why would this time be any different?’ Michael defended.

‘So you’re saying you have absolutely nothing to do with this?’ Geoff asked dubiously, raising his eyebrows in clear conveyance of his doubt.

Michael cleared his throat. ‘No. Not exactly. But we don’t know what triggered it, right? I mean, do we ever? Sometimes it just happens.’ He said weakly.

‘It just… happens.’ Geoff repeated, his tone darkening to match the thunderous look on his face. Ray took over.

‘That’s not what he means. We’re just saying we don’t know why this is happening. Michael’s having problems’ he glanced at Michael ‘and I’m helping him. That’s what the big secret about me being at his house is about. But believe me when I say we have no idea what this could have to do with Gavin.’

Geoff glanced between the two. ‘He can speak for himself.’ He mentioned casually. At Ray’s flush he closed his eyes and unclenched his jaw.

‘I’m sorting it out, Ray’s helping. I honestly don’t know what it has to do with Gavin.’ Michael said, and looked straight at Geoff.

Geoff looked at him in return, gaze switching between pupils. Eventually he sat back. ‘Alright. Fine. But if I find out you’re lying to me, and you’re the cause of this…’ he trailed off, leaving the threat unspoken. The two men understood regardless, and watched wordlessly as Geoff stood. When he was almost at the door, Michael spoke up.

‘Geoff?’ he asked quietly. The man in question turned.

‘What’s… what’s Gavin like, when we can’t see?’ Michael asked, avoiding looking at him.

Geoff paused. ‘He… he’s bad.’ Michael blanched. ‘That’s all you need to know.’ He said, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

‘Four times, right?’ Ray asked. At Michaels glance he elaborated. ‘That, there’s been day’s like this. That I know of. Four, including this?’ Geoff nodded.

‘And each time it’s… it’s what?’

‘Hell.’ Geoff laughed weakly. He closed his eyes.

‘Before work, before he’s so quiet you wouldn’t even know he was there, he’s like a big fucking whirlwind of insanity. He tears at his skin, at his hair, at everything he can get his hands on that will cause himself pain. I’ve seen him on days where he’s smashed his head against the wall until he’s unconscious so he can escape the hell in his head. I’ve seen him smash a mirror and use the glass to cut his wrists open, so he can end whatever the hells in his mind.’ Geoff said quietly.

At the deafening silence that followed, he opened his eyes. Ray looked upset, to put it lightly, but not quite surprised. Michael, on the other hand, looked shell-shocked, pain twisting his features as he pictured what Geoff had told him.

Geoff cleared his throat. Michael looked up slowly, and seemed to be trying to find the right words. Eventually he settled on ‘Why?’

Geoff shrugged one shoulder. ‘Hell if I know, I have no idea what goes on in his head. Your guess is as good as mine.’ At this Michael deflated even more.

Geoff leaned over and clapped a hand on his shoulder, eyebrows rising at the wince Michael gave. He chose not to comment, instead lifting his hand and walking to the door once more.

He paused again before he left. ‘The way I see it, is that he’s got no coping mechanism. None whatsoever, except this. He’s happy all the goddamn time, blocking in all the bad until eventually he’s so fucked it comes pouring out, I guess in a way he can’t control. I don’t presume to understand it.’ He looked at Michael pensively, eyes portraying his helplessness. ‘All I can do is try and help.’

With that he left the room, shutting the door with a final sounding _thump_ behind him. Michael still looked heartbroken, breathing heavily as he tried to process everything. He turned to Ray.

‘Jesus, Ray.’ Was all that he said. And all he got in reply was a knowing nod, and Ray turned back to his work. Michael, decidedly discontent with this, narrowed his eyes before standing abruptly and following Geoff out the door.

‘Michael?’ Ray called after him.

‘We’re gunna talk to Gavin.’ Michael shouted back, his mind made up. Ray paused before placing his headset on the desk, shaking his head in disagreement even as he followed Michael out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after this, I'll update again tomorrow and then it'll be a few days.
> 
> Also, today's the day I'm uploading the first chapter of my new Bounty Hunter fic!  
> Y'all should go read it, because I'm hell excited.
> 
> Shameless self promotion over, enjoy the chapter! <3

Silence was the only thing Geoff was met with when he eventually discovered the British boy’s current hideout. After he’d escaped, Gavin had slipped wordlessly past all the looks of confusion and concern thrown at him by the other workers at Rooster Teeth and into the upstairs coffee room.

At this time of day it was empty, though it wouldn’t stay that way for long. The few stragglers that had stopped in had only stayed long enough to grab a coffee and something from the vending machine and make their way out, studiously avoiding the pale figure perched precariously on the edge of the sofa.

Geoff had wandered around, half-heartedly searching for him, when a distraught looking Barbara had pulled him aside and hissed at him ‘I don’t know _what_ is going on, but for the love of God fix it.’ Confused, Geoff had been about to question her when it clicked.

‘What’d he do?’ he’d asked quietly, glancing around at the curious Joel who’d poked his head out of the office to eavesdrop.

Geoff narrowed his eyes at him and Joel yelped, ducking back inside. The satisfaction he’d felt hadn’t lasted when Barbara had looked at him sadly. ‘He hasn’t done anything, so to speak. It’s just upsetting.’ She’d admitted reluctantly, and Geoff had been surprised. Barbara was a woman you didn’t want to mess with, and the level of concern she was showing for the boy spoke volumes for how disconcerting the whole issue was.

Geoff had simply nodded and continued his search with renewed vigour. He’d known Gavin wouldn’t want to be found, but he figured he probably didn’t have enough energy to make a proper effort to escape.

That was the best case scenario, anyway.

But since he’d kindly asked anybody at the front door to alert him if Gavin had exited at all, and he hadn’t received any such notification, he was content in his assumption that Gavin was still in the building somewhere. After a check of the warehouse, empty offices and kitchen, Geoff had been stumped until he’d remembered the upstairs options. Shy from hiding in a closet, which Geoff determinedly put past him, his next guess was the coffee room.

A guess which had proven to be right, and Geoff wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or anxious. He settled for a nauseous mixture of both.

He'd been tagged along by Michael and Ray, who seemed dead set on talking to Gavin, but Geoff had blown them off, unsure of how stable Gavin was at the current time.

He'd promised to talk to him, though.

Since Geoff had entered he’d simply sat down next to the lad, shifting positions every now and then to get comfortable. The first few times he’d moved enough to affect the figure next to him, he’d earned a tired glare, which he’d return with a smug smile or a wink in a hopeful attempt to lighten the mood. His attempts had been fruitless, though if he was being honest he didn’t really expect them to work anyway.

He’d since given up on trying to cheer Gavin up; instead settling on what he hoped was a companionable silence. He still shuffled occasionally though, and it was on the last shuffle he did that he finally opened his mouth.

‘If you want, Michael and Ray want to talk to you.’

And it was with those words that Gavin had shot up out of his seat and frozen, leaning forward with his hands balled into tight fists and his nostrils flared.

Geoff froze before he too rose, but slowly, hands up in a gesture of surrender. He looked straight at Gavin, and it took quite a bit for Geoff not to flinch from the burning anger he saw.

Gavin licked his lips, his mouth parting. He drew long, uneven breaths in and held them, before slowly releasing them. It was a basic form of anger management, and it seemed to have little effect.

But that didn’t account for the warm feeling it gave Geoff that Gavin was still there and trying to calm down before he tore something apart.

Unclenching his hands in what must have been a Herculean effort, Gavin stared angrily around the room before landing his gaze on Geoff once more.

‘No.’ He said simply, but if looks could kill Geoff was positive he’d be a pile of ash.

‘It’s not gunna be anything bad! Honestly Gavin, they just want to talk to you.’ Geoff said, his naturally lax manner of speaking slowly becoming more serious as he attempted to get his point across. He took a step towards him.

Gavin’s lips pulled back in an unconscious growl and in possibly the most unfortunately clumsy move in history, he took a step back. This lead to him stepping into the coffee table and he lost his balance, falling backwards onto it with a crash as it shattered under him. There was a beat of silence before the door was wrenched open and Michael stumbled in, his exhausted body temporarily buckling under him as he tried to force it to work harder than it really could at that moment.

He looked around, eyes wide as he took in the sight before him. Ray entered behind him and closed the door calmly, but his body betrayed his tension.

Gavin looked up from the remnants of the table he was lying in and drew in a quiet breath. A second later he was scrambling backwards, impaling himself with shards of glass as he dragged himself away and stumbled to his feet, apparently unaware of the cuts and pieces of glass sticking out of his skin. 

Michael hadn’t moved since he’d entered the room and encountered a totally different sight to what he’d expected. At the crash of glass he’d panicked, jumping up from his seat next to Ray slumped against the wall and bolted inside. His first thought was that Geoff had pushed Gavin, but judging by the man’s stance –posture relaxed and hands raised- he’d quickly realised that wasn’t the situation.

Since then he’d stopped, his mind racing to get an explanation as to why Gavin looked so damn scared, but when he saw Gavin dragging his body across the glass (he didn’t think _why_ ) he rushed forward, ignoring the sickly jolt he felt in his own body at the action, and grabbed Gavin around the wrist.

'No!' Gavin yelled, wrenching his wrist away at the same time as Michael was hauled away by Geoff, and the silence afterwards was interrupted by a small gasp of pain as Gavin stumbled blindly backwards and fell painfully against the wall.

There was a few beats of silence broken only by Gavin’s ragged panting as he backed himself into a corner, eyes wild and nostrils flared with panic, his hands held defensively out in front of him. Ray was staring, wide eyed, and Geoff was still holding tightly onto Michaels shoulders.

They seemed to realise this at the same time and Geoff dropped his hands, allowing Michael to take a small step away while they kept their eyes on Gavin. Gavin straightened against the wall and looked all around in what Geoff assumed was his fight or flight response kicking in.

Geoff noted that the three of them were standing between Gavin and the only exit in the room. He was about to point this out when he heard Michael speak.

‘Gav-’ Michael’s voice cut off, mouth feeling like cotton wool, and he cleared his throat and tried again. ‘Gavin…’ but he stopped, because the pitiful whimper he received when he said Gavin’s name broke his heart.

Geoff put a hand on his shoulder and guided him to the side of the room, efficiently removing the obstruction from Gavin’s path. Ray seemed to understand and he too moved aside, and they all watched Gavin’s reaction.

Gavin, in turn, took a tentative step forward, and when he received no reaction he moved as far away from the trio as he could while still maintaining a clear path to the door. After another moment’s pause he took a few more hesitant steps towards the door, and Geoff thought they were in the clear until the door banged open, revealing a curious Lindsay and an embarrassed looking Kerry trailing in her wake.

‘Sorry, I told her to wait but…’ he trailed off as they both took in the scene before them. His mouth dropped open and confusion twisted his features. ‘What the-’

He was cut off as Geoff lunged forward and pushed him out the door, grabbing Lindsay by the back of her hoodie and not so gently pulling her backwards and out the door too.

‘Get out!’ he hissed quietly, hoping they would take him seriously. Judging by the slack-jawed look they were both giving him, he figured they’d at least obey him. He looked up at the other few people who’d gathered around curiously and gave what he hoped was his most intimidating glare.

‘Get out.’ He repeated, and looked at them all squarely. They backed off, some raising their hands in surrender like Geoff had just before. He watched as they all scurried away, and he mentally prepared himself to re-enter the room. He honestly had no idea what to expect, but from the lack of sound (although he’d realistically only been gone for a few seconds) he hoped it wasn’t anything bad.

He turned around and glanced through the still open door, but he only caught a glimpse of Ray turning away from him, looking back towards Gavin so he tensed and entered quickly, approaching their backs. He slowed to a stop when he looked at Gavin, who’d backed himself into the corner and closely resembled a trapped animal.

When Geoff thought about it, that metaphor was spot on.

Gavin, in his mind, _was_ trapped, and he was reacting as a captured animal would, alternating between lashing out and backing away. Not to mention he was hurt, and when Geoff focused he could see the blood seeping through his pants and dripping down his hands. He needed to get cleaned up and get the glass out of him, but Geoff had no idea how to go about that.

‘Gavin, you have to calm down.’ He said, and winced at the words. Gavin didn’t react, except to tremble more violently, entire body straining with tension, looking for all the world as if he couldn’t hear Geoff. His eyes continued to flick between the three men in front of him, gauging their every movement, and he kept shuffling in place as if he could get himself any further away.

‘Gavin.’ Michael repeated quietly, taking the chance to ever so slowly put one foot in front of the other, making his way to where Gavin stood, frozen.

Michael’s slow approach remained uninterrupted and he arrived without incident in front of the other man. Still moving painfully slowly, both due to his own exhaustion and his caution for Gavin’s reaction, he reached out a hand to grasp the others, which was slippery with blood. When he was met by nothing aside from the trembles racking through him, Michael squeezed it gently and slowly pulled him closer, wrapping his arms lightly around Gavin.

Everyone froze as they awaited a reaction from the British boy, but relaxed minutely as he remained unmoving, a statue in Michaels arms. Michael tightened his grip minutely, trying to convey a sense of security and protection, and when Gavin slowly returned the embrace Michael could have cried. He felt his arm twitch against his will and Gavin froze up again, and he wanted to curse himself.

Michael was helpless to his own body’s happenings, and regardless of how much sleep he’d gotten last night the occasional twitches and constant phantom aches still plagued his body. He’d been feeling worse throughout the course of the day, and despite how hard he tried to ignore it his body craved another hit.

Thankfully (or not thankfully) the situation with Gavin had temporarily taken his mind off it, but whenever there was pause he felt it creep back in, engulfing and enveloping his every waking thought.

Ray and Geoff remained silent throughout the whole ordeal, forgotten about in light of what was happening, but remained ready to act regardless. They were relaxing fractionally, letting their guard down as the seconds passed and Gavin remained calm and even _fucking hugged Michael_ , leaving Geoff in a state of shock and Ray smiling slightly.

Though he could feel Gavin unfreezing and beginning to react, Michael needed to make sure Gavin was okay. He pulled back slightly to see Gavin’s face, realising far too late that that was a mistake, because the first thoughts that ran through Gavin’s mind were _It’s a mistake get out go run run RUN_ and he panicked, pulling away and retreating once more.

‘No!’ Michael yelled and the loud sound, sudden and close, was enough to send Gavin into a panic again, lashing wildly out at Michael. ‘Damn it!’ Michael yelled as he tried to grab the Brit and stop him from hurting himself, but it only caused Gavin to freak out more, trying desperately to get away. He reared back, slamming his head against the wall, and the shock that coursed through his body made him pause.

He didn’t see Geoff and Ray appear on either side of Michael until it was too late, and he was effectively blocked in the corner. ‘Grab him!’ Geoff yelled, and they did just that, wrestling awkwardly until they had Gavin restrained on the ground, his arms pinned by Ray and his legs securely in Geoff and Michael’s grasps.

Ray lost count of how long they stayed like that, holding into Gavin as he screamed and yelled and twisted desperately. Geoff kept apologizing, over and over until Gavin had exhausted himself, tears drying on his hot cheeks as he slumped completely and lay still. Ray looked at Michael, who hadn’t looked away from Gavin the whole time, and knew the expression on his face must mirror his own.

Pain. Regret. Guilt.

But it was necessary, and he didn’t need Geoff telling them that repeatedly as they finally let go of Gavin completely. When he didn’t move Geoff took a shaky breath and picked him up easily, as if he weighed no more than ten kilo's.

He carried him over to the couch and placed him gently on it, before pulling out his phone and calling someone. Ray looked as confused as Michael did suspicious until they heard ‘Griffon, if you could come pick Gavin up… Yeah. Ye-' a strangled noise, ‘Yeah. I love you.’

He hung up and put his head in his hands, before he shook it and stood up. ‘She’ll be here real soon. I’d rather not take him downstairs just yet, she’ll ring when she’s here and we can take him down then.’

Geoff looked away from them then, and when he looked back Ray felt his insides twist at the pain reflected in his eyes.

‘I didn’t want to do that.’ He murmured, and it was so unlike Geoff, this whole situation was so surreal Ray didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh, cry or demand to wake up.

‘I’m sorry.’ Geoff said again, his voice choked, and they knew he was talking to Gavin, even if he wasn't listening.

Michael stepped forward, braver than Ray was at that moment, and put a hand on Geoff’s shoulder. ‘We had to. We didn’t have a choice.’

‘I know.’ Geoff replied. ‘But I fucking hate it. He was just gunna hurt himself, so we had to…’ he trailed off. ‘But it doesn’t make it feel any better. The way he looks at me- God.’ Ray nodded and Michael just turned back to the figure on the couch, who was now sitting up, leaning forward on the couch so his back wasn’t pressed against it.

Geoff stiffened suddenly, and Ray and Michael turned their attention to him. As his face continued to drain of colour, Michael was quick to ask.

‘What? Geoff?’

Geoff didn’t respond except to lean towards Gavin. Gavin didn’t react when Geoff gently tugged his arm through the sleeves of his hoodie and tugged it up around his neck. Gavin didn’t react except to flinch when the hoodie was pulled over his head and his vision was momentarily obscured, and he didn’t react afterwards, simply sitting there passively, staring into the middle distance.

Michael’s attention was diverted to the cuts marring his hands and parts of his wrists, caused by dragging himself through the table.  

He didn’t expect, however, for Geoff to gently peel Gavin’s shirt over his head too, and he was confused for a second as to why it stuck to his back so much, and why part of it was red when it was naturally white-

When Michael’s body, completely against his will, made him double over and wretch violently, Gavin still didn’t react. Not when Ray led Michael to the corner of the room to throw up, or when Geoff leaned forward to take his own jacket off and wrap it gingerly around him.

He just stayed, unmoving.

‘Geoff?’ Ray asked, voice rising with panic. When he received no response he asked ‘What was that?’, and it went unnoticed when his voice cracked.

‘Before I got there…’ Geoff said, more to himself than anyone.

He’d just pulled out his phone to call Griffon when it rang in his hand, signalling her arrival. He accepted the call and interrupted whatever she was saying when he said ‘Change of plans. We’re taking him to the hospital.’

Ray distantly heard Griffon’s voice increase in volume as she demanded an explanation, and Geoff hurried to explain as he put the phone between his shoulder and his ear and wrapped his arms around Gavin, picking him up bridal style, his arms narrowly avoiding the mess that was Gavin’s shoulders.

Ray couldn’t hear over the sound of Michael throwing up, and he strained to pick something up. As Geoff exited he caught ‘soaked with blood', which he already knew from one fucking look.

He watched as they exited the room and he realised they should go with them. He tugged at Michael’s sleeve, and when he was met by a groan, he ducked down to look him full on.

Michael was paler than ever, face damp and sweaty, eyes bloodshot and still glazed in shock as he tried to process what had just happened. ‘Ray.’ he managed pitifully.

Ray tried to ignore the unease rising further in his stomach.

‘C’mon Michael, we gotta go.’

‘I don’t feel good.’ Michael said, leaning over to spit more bile out of his mouth. Ray glanced at the time, and felt his anxiety build when he realised it had been around sixteen hours since Michael had overdosed. Although he’d gotten some sleep, the exhaustion of his body mixed with the craving for another hit and the general fatigue of crashing so heavily so recently, it was surprising he was still up.

Add that to the mental shock he’d received, Ray thought that put Michael in a pretty bad place. It was no wonder his body was rebelling against him.

‘C’mon buddy. Gavin needs you.’ He said as he tucked his arm underneath Michael’s armpit and stood straight, effectively putting Michael back on both feet. They headed to the door as fast as they could with Michael still doubling over, and followed Geoff’s path down the stairs.

When they’d passed everyone and were out of earshot, safely in Michael’s car, Ray leaned backward and scrubbed at his face as Michael leaned forward and put his head in his hands. ‘What was that?’ he asked, his voice small.

‘I don’t know.’ Ray replied honestly. ‘But we should go find out.’ He hinted, indicating for Michael to go.

‘Just a minute.’ Michael whispered, and Ray didn’t ask why. It took a bit longer than a minute, verging on five before Michael finally straightened, wiping at seemingly dry eyes, and nodded.

‘Alright then.’ He said, and they started off towards the hospital.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay new chapter let's put our excitement hats on.
> 
> No but really, I hope you enjoy the slight change in pace after the previous few chapters. After this it'll probably be a few days until I update again, so yeah.
> 
> Read & review, yo

They arrived in time to meet a tired looking Geoff at the door, and he explained that Gavin had been admitted overnight. He was currently not responding to any stimulation, and the doctors had become suspicious.

Worried he had some unclassified medical or mental condition, they’d vigorously quizzed Geoff until he’d snapped, insisting Gavin was fine and ‘Just under a lot of stress.’

They’d left it, but he’d overheard the terms ‘suspicion’ and ‘neglect’, and Geoff was growing distraught.

‘If he doesn’t snap out of it soon, they’re gunna chuck him in a fucking mental hospital, right? How do we explain what happens to him without them doing it anyway?’ Michael asked, worry twisting his features. Neither Geoff nor Ray had replied, instead looking at each other uncomfortably. Michael had immediately realised what they’d been thinking, and turned to them with a mixture of shock and disgust.

‘Don’t you dare tell me he needs a mental hospital.’ He’d hissed, and Geoff had placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly, only to be jerked off angrily.

‘Michael…’ Geoff had started, before cutting off, looking guilty.

‘What if he does need help?’ Ray had suggested. When Michael had stared at him in shock he’d held his hands up defensively. ‘You know I mean nothing bad about this, but you can’t tell me that’s normal! Seeing a counsellor or something might do him good.’ He’d said, shrugging.

‘He doesn’t need help!’ Michael had all but screamed at them, drawing curious looks from other people situated in the waiting room.

‘Why are you reacting like this?’ Geoff asked, drawing himself up to his full height and crossing his arms.

‘Because it’s not fair that he has bad days sometimes and you want to cart him off to a fucking mental asylum!’ Michael had replied, and seen Geoff flinch. _Good,_ he thought angrily, _serves him right._

But his anger had subsided temporarily to be replaced with guilt when Geoff looked back up at him, pain brimming in his naturally gentle, sleepy eyes, dark anger shimmering behind it.

‘You don’t know the worst of it. You don’t even know _half._ ’ Geoff had whispered darkly. ‘Don’t stand there all high and mighty pretending you didn’t help hold him down twenty minutes ago. Don’t act like the hero when it’s not your choice. And don’t you _dare_ try and tell me I’m wrong for wanting to get him help when he fucking needs it.’

Michael had stood there, speechless as Geoff continued to rant.

‘I tried to tell you earlier. He’s suicidal. _Suicidal._ He has one day out of a fucking hundred that he turns from the most happy, energetic piece of shit I’ve ever had the luck to know to an uncontrollable, unpredictable hurricane. And I have no idea what to do when it happens. It’s dangerous. It’s fucking downright scary. And all you see is him when he’s quiet. I fucking live with the guy. You might be his best friend but I bet he’s never talked to you about this, has he?’ A pause.

‘I bet you never asked.’

Michael had barely restrained himself from hitting Geoff in the face. ‘What are you implying? That I don’t care?’

‘If you cared, you’d realise he needs help.’ Geoff had replied.

‘Why can’t we help him?’ Michael hissed.

Geoff looked at him. ‘Right. Because that’s always worked so well before.’ He’d replied drily.

Michael had no response to this. Ray, who’d remained silent, piped up again. ‘We’ll ask him. About a counsellor. Can’t hurt, right? I mean, it’s better than the alternatives.’

Michael had shaken his head, angry but unable to express it, because he knew they were right. ‘Whatever. I’m going in to see him.’

‘No, you’re not.’ Geoff barred the way. ‘They’re not fucking done cleaning him up.’

Michael, overwhelmed with frustration, had nearly punched him again, until Ray stepped up and led him away by the shoulder outside, where a storm was brewing. He’d collapsed on a bench and they’d remained that way, Ray with a comforting hand on his shoulder while Michael just sat, thoughts running through his head at a million miles an hour.

Now, Michael distantly realised that the sounds of thunder were growing louder and more consistent, and he knew they should go back inside. He just couldn’t seem to force his exhausted body to obey him.

When a particularly violent spasm ripped through him he doubled over, and he felt Ray kneel beside him in concern. ‘How you feeling?’ Ray asked.

‘I’m alright.’ Michael responded.

‘Bullshit.’ Ray replied, and Michael looked at him, annoyed.

‘If you know why’d you ask?’ He snapped. Ray shrugged.

‘Because it helps to be honest? I don’t know. Honestly though, how bad is it?’

Michael’s head fell into his hands again, and the disgusting, clammy feeling to his skin was repulsive. ‘It’s getting worse, but nothing I can’t handle.’ At the disbelieving look Ray gave him, he narrowed his eyes.

‘What?’ he demanded.

‘Nothing. It’s just, I bet the craving for another hit is getting pretty bad.’ Ray suggested innocently.

Michael glared. ‘Shut the fuck up, Ray. I said I can handle it, I can handle it.’

‘I’m not saying you can’t.’ Michael raised an eyebrow.

‘Sure sounded like it.’ He replied, but it had no venom to it.

‘I’m just saying, I know it’s no walk in the park. If it gets too bad, just say so. We can go back to my place.’ Ray offered.

‘Why your place?’ Michael asked distantly.

‘Because I don’t know what’s still at yours.’ Ray replied meaningfully.

‘Whatever.’ Michael brushed it off. ‘We have more pressing matters to attend to.’

‘Yeah. They’re probably done… yeah, by now.’ Michael nodded in response and hauled himself off, groaning miserably. ‘I’m dying, Ray.’ He whined. Ray responded with a chuckle, and they turned to re-enter the hospital. Just before they went back inside, Ray stopped Michael with a hand in the doorway.

‘But Michael, you do know Geoff just wants to help, right? I mean, he’s just looking out for Gavin.’ Ray said sincerely.

‘I know Ray, I’m not an idiot. It just seems like a one way ticket to a mental hospital, trying to explain to them what’s wrong.’ Michael sighed.

‘Maybe. But I’m sure Geoff will find a way. You know he’d never let them take Gavin away.’ Ray replied, brow furrowing.

‘Yeah? Better fucking hope so.’ Michael said, pushing past Ray and effectively ending the conversation. He approached Geoff, who’d jumped up when he saw them return.

‘Look, sorry about that, Michael.’ Geoff said.

‘It’s fine.’ Michael replied candidly, before he softened. ‘It’s alright. Sorry too, for being an asshole. I’m just… worried.’ Geoff nodded understandingly.

‘Well, you’ll be happy to know he’s like, taking visitors and shit. I saw him for like a minute before, and they got all the glass out of him and patched him up and all that. Told him he looks kinda like a mummy, but he didn’t appreciate the joke.’ Geoff recounted, smiling slightly.

Ray perked up. ‘He’s talking?’

‘Nah. He just looked even less amused than he already did.’ Geoff responded, and turned to Michael. ‘You wanna go in…?’

‘Yeah.’ Michael replied immediately. ‘Where is it?’

‘Uh like, second door down the left hall or something.’ And with that Geoff sunk down on the chairs, looking more relieved but no less tired than before. Michael took that as a good sign regardless, and headed off to follow Geoff’s less than adequate instructions.

After arriving at the correct room – the fourth door on the right, Michael discovered with a sigh- he’d slipped silently in and saw Gavin immediately. He almost laughed at the sight of the British boy all wrapped up and lying in bed, and Geoff’s mummy joke came to mind instantly.

Michael disregarded those thoughts as soon as he got a proper look at Gavin. His eyes were still dead and lifeless, and there was no glimmer or light to them that normally helped brighten a room.

‘Hey, Gavvers.’ He mumbled anyway, and flopped into the chair pulled up next to the bed.

‘Gunna be like that?’ he joked when he received no response. ‘Nah, figured. Guess I just came in here to… you know, say sorry.’

‘I um…’ he trailed off, trying to form a coherent thought. He looked increasingly more frustrated as his words evaded him, and he gave up with a sigh, this time flopping forward to land face first onto a spare bit of bed not currently filled by Gavin.

Not that that was difficult. What’d he weigh, like thirty pounds? He barely took up any of the bed, and the way he hunched in on himself only made the illusion stronger.

Michael remained like that for a moment before he spoke.

‘I don’t know what to do.’ He laughed, but it was twisted and wrong. ‘There’s so much shit going on, you know?’ he spared a glance at Gavin. ‘I guess you do, you're part of it.’

He looked up at the ceiling, blinking furiously to avoid the moisture filling his eyes. ‘I messed up, big time. Major league fuck uppery. And you know, I think it’s going to keep happening. I don’t think I have a choice.’

Well aware that Gavin could hear him, he stopped.

‘And I know you obviously have some major ass problem or this’ he gestured around the room ‘wouldn’t be a problem. Not that it is a problem,’ he hurried on, ‘but you know what I mean.’

He laughed again. ‘You and I have some fucked up problems.’ But when he thought about it, his problem wasn’t that fucked up. _He_ was fucked up, for plausibly throwing away everything good to ever happen in his life in a fit.

He was renowned for that, though. Michael glanced up and at Gavin, who to his surprise was looking at him. Michael couldn’t place it, but somehow he looked more… _alive_ than he had a few minutes ago.

Gavin didn’t say anything, so Michael just continued talking. ‘I feel like a total idiot sitting here talking to you with no response. But then again, sometimes that helps me when I’m upset. Just having someone talk to me, or talking to someone, with no pretense of anything or no expectations. It’s just whatever happens.’

‘I sound kind of like you. You like weird stuff, and come up with stupid ideas, and have no brain to mouth filter _what-so-ever._ But I guess that’s all part of why we like you.’ Michael chuckled. ‘I’ll shut up, I guess.’

He didn’t know what he expected. If he’d expected Gavin to reach out and tell him to keep talking, or to shake his head, or give some notion of opinion one way or another, he was sorely wrong. Gavin just kept staring, with his big green eyes that looked so scarily blank.

‘Why are you still staring at me?’ Michael demanded. ‘Have you even fucking blinked? And _why_ do your eyes look so fucking _empty_?’ At this Gavin reacted, looking almost shocked.

‘What, you surprised? Cause they are! It’s _scary,_ Gavin! It’s downright terrifying! Why the fuck does this happen? What in the FUCK is going on in your head? What the fuck even happened today? Or any other day this happens?’ He was out of control now, his own brain to mouth filter disintegrating, leaving him nothing but a furious torrent of words rushing uncontrollably out.

His own coping method.

‘Because I’d love to know! What the hell happens to you? Why do you do this shit to yourself?’ as he yelled, he could almost taste the hypocrisy. ‘Why does it happen?’ he asked, panting and out of breath.

‘Why?’ he repeated in a small voice. And when Gavin’s eyes flicked away he stood. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but after that he didn’t think anything he said would be of value, so he mentally shook himself and took his leave.

When he ran into Ray in the hallway, he didn’t ask why Michael was so red-faced and out of breath. He just grabbed him by the hand and pulled him aside.

‘Stay here until I’m done, I won’t be very long.’ Ray said. Michael laughed.

‘Look, Ray, I’m not a baby. I seriously appreciate all you’ve done and you’re doing for me, I do. But you need to go home and get some sleep, and chill out a little. Vav needs his superhero, and you can’t be X-Ray if you’re babying Mogar.’

Ray laughed, and relaxed a little. ‘Well if you guys weren’t such idiots I wouldn’t be dragged into this. And don’t mention it. But I’m not letting you leave here alone.’

Michael tried to look as reassuring as possible. ‘What, you gunna have another all-nighter at my expense? I don’t think so.’ Ray just looked at him sceptically.

‘What?’ he snapped after a moment, his increasingly short temper getting the better of him.

‘I know what you’re trying to do, Michael.’ Ray said. Michael’s nostrils flared.

‘What? Be nice to my only sane friend at the moment? Try and give you some sleep instead of forcing you to baby me? I can take care of myself.’ Michael fumed.

‘Of course you can.’ Ray smiled indulgingly. This only served to fuel Michael’s anger more, and he hissed, striking out at the wall.

‘Fuck you! Fuck you and your everything, Ray! I’m going home. Go talk to fucking Gavin.’ Michael spat, and spun on his heel and left.

‘Michael!’ Ray called out after him. When Michael didn’t respond Ray chased after him.

‘What, Ray?’ Michael spat out as he turned around to face him. However, he didn’t expect to see a legitimately angry Ray on his heels, so he froze momentarily.

‘Look, Michael.’ Ray hissed. ‘I’m trying really hard to do what I can at the moment, but you sure as hell aren’t helping. Gavin needs me, he needs you, and you need him. And I need you to man the fuck up and try and help me! I’m not a complete idiot, Michael. I know what you’re going home to do. So don’t even try it with me, or I’ll tell Geoff and he’ll babysit you.’

Michael considered if he was serious. He rarely saw Ray generally angry, so he decided he’d have to go with it for now, until he could get out.

‘Now go and sit with Geoff. And if I hear you move an inch, so help me…’ the threat was left unsaid as Ray pulled back and turned away, heading in the direction of Gavin’s room.

‘Fourth door on the right.’ He called out weakly. He didn’t know if Ray heard him until he saw a slight nod of the head and Ray disappeared around the corner.

Ray quickly figured out which room was Gavin’s and he slid into the seat next to the bed. ‘Yo, Vav.’ He nodded with a quick wave of the hand.

He stretched languidly, feeling his sore muscles pop and stretch beneath him. He sighed contentedly before slumping back down. ‘Not gunna lie, that felt pretty good.’ He admired the ceiling for a few seconds before looking at Gavin casually.

‘Sup?’ he asked, and received no answer. ‘Figured as much. Man, there’s a storm coming.’ He jumped up and headed for the window, pulling it open to reveal there was, in fact, a huge storm forming outside. Ray paused, thoughtful.

‘When we were little, Mumma Narvaez would take us all out near the mountains whenever there was a huge storm coming. Like a huge one, but not hurricane style huge, you know? It might sound crazy but honestly? It was amazing.’ His voice took on a dreamy, reminiscent tone as he spoke and he smiled, taking solace in the memories.

Ray sat back down next to Gavin and leant back in his chair, facing the ceiling and lacing his hands behind his head. ‘We’d all run around while it was pouring down and thundering, and there’d be so much lightning in the air you could feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. It’d light up the sky and the thunder would crack so loud it’d vibrate our entire bodies… We never went really high or anything, she wasn’t trying to kill us.’ he smiled.

‘It was so relaxing. You know…’ he sat up straight and faced Gavin. ‘I’ve been thinking. And I say that loosely, because I came up with the idea just now. But, I digress. We should do that. It’s storm season coming up, right? Just the lads, or Geoff or whoever you want to come as well. Perhaps a friend of the opposing gender?’ He winked.

‘When you want to talk again, you should let me know your thoughts. I’ll keep an eye on the weather patterns and all that.’ He shrugged. ‘But I’ll always be up for it. It’s indescribable.’ He closed his eyes and let himself smile slightly at the memories that danced across his eyelids.

The first clap of thunder boomed, loud and sudden behind them, and Ray opened his eyes and smiled wider. ‘I’ve always loved storms.’ He whispered.

They stayed like that for a few moments more before Gavin spoke up, voice quiet and cracked.

‘Ray?’ he asked. If Ray was surprised he didn’t show it, instead turning to him casually.

‘Yessums?’ he replied.

‘Where did you used to go?’ Gavin’s voice was small, but he seemed determined to ask. Ray grinned.

‘Well, there was this huuuge mountain range not far from where we lived that was perfect for it. Seeing as we can’t exactly get to it from here, that raises a problem. But, don’t mention it, I’m way ahead of you, I think I know a place that manages to fit the requirements. The requirements being, y’know, secluded and within a hundred miles of here.’ He smiled knowingly. ‘You up for it someday?’ The question was casual, but Ray hoped he’d say yes.

‘Yeah, I think I would.’ The reply was uncharacteristically serious, but it was a huge leap from the sullen silence of before.

‘Ye-Ye!’ Ray cheered. ‘Who do you wanna invite? Or we not up to that yet?’ Gavin shrugged, looking away. Ray narrowed his eyes in understanding.

‘Well, Michael of course. Team Lads, bitches! Who else, um-‘ he was interrupted by the arrival of Geoff, who looked surprised to see Gavin sitting up. While he hadn’t seen him talking, he must have assumed.

‘Don’t let me interrupt. I just wanted to say I’ve gotta go home soon. Griff’s got stuff on and our babysitter won’t come cause of the storm…’ he gestured outside. ‘Unless I’m needed here?’

Ray glanced at Gavin, who shook his head. ‘Nah, looks like were good.’ He smiled. Geoff nodded and turned to leave.

‘Wait, uh-‘ Geoff heard from behind him.

‘Yes?’ he asked. Gavin looked uncomfortable.

‘Sorry.’ He said. Geoff laughed and waved his hands dismissively.

‘Don’t even mention it. It’ll just be a hundred dollars.’ He nodded, but smiled and continued seriously. ‘I’m always here for you, you know that. Now, I’m out. Call me if you need me.’ He grinned and exited, sticking his hand back in for one last peace sign before he left.

Ray chuckled, but Gavin looked apprehensive. ‘What’s up?’ he asked, and Gavin just shook his head. Ray cocked his head to the side and waited, and eventually Gavin looked at him. ‘Whaaaaat?’ he drew out and Gavin smiled slightly before it faded back into the previous look of apprehension.

‘Is Michael mad at me?’ he asked quickly, words tumbling over each other in his rush to get them out. Ray pursed his lips and considered it, but shook his head.

‘Nah. He’s got some problems, and it’s up to him to tell you when he wants, and he’s just takin’ it out on everyone. Why, what’d he say?’ Ray’s prising was refused when Gavin just looked away and shook his head quickly.

‘Alright. Why do you ask?’ Gavin squirmed slightly.

‘Want me to invite him in?’ Ah. Nailed it. Gavin looked even more squirmish, but he had that caught out look that often gave him away when he tried to prank people.

‘It is kinda empty in here. And we need to tell him about my excellent –if I do say so myself, which I do- plan, right? So want me to bring him in?’ After a moment’s hesitation Gavin nodded.

‘Sweet. Brb.’ Ray declared, exiting quickly. Gavin’s eyes followed him out, but when he left they returned to the ceiling. Gavin sighed. He felt incredibly better from before, but still felt horrible in comparison to normal.

His stomach twisted. What was wrong with him? He wasn’t surprised Michael had blown up. It was absolutely the weirdest thing he’d heard of, and he had no explanation for it. And the fact that they’d seen some of it firsthand…

Gavin shook his head, trying to banish the thoughts from his mind while he waited for Ray to return. They hadn’t acted weird about it, so Gavin would just do what he did best (see: badly) and adapt, go with the flow.

The doctors had sedated him slightly, but it was mostly painkillers to take the edge off the burn and so they could safely remove all the glass he’d managed to get wedged in him.

Absentmindedly he scratched at his hand before he realised there was a small bandage over it. Frowning, he pulled it off to reveal a small but flaming scratch mark. The flash of shock that ran through him was prickly, and he coughed.

How did he not notice he’d been doing that to himself? His face scrunched worriedly. He knew he owed a lot to Ray for acting normal, for pretending everything was okay when it was pretty far from it. He’d have to tell him later, when Gavin wasn’t so-

He was torn from his thoughts by the return of said Ray, Michael in tow. Michael raised an eyebrow at the obvious change in Gavin (He looked so much more _alive,_ if Michael thought he’d seen that spark earlier he was dead wrong) but said nothing, instead looking around the room for another chair when Ray claimed the one by the bed.

‘Dude, what kind of hospital room only has one fucking chair?’ he asked, and settled for standing.

‘Pop a squat?’ Ray offered, gesturing crudely to his lap and grinning. Michael smirked and strolled over, pretending to go through with it until just before when he straightened, taking in Ray’s laughter and Gavin’s small smile with a pang of happiness.

‘So what’s this big secret?’ he asked, right as lightning flashed and thunder clapped.

‘Well, it’s this thing I’ve been doing forever, right.’ Ray paused as the rain started and started hard, pouring against the windows immediately. He raised an eyebrow, unimpressed at the interruption, and continued. ‘Basically, when I was little and it used to storm, and I mean storm hard, like this, my mother would take us out to the mountains…’

So Ray spilled his magnificent plan to Michael, who got just as caught up and excited as Ray and Gavin were. Gavin started talking too, bits here and there as the night wore on and the thunder grew louder and more frequent and the rain pounded incessantly on the windows and the roof, almost deafening in its enthusiasm.

If Michael ended up sitting next to Gavin on his bed because he’d been ‘standing for fucking ever and my fucking feet hurt’, and Ray plonked himself on the tiny bit of space on the other side of Gavin because ‘it was cold and fuck you, I do what I want.’ but it was really because they could see Gavin shaking from a mile away and honestly, a bit of comfort and affection never went amiss, so be it.

And if the two nurses on night duty couldn’t bring themselves to tear apart the three sleeping men all squished together on that tiny little bed, and they woke up in the morning to find an extra blanket draped over them, well, then no-one said a word.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have listened to Hallelujah on repeat during writing this and eugh emotions.  
> I'll update my other fic like, pronto, so y'all should also check that shit out.
> 
> Read & review, yo

Gavin looked uncomfortably at the psychiatrist perched delicately on the hospital chair next to his bed. ‘Look, I appreciate this, but it’s really unnecessary…’ he trailed off.

The man just quirked an eyebrow and scribbled something down. ‘”Refusing to come to terms with problems”?’ Gavin recited, glancing at the notebook. ‘What? There _is_ no problem, I don’t see why this is even happening! It was an accident.’ Gavin crossed his arms and pulled a face.

The man nodded and covered his notebook with one hand, scrawling something else with the other. ‘And you can read upside down. Gavin, if you feel comfortable, I’d like you to tell me why you think you’re here.’

Gavin’s face scrunched in confusion. ‘Because I’m hurt? And it’s a hospital?’

The man nodded. ‘Yes, but how did you get hurt?’

The lines in Gavin’s face smoothed out in realisation. ‘Oh. I see. Look, I know what you think, and I know how this must look, but you have to believe me that it was an accident, and-’

‘Mr Ramsey has told us that this is a common occurrence.’

Gavin froze. ‘W-what? A common occurrence? No, no no _no_ that’s not true it’s only happened a few times before-’

‘So it has happened more than once?’ the man interrupted. Gavin looked lost.

‘Well, yes, but-’

‘So you freely admit that it wasn’t an accident.’

Frustration etched itself into Gavin’s features. ‘Look, I-’

‘There are many treatments available for depression and self-harm, Mr Free. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and I’m sure it would provide your friends and family with a large degree of relief to hear that you’re coming to terms with everything, and getting treated.’ The man said, and pushed his glasses up his nose.

‘What?!’ Gavin spluttered. ‘I’m not depressed!’

The man peered at him. ‘So, if you’ll help me understand…’ he trailed off, and waited for Gavin to nod slowly before continuing. ‘From what I have been told and what I have pieced together… You are mentally sound and free from ailments such as depressions or disorders such as self-harm.’ Gavin nodded again, looking slightly relieved.

‘But, there comes a time once in a blue moon, as Mr Ramsey put it, that you have a bad day.’ Bad day was an understatement, but Gavin let him continue. ‘And over the course of these ‘bad days’ you find yourself having no control over your mind and body, and subsequently cause yourself damage-’

‘No, wait, I don’t “lose control” or anything, I just can’t always set my mind back on track! You’re making it sound like I’m insane and I go all Hulk out, but I’ve never hurt anyone!’ Gavin defended.

‘So you consciously decide to hurt yourself to a degree that requires hospitalisation?’ the man asked.

Gavin threw his head back with a groan and winced when his bandaged shoulders hit the pillows. They weren’t as bad as everyone had first assumed, and they wouldn’t scar terribly, but would require ointment applied daily and he would have to wear bandages for the next two days. Apart from that, and the few stitches he received, he was fine and ready to venture back out into the real world.

Which he would have done already, if the hospital didn’t demand he see a counsellor to make sure he wasn’t suicidal. He’d agreed easily, assuming he’d pass and be out in no time. Unfortunately, that didn’t appear to be the case.

‘Yes. No! It’s not like that! It’s just a way to get my mind off… well, off of my mind! I didn’t intend for it to get so bad.’ Gavin defended helplessly. He was confused, and if he was being honest he had no idea how to describe it without making sounding insane or contradictory. The counsellor was doing an excellent job at pointing that out.

 _At least he’s good for something_.

‘Mr Free, I think you would find it in your best interests to set up a recurring session with a psychiatrist, and join some of the many available treatments for self-harm, at the least. I would also readily supply you with the information for many different courses to do with dealing with depression and anger issues.’ The counsellor said simply.

‘Anger issues!’ Gavin cried. ‘This is bleeding ridiculous! And I _don’t_ self-harm!’

‘You freely admitted to causing yourself intentional pain to distract yourself from emotional turmoil. If there is another way to describe self-harm, Mr Free, I’d love to hear it.’ The sarcasm was almost palpable.

 _Cocky prick,_ Gavin thought. _Bet he thinks the sun shines out his ass._

‘I didn’t mean to actually cause damage.’ Gavin said through his teeth.

‘That is another unfortunate symptom of a lot of self-harmers. In that case, it is definitely for the best if you look into treatments and psychiatrists, before it gets out of hand.’ The man replied, the epitome of professionalism again.

‘Look, if I agree to go to your stupid psychiatrist sessions, will you tell them I’m mentally stable and whatever and get me out of here?’ Gavin demanded.

‘I’m not entirely sure if you _are_ mentally prepared to return. However, _if_ you agree to attend these  psychiatry sessions, then I see no reason to hold you.’ He replied.

‘Right. Great. I’ll set them up when I get home, then?’ Gavin said hopefully.

The man made no attempt to hide his look of disbelief. ‘That’s… not going to happen. I’ll organise the meetings.’ Gavin looked defeated.

‘Damn it. Fine. Can you go tell them we’re done now?’ he asked, all attempts at being polite dismissed.

‘If that’s all, then yes. Are you sure I can’t I interest you in other courses…?’

‘Yes I’m bloody sure! Come on!’ Gavin yelled, and the man looked affronted, but left without another word, closing the door gently behind him. There was a moment of silence before the door banged open and Michael, Geoff and Ray all tumbled in.

‘Finally!’ Michael complained loudly. ‘That took ten fucking years!’

‘Tell me about it.’ Gavin mumbled.

‘So, what’s the news buddy?’ Geoff asked, and sat on the side of the bed. Gavin shrugged.

‘Not entirely sure, but they said as long as I go to these bloody counselling sessions then I’m free to go.’ He didn’t sound as enthusiastic at the news as they’d hoped.

‘Sounds shit, bro.’ Ray said sympathetically. Gavin grimaced.

‘So, I’ll talk to the doctors and shit, get your release forms and… whatever else you need, I don’t fuckin’ know.’ Geoff said, and made his way out the door.

Michael dropped himself on the bed. ‘Soooo. How you feeling?’ he asked. Gavin did a lazy, one shouldered shrug. Michael pursed his lips.

‘Well, at least you’ll be free soon.’ Ray said optimistically, and it was supported by the return of Geoff, brandishing a wad of paperwork less than enthusiastically.

‘Yay me. I’m apparently your owner now.’ He said grumpily. Gavin snickered. ‘Thanks Dad.’ He laughed, and Geoff snorted. ‘Not that old.’ He defended himself, and started flicking through the paperwork.

‘That was surprisingly quick?’ Michael stated, but the end of his sentence tilted up into a question.

‘Yeah, I fucking thought so. I was like what the hell? But apparently your “oh so supportive” counsellor had a bit of a bad word with the nurse about Gav’s impatience on the way out, and she got everything ready pronto.’ He paused. ‘Which I think was the opposite of what he wanted. I think he scared her.’ He laughed, and Ray laughed too.

‘What a dick. Well, get to it, signy signy!’ Ray commanded, drawing little scrawling imitations in the air with his hands. Geoff immediately stopped and raised an eyebrow at him. ‘I mean… sign away, good sir, all in good time! Whenever you’re ready.’ he tried to cover, coughing weakly.

‘How long do you reckon it’ll take?’ Michael asked as soon as Geoff picked the pen back up, and he put it back down in frustration.

‘With you two dick-knobs annoying the fuck out of me? Fucking forever. Don’t you have less fortunate people to annoy?’

Ray tilted his head thoughtfully. ‘Well honestly, my schedule was still full up with annoying you…’ At Geoff’s less than amused (but still amused) glare, he held his hands out in surrender. ‘Joking! Me and Mogar over here have a tonne of editing to do, so…’ he stood and stretched.

‘We do?’ Michael asked sceptically. Ray glared at him.

‘Yeah. We do.’ He repeated, and Michael eyed him for a moment before he shrugged.

‘Whatever. Well since we apparently have all this editing to do, I guess we better roll.’ He too stood, and made his way hesitantly to Gavin’s bedside.

‘Um, stay alive, I guess.’ he said, and Gavin snorted.

‘Stay alive.’ He repeated to himself, laughing. Michael narrowed his eyes.

‘What do you want me to say? Fair thee well, sweet maiden? I’m not giving you some romantic fucking goodbye speech!’ Michael yelled.

Gavin snorted again, trying to reign his laughter in. ‘Yeah, but Mi-cool… “Stay alive”? That’s terrible!’ Michael tried to stay angry but he couldn’t, and eventually he started laughing too. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Geoff chuckle, still engrossed in the paperwork, and he grinned.

‘Fucking idiot.’ He said fondly, and touched Gavin’s hand briefly before he left. He was feeling a lot better about the situation, but that wasn’t taking into account his still less than perfect physical state.

Regardless of the how uncomfortable the tiny space may have been, it had been emotionally peaceful, and maybe the snuggling up to Gavin hadn’t been so bad. Regardless, he was yet again feeling the effects of his body craving and crashing. However, he didn’t feel like getting dragged into his own melancholy thoughts, so he bumped shoulders with Ray and they left, just in time to hear Gavin and Geoff burst into a horribly out of key rendition of ‘Staying Alive’, and he muffled his laughter as it echoed loudly down the halls.

Ray cleared this throat as soon as they were out of hearing distance. ‘Well, if it makes you feel better, you’re past… well, passing the worst of it. Like, now. You probably slept through most of it.’ He said optimistically.

‘Joy.’ Michael said drily, and they made their way outside. They both paused, taking in the soaked ground slowly being heated by the sun courageously trying to shine through the dense cloud cover.

‘It’s pretty, but I like the storm better.’ Ray said. Michael glanced at him.

‘Yeah, you’re fucking weird. Why don’t you marry them if you love them so much.’

Ray laughed. ‘Unfortunately, that’s not quite legal yet.’

‘Yet? What are they fuckin’ workin’ on it?’ Michael asked, a bubble of laughter escaping his lips.

‘Yeah, it’s set to happen round about when they make Dan into the new Black Ops character.’ Ray replied, but then his grin faded, and he turned to face Michael.

‘Look, Michael… I know you’re great at putting on a front, and you might not have had all the attention to spare to it right now, and I hate to bring it up…’ Ray listed. ‘But honestly I needed to ask you this.’ He hesitated. Michael wanted to demand he get it over with, but at the same time he didn’t want to know.

Eventually, his impatience won out, and an annoyed ‘What?’ escaped him.

‘Do you have any more at your house?’ he asked.

Michael paused. His mind instantly flashed to the powder hidden behind the razors in his cabinet, and his first impulse was to lie. But, he thought, was it worth the absolutely horrific after effects? Was it worth going through this again, and possibly dying?

Absolutely not. He had to get rid of it.

‘No, I don’t.’ he heard himself say, and a rational part of his mind screamed for him to stop. ‘I um- I only had the two needles.’ He lied, casually scratching his unruly hair.

Ray watched him closely. ‘Really?’ he asked, his voice flat. Michael panicked.

‘Honestly, that’s all! Just the two needles.’ He rushed to cover up, and winced at the way his voice raised an octave. He knew Ray heard it too when he leaned back triumphantly.

‘Nice try. Don’t worry, even if I had believed you I would have made sure anyway.’ He said, and they got in the car.

Michael remained there for a moment, undecided. The dignity he’d undoubtedly lose trying to convince Ray of his innocence wouldn’t be worth the effort. Ray knew, and Michael knew Ray knew.

‘Fuck!’ he swore loudly. Ray leaned across the seat and peered at him through the window.

‘You getting in, or?’ he asked cheekily, and cheered when Michael wrenched the door open and threw himself inside.

‘Excellent. To your house we go.’ Ray decreed and off they went.

‘Why the fuck are you doing this, Ray?’ Michael asked. Ray looked confused.

‘What do you mean why am I doing it?’ Ray repeated, confused. ‘Wouldn’t you try and help-’ he started, but Michael interrupted.

‘No, of course I fucking would. But why are you doing this by yourself?’ he demanded.

Ray looked thrown. ‘Well, I don’t know, I just thought-’

‘Thought what? You think you’re magically going to cure me of an addiction? Shower me with love and support and assume I’m not gunna lie to your face every opportunity? What’s stopping me right now from going out and getting more?’ Each question felt like the crack of a whip to Ray, and the insecurities and unsureness of it danced across his face.

‘What is stopping you?’ he asked quietly, and it almost went unheard by Michael.

‘You are! The fact I’m in a fucking car with you!’ he cried.

Ray shook his head. ‘No, not true. I don’t believe you.’

‘Well you should.’ Michael said.

Ray shook his head again, even more expressively, as if the power in his actions could force the truth into his words. ‘No, I don’t believe you. You know why?’ he asked, pulling the car over.

‘Why.’ Michael asked flatly.

‘Because you’re better than that. Because I know you’re too worried sick about Gavin to focus on getting another hit.’ Michael opened his mouth to interrupt, but Ray barrelled on. ‘Because if you wanted some that bad, you’d be getting out of the car right now and running for it.’ Michael blinked. ‘Because if you go right now, and get another hit as soon as my back is turned…’ he trailed off, unwilling to say what he thought.

‘No, come on. Tell me.’ Michael spat. Ray averted his eyes.

‘Because I’m doing a lot to help you, and if you betray me like that-’ Michael bared his teeth.

‘Betray you? This isn’t some soap opera, you don’t-’

‘No, this isn’t a fucking soap opera!’ Ray burst out. ‘You don’t get to live without the consequences of your fucking actions, Michael! You do drugs you’ll get addicted. You do too much you’ll overdose! You keep it a secret and you hurt your friends, and I whole heartedly fucking hope that you’re not too deep in the throes of addiction to willingly, _consciously_ , because this isn’t instant availability with no thinking it through, this is a _conscious decision,_ no more excuses… If you decide now, after all of that, then I don’t want to help you anymore.’ He stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath.

‘I’d do a lot for you Michael, I hope I’ve proved that. But I’m not going to try and help you when you don’t want to help myself. I spent way too long doing that, why do I have to do it again now?’ The words were soft spoken, filled with a certain amount of maudlin and self-pity, and Michael finally felt the wave of guilt and affection hit him.

He didn’t want to think about why it hadn’t hit him earlier, but the thought leeched in regardless, and it hit him hard that despite what Ray had done and was still ready to do, Michael was fully preparing himself to sneak off, lie more and generally backstab him to get another hit.

This realisation was followed hot on the heels by the realisation that Ray had been through this God knows how many times, and he probably knew every trick in the book.

Michael couldn’t fool him. He was only trying to fool himself.

The paradigm shift threw Michael, left him wordless as he tried to push through the emotions that came with it. It took a moment, but he shook it off (not literally, there’d been too much had movement lately and frankly it was starting to make him feel even worse) and tried to figure out something to say.

‘Ray-’ he started, but Ray cut him off with the wave of a hand.

‘Not hearing it. Just tell me one thing.’ Michael nodded.

‘Don’t lie to me. Please.’ Another pause. Another nod.

‘Good. Okay.’ Ray straightened up. ‘Operation Michael recovery is now in full effect. Or should I say Mogar?’ he asked. Michael looked up and responded with a grin that looked much braver than he felt.

‘Damn fucking right you should say Mogar, cause I’m gunna kick some ass.’ Ray looked back at him with a grin and he felt his own one strengthen, become more real. He thought about how he’d felt last night, and a flash of what felt like hope rushed through him. Maybe they would get through this unscathed.

The thought made him feel better, and he straightened in his seat and leaned over.

‘It’s Mogar, bitches!’ he yelled into the wind, and watched with happiness as the faces blurred by.

 

\---

Back in the hospital, Geoff had just about finished up the paperwork. ‘This is probably the quietest I’ve ever seen you.’ He joked, but they both knew that wasn’t quite true.

‘I just wanna get out of here.’ Gavin admitted. He’d grown uncomfortable with the natural positions the bed offered and slid sideways, so he was hanging partly off the bed and upside down, facing Geoff.

‘Don’t blame ya. I’m itching for it too.’ Geoff agreed.

‘Man, I’d _love_ some tea. The proper stuff, not the weak excuses you Americans have instead. Oh, and some carrot cake. I’d kill for some carrot cake.’ Gavin said dreamily.

‘Poor baby.’ Geoff teased. ‘Want me to give you a foot massage while I’m at it?’

Gavin sat up straight. ‘Gee, Geoff, would you? Because I’d love that.’ He said seriously.

Geoff snorted. ‘Idiot.’ He said, swatting Gavin’s head with the bundle of paperwork. ‘Now shut up and let me finish, I have like one fucking page left.’ Gavin grinned and slumped back down.

There was silence.

‘Ooh, do you think I’d be able to con Jack into taking some of my editing for me?’ Gavin asked excitedly. Geoff sighed dramatically, but secretly he smiled. It was good to have him back.

‘Well you _could_ have, but then you just told me your plan.’ Geoff said, and filled in a few more boxes.

‘Aw, Geoff! I’m injured.’ Gavin pouted. This was the first time he’d ever willingly spoken about his injuries, and Geoff wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad. ‘I need assistance, right? I’m feeble.’

‘Feeble my ass. If you’re strong enough to annoy the shit out of me, you’re strong enough to sit your ass in a chair and edit Let’s Play’s.’ Geoff retorted, and his eyes lit up excitedly when he spied the last line. He signed it with a flourish and held the bundle up triumphantly.

‘Done.’ He declared proudly.

‘Yay, Geoffy!’ Gavin cheered.

‘Shut up Gavin. No-one asked you.’ Geoff mumbled, but he flashed a grin.

‘Who else would you be talking too, you dingus?’ Gavin asked, but he went ignored as Geoff left in aim to hunt someone down to palm the paperwork off too.

He ended up waiting for a while, and he was bored out of his mind by the time Geoff returned, looking sheepish.

‘Missed a page.’ He murmured. Gavin glared playfully at him, before he spied the doctor entering behind him.

‘Yay!’ he started, but his celebrations were cut short when he spied the contraption being wheeled in behind them. 'No.' He stated simply, and Geoff rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

‘I told ‘em no, but they said it’s hospital procedure.’

‘What am I, a pregnant mother? I burnt my back, not my legs. I’m not incapable of walking!’ Gavin cried.

‘I said that.’ Geoff shrugged. The doctor looked distinctly unimpressed.

‘There is _no way_ I’m exiting in that.’ Gavin said stubbornly.

Geoff almost smiled. ‘I said that, too.’

‘I’m afraid it is hospital policy, so you’ll have to bear it.’ The doctor said, not unkindly.

‘I’m not getting in that.’ Gavin repeated, seething.

‘I’ll deal with this.’ Geoff told the doctor. He looked understandably sceptical, but when Geoff looked him straight in the eyes he conceded with a sigh and left.

‘I’m not getting in it!’  Gavin stated again.

Geoff tried one more time to get him to co-operate. ‘If you’d just-’

‘No!’ Gavin all but screeched. Geoff backed off.

‘Fine! I don’t know what your aversion to them is, you happily paraded round the office in Chris’s when he had one for a while.’ Geoff said, but he gave up regardless.

‘Alright. Get out of bed, come on.’ He said, and tugged at Gavin’s arm.

‘I’m getting up! Jesus, why are you grabbing onto me, I’m not gunna fall.’ Gavin said, and it was then he realised his folly. Geoff reacted faster than he did, and quickly lifted the Brit off the bed and dumped him in the chair in one fell swoop. Gavin screeched as he hit the chair and tried to climb back out, but Geoff’s hands kept him pinned.

Quickly deciding on a plan, Geoff repositioned himself so he was holding Gavin down sufficiently and was also able to awkwardly manoeuvre the wheelchair. He wheeled them out the door, almost tipping them both, and started off down the hall. They quickly built up speed, running as fast as he could in the precarious position and shouting out warnings to the few people ahead.

‘Sorry, sorry! Coming through!’ he yelled as he barrelled past the shocked faces surrounding them. Gavin had stopped struggling and was laughing now, the sight of Geoff running full force, half bent over to keep him trapped in the chair proving too difficult to keep a straight face for.

He felt tears streaming down his face as they eventually burst out the front doors, the offended shouts of surprised passer-by’s ringing in his ears.

‘You… went to all that trouble…’ he got out between laughs.

Geoff too was laughing, bent double again but this time for a different reason, holding his stomach as he gasped for air that the exhausting run and the fit of laughter had stolen.

Eventually they composed themselves enough to straighten, abandoning the wheelchair in favour of walking the last few steps to the car.

The car ride home was held in high spirits, as Geoff relived the look of happiness on the Brit’s face and Gavin kept himself amused with his iPhone games. When they arrived at the Ramsey’s place of residence Gavin was greeted by a huge hug from Griffon, which turned into a group hug when Geoff barged in and collapsed them all on the floor laughing (and maybe a tiny bit of crying).

Gavin  hugged them with shaking hands. He didn’t know why he was this lucky, but this was his family, and he loved them. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have part two of this drunken shenanigans chapter coming up tomorrow!  
> Sorry for the wait, had some life problems and shit, you know how it goes.
> 
> Read & review, yo

‘Lllllllet’s clean!’ Ray declared as they entered Michael’s place of residence. Michael followed him in, grumbling about ‘Rites of passage in his own fucking house’ and heading for the fridge.

‘Did my announcement go unheard? Because I can get a megaphone.’ Ray suggested, ducking around the corner where he’d began to head for the bathroom.

‘Not necessary. I’m just making this tolerable.’ Michael replied, dragging a six pack out from the depths of his fridge. Ray looked disappointed.

‘So no megaphone?’ he asked. Michael shrugged.

‘I don’t fucking care. Just don’t use it in my fucking house.’ He said, tearing one of the beers free and cracking it open. ‘Ahhh.’ He said dramatically when he took a long sip from it. Ray rolled his eyes.

‘Want me to get a room?’ he offered.

‘Want me to get a room?’ Michael mimicked, and took another swig from the can. ‘Alright, let’s do this shit.’ He said determinedly. ‘And then let’s get incredibly fucked up.’ He glanced at Ray. ‘Well, I’ll get incredibly fucked up. You can just stand idly by being lame.’

Draining the last dregs of the can, he reached for another. Ray just huffed. Ignoring that, Michael picked it up and started walking to the bathroom.

‘Two needles and a small baggie of powder.’ He said, and he knew Ray understood.

‘Where at?’ Ray asked, and Michael answered with no hesitation, earning a slight smile from Ray.

‘Good boy.’ He cooed encouragingly, and Michael hit him.

‘Fucking woof.’ He said sarcastically, and paused in front of the bathroom door. Ray furrowed his brow and went to speak when Michael held up a hand, rummaging in his pocket and retrieving his phone.

‘Text.’ He said happily and opened it with one hand, simultaneously opening the door with the other. ‘From Gavin!’ he cheered, and focused on replying as Ray went straight to the bathroom cabinet.

‘Should I be expecting a wedding invitation soon?’ Ray asked distractedly, extracting the bag of powder carefully and examining it. He opened it and sniffed it, pulling a face.

‘Nasty.’ He coughed. ‘I hate the smell of this shit.’ Michael laughed and tucked his phone away, walking over to Ray beside the sink.

‘See this, Michael?’ Ray asked, holding up the small bag. Michael peered around with a confused expression, reaching out blindly in front of him.

‘See what? I can’t see it! Ray, help!’ he cried, and Ray shoved him gently. Michael straightened. ‘Fucking idiot, of course I can. It’s a bag of drugs, Ray, oh no!’ he cried, raising his voice dramatically.

Ray huffed impatiently, but amusement shone in his eyes. ‘You’re the one that owns it.’ He rebuked.

‘You’re the one holding it, idiot. Possession is nine tenths of the law.’ Michael recited, and pushed his glasses up his nose snottily. Ray threw his hands up.

‘Fuckin’ YOLO. But seriously, this right here? It’s gone.’ And with this he reached over and went to tip it over the sink. He stopped and glanced at Michael. ‘Uh… you want to do the honours?’ he offered.

Michael glared at him. ‘That won’t fucking do anything.’ He said, but pushed him out of the way and took the bag anyway. ‘Here we go, polluting the water supply.’ He gently tipped the small amount of powder into the sink and turned the tap on, watching it go swirling down the drain.

He wasn’t sad to see it go.

‘Some poor child is gunna drink this water.’ He said, and took another drink from his can. Ray snorted loudly.

‘What, the sewer water?’ he asked, laughing at the ridiculous image.

Michael realised his blunder. ‘Yeah, like… some homeless person.’ He played it off. This only caused Ray to laugh harder.

‘Then they’d be thanking us right? Free drugs!’ he said, and Michael looked shocked.

‘Ray! That’s incredibly offensive!’ he clutched his chest dramatically. ‘It’s a very sensitive issue.’ He said seriously. Ray nodded, looking solemn.

‘Indeed it is. Doesn’t stop assholes like us from cracking jokes though, right?’

Michael held his can up in agreement and took a long pull. ‘You’re gunna make yourself sick with that.’ Ray pointed out. Michael shrugged before realising something.

‘Is all this,’ he gestured to himself ‘part of the reason why you never drink or… you know, anything?’ Ray shrugged noncommittally, but after Michael glared at him he nodded.

‘Yeah, I guess.’ He admitted, and Michael let it go.

‘What happened to Yolo?’ he asked, looking mockingly worried, and Ray laughed.

‘How you feeling?’ he asked, changing the subject, and Michael turned to him in exasperation.

‘That’s about the millionth time you’ve asked me that.’ He said, crumpling his can as he finished it.

‘It’s like the third.’ Ray said. ‘And if I don’t ask you’d probably bottle it all up and explode or something.’

‘Yes Ray, I’m going to explode.’ Michael looked unimpressed.

‘You think you know a guy.’ Ray shrugged.

‘What, you think you know a guy and then they fucking explode? I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon, I don’t know who the fuck you’ve been hanging out with.’ Michael replied, resisting the urge to laugh.

‘Happens all the time in countries like-’ Ray was cut off by the can bouncing off his skull, leaving him looking shocked. Michael smirked at the expression.

‘That’s for being racist.’ He said, and they exited the bathroom, making a beeline for the kitchen.

‘I didn’t even get to say it yet.’ Ray said sadly. ‘Besides, I’m Puerto Rican, I do what I want.’ He delivered the last line in a sassy voice, clicking his fingers in a Z formation.

‘Shut the hell up.’ Michael responded, checking his phone again.

‘So who’s taking whose last name?’ Ray asked seriously, and dodged the magazine thrown half-heartedly in his direction. ‘Ninja skills!’ he declared, and began making kung fu noises as Michael put the phone to his ear.

‘Gavvy!’ he cried. ‘Come over for- Yeah, exactly. Well no, not exactly, because it’s not sunny, but- Yeah, but- No, it’s not swimmy either! Fine, fine. Whatever, stormy inside bevs.’ A pause. He began making a weird high pitched noise Ray recognised from their Let’s Play’s.

Another pause. Michael rolled his eyes. ‘Of course. That’s why we have Ray!’ he sung, slinging an arm around Ray’s shoulders.

‘What? What’s why you have Ray? You talkin’ shit?’ Ray asked, shrugging Michael’s arm off and resuming his previous kung fu pose, making more obnoxious noises.

‘We’re coming, stop being such an impatient little shit.’ Michael said to Gavin, and grabbed his keys, wallet and the pack of leftover beer. ‘Of course.’ He scoffed in response to whatever Gavin said. ‘Anyway, we’re on our way, I’ll- Yes, I know it’s dangerous to drive and talk at the same time but we’re not _literally_ on our way, and I wouldn’t even be driving- I didn’t lie! I just-‘ he cut off with a groan of frustration, slamming the apartment door behind him after dragging Ray out.

‘Shut up, Gavin. We’re coming. Yep. You’re my boi, Gavin!’ and with that he hung up, throwing the phone on the seat next to him. ‘Remind me again why I invited him over?’ he asked exasperatedly.

‘I didn’t even know we were having a drinking night.’ Ray replied as he pulled out of the driveway.

‘Well Ray, _we’re_ not having one, it would have just been me. And that’s incredibly depressing.’ Michael said seriously, clutching onto his remaining three beers as he pulled another from the pack. ‘Ergo, I invited Gavin the fuck over so we can all have a wonderful time.’

‘Whatever man, I’m up for an impromptu drink night.’ Ray shrugged. ‘As long as-’

‘Yeah yeah, as long as we don’t try and make you drink again.’ Michael dismissed, before he narrowed his eyes in consideration. ‘I really am sorry about that, though. I didn’t really think about it at the time, it just seemed fun…’ he trailed off awkwardly.

‘The allocated apology time frame has closed, please try again later.’ Ray replied in a flat tone, and Michael rolled his eyes.

‘Asshole.’ He chuckled when he saw the corners of Ray’s mouth quirk up in a smile. There were a few moments of silence, broken only by the crinkling of the can as Michael got a bit too enthusiastic holding it, until he grew bored of the silence.

‘Are we there yet?’ he whined, and Ray laughed.

‘Nope! Forever to go.’ He said happily, and Michael slumped dramatically.

‘Wake me up when we get there.’ He ordered, and closed his eyes. Ray took this opportunity to burst into a version of ‘Wake me up when September ends’ which probably ended up sounding a lot better than he intended, but Michael realised something and shot back up. ‘Ray, you’re a total life saver.’ He said, and fumbled around in the glove box.

‘I know.’ Ray nodded. A pause. ‘Why?’

‘Because…’ Michael pulled an item out of the glove box but it slipped from his grip, and it took him a few moments of fumbling around on the floor before he found it again and held it up triumphantly.

‘The dramatic effect was ruined.’ Ray shrugged.

‘Don’t need no dramatic effects!’ boasted Michael, and opened the CD case. ‘Which song…’ he mused to himself. ‘Ray, pick a song!’ he commanded.

Ray glanced over but his attention was quickly drawn back to the road. ‘What you got?’ he asked, rounding a corner and causing the beers to slide of Michaels lap.

‘Oh, dude, I got songs for _days_! I got Blink 182, Pink Floyd, Paper Lace, Guns N Roses, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, take your pick!’ he boasted.

‘Which band is that CD?’ he asked. Michael looked confused.

‘Oh.’ He chuckled. ‘It’s a mix tape.’ he mumbled sheepishly.

‘Thanks, asshole.’ Ray snickered. ‘Go to song number…’ Ray drew it out, holding the last word until Michael glared at him with an impatient expression.

‘Sometime today would be nice, Ray.’ He muttered. Ray grinned and stopped when he ran out of breath, before drawing in a deep breath to do it again.

‘Fuck you, I’ll pick it myself.’ Michael glared and slid the disc in.

‘Twelve!’ Ray shot in.

‘Hmm… number thirteen.’ Michael decided out loud, glancing sideways to see the mock offended look on Ray’s face. Michael turned to him suspiciously when the offended look morphed into glee.

‘Number fuckin nothing because we’re here!’ Ray crowed, pulling into Geoff’s driveway. Michael chugged the rest of the beer and tossed the empty can into his car. At Ray’s raised eyebrow he raised his own. ‘What? I’m a bachelor and proud.’

Ray laughed. ‘Repping the bachelor life?’ he asked, and they knocked on the door.

‘Dude, you fucking know it.’ Michael agreed, and opened the door to a questioning Griffon.

‘Yo, we’re here for Gavin..?’ he asked after they all greeted each other. She tilted her head back and laughed.

‘Well you’re shit out of luck, he’s at the office with Geoff.’ She said, smiling.

‘But didn’t he just get home like, a few hours ago?’ Michael asked. She nodded.

‘Yeah, but he wanted to go pick a few things up. They’ve been gone about’ she glanced behind her at the clock in the hallway. ‘Forty five minutes, so they probably got distracted doing something, as they do.’ She smiled knowingly.

Michael and Ray nodded. ‘Fucking idiot, Gavin told me to come get him here.’ Michael grumbled.

‘Did he actually say from home?’ Griffon asked, and Michael avoided her gaze.

‘Well maybe not, but he didn’t specify he’d be at the office.’ He grumped, suddenly fascinated by the ground. Griffon laughed and pushed his shoulder.

‘Go get him. Enjoy your night boys.’ She winked and waved them off.

Michael dropped himself into the seat and grabbed the next beer out. ‘Man, Geoff is lucky to have someone like her.’ He said, and Ray nodded in agreement. Michael was just about to pop the tab on his beer when Ray stopped him.

‘Ten bucks if you can chug both those in the time it takes to get to the office.’ He challenged, and Michael agreed immediately.

‘I love earning free money.’ He said cockily, and Ray said nothing. His plan became abundantly clear when they arrived at the office in record time, having barely avoided running two red lights, and Michael had just finished the second can.

He crumpled it, satisfaction oozing from his entire being, and Ray rolled his eyes. ‘Small things amuse small minds.’ He directed towards Michael, who looked befuddled for a moment.

‘Hey! You’re implying I have a small mind, which I do not. It’s not my fault you can’t make good bets.’ He replied, and they entered the headquarters.

‘Good English.’ Ray said. ‘I’m Puerto Rican and I can speak better English than you.’

Michael shrugged. ‘There’s more than one type of smart, Ray.’ He said, and ignored Ray’s jab of ‘Oh wise Michael, teach me your ways.’

‘I may not be book smart, or street smart, but I’m people smart.’ He said as they entered the offices.

‘People smart? You couldn’t read someone to save your life!’ Ray cried, opening the door to the Let’s Play room. Michael was in the middle of disagreeing when he was greeted by an armful of Gavin.

‘Michael! You finally came. Look, Geoff’s showing me this really cool thing!’ he declared excitedly, leading them over to where Geoff was doing something that did, in fact, look really cool.

Michael’s attention was diverted from the screen by Ray, who mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like ‘Just _so_ good at reading people, blind asshole.’

‘What’d you say ‘bout me?’ he demanded, words slurring slightly. Ray looked up, the picture of innocence.

‘What?’ he asked, and smiled. Michael glared suspiciously at him before turning back around, losing his balance momentarily.

‘I’ve got my eye on you.’ He warned, but it didn’t sound quite so cool when Ray just snickered at it. He was contemplating threatening him when he came to a great realisation. ‘I’ll be back!’ he sung, holding up a finger as he backed out of the room and headed for the kitchen, and more specifically, the mini fridge.

‘Hell yes. Hell, _hell_ yes.’ He muttered in victory as he withdrew a four pack of Jim Beam. He walked into the door before he realised it had been closed, so he backed up a step, opened the door, and walked through.

‘Guess who stepped in the room!’ he cried and everyone turned to him. He held the Jim Beam out in front of him and wiggled his eyebrows.

‘Hey asshole, those are mine!’ yelled Geoff, but he made no move to retrieve them.

‘Sharing is caring, Geoff.’ Michael frowned and pulled one free, popping the tab and drinking as much as he could in one breath before setting it down next to him. Gavin giggled and sidled past him, examining the pack and choosing one with great care.

‘Are you having a hen’s night?’ asked Ryan, who was situated at Jack’s computer, fixing something. Jack, in turn was in Michael’s seat, having pulled it up behind Ryan so he could observe what was going on.

‘Ha Ha Ha- _larious._ ’ Michael said sardonically and sat himself in Gavin’s seat. ‘No, we’re having a… what was it? A stormy inside bevs.’ He nodded to himself and smiled.

‘For someone who had a lot of editing to catch up on, you’re sure wasting a lot of time.’ Geoff said, raising an eyebrow. At the same time he reached out, and Gavin immediately handed him his unopened can, grabbing another..

'Dude you got him traaained, he's like your slave!' Michael pointed out, and Gavin realised what he meant and giggled.

‘We’ll catch up later.’ dismissed Ray, ignoring Michael's outburst. ‘Until then, it’s going to be a fun night. Do you know what those are, Geoff? Fun? You remember that?’ he teased, and Geoff swatted him away.

‘Knock it off, asshole, I’m fucking fun.’ He defended, and Ray laughed.

‘Yeah, we know.’ He agreed easily. His attention was captured by Michael making a psst noise to Gavin, and motioning him over. ‘Hey guys! What are youse doing? Whatcha doing guys? Why are you being all quiet, is something secret happening? Guys?’ he asked loudly, successfully drawing all the attention in the office to them. Michael glared at him while Gavin laughed.

‘If you _must_ know,’ drawled Michael, ‘I was betting him that I could outdrink everyone in this room except Geoff.’

‘We know that though.’ Ray said, ignoring the outraged cries by Jack.

‘But we’ve never had a competition!’ Michael argued. ‘We’ve just drunk at different paces and kind of guessed.’

Ray nodded in agreement. ‘That’s true…’ he glanced around the room.

‘I, for one, think that’s bullshit, but I’m not taking part in your little competition.’ Jack said, and spun back around in his chair. ‘Outdrinking us, total horseshit.’ He muttered. Ryan laughed.

‘It isn’t that likely.’ He agreed, and put his attention back into what he was fixing. Michael looked offended.

‘Right.’ He coughed. He turned to Gavin. ‘They’re only saying that because they’re too afraid to go up against the mighty Mogar.’ He whispered conspiratorially. Gavin nodded excitedly.

‘We can hear you assholes.’ Jack replied, not looking away from whatever Ryan was doing.

‘They’re only saying that because they can hear us.’ Michael whispered behind his hand, and collapsed into giggles. Gavin followed suit and turned to Ray, trying to gain some control over his laughter.

‘How drunk is he?’ he asked, and Ray’s nose wrinkled as he considered.

‘Just a six pack and that can.’ He answered, and Gavin’s face lit up.

‘You know what that means, Ray?’ he asked excitedly, and Ray laughed.

‘Oh boy. What?’

‘It means,’ Gavin took a sip from his own can, ‘that tonight is _serious bevs night_.’

‘Oh.’ Ray nodded. ‘What the hell does that mean?’ he asked. Michael chose that moment to butt back into the conversation, pushing Gavin to the side and presenting himself dramatically as he sloshed his can around.

‘It means that tonight, the real men will drink until they can drink no more.’ He declared. At this, Jack spun back around in his chair.

‘It’s not we’re afraid you can out drink us, it’s more that we have actual lives and families to go home to.’ He said.

Michael looked as if he’d expected them to say exactly that. ‘See Gavvers, that means their wives have forbidden them from doing fun things, like drinking with us.’

‘Actually…’ came a voice from behind Jack. ‘We’re grown ass men, we can do whatever the hell we want.’ They looked in surprise at Ryan, who’d finished his work and spun back around to face them. ‘And I personally don’t have my kid _or_ wife at home tonight, so I will take you up on this challenge.’

Michael cheered, Gavin joined in, and Ray did too just for the hell of it. ‘So it’s decided! A man’s night!’ he celebrated by taking a long pull of his drink, nearly draining it.

‘Well, except Jack…’ Ray said, and they turned to Jack in unison. He threw his hands up in surrender.

‘Whatever! I’m in.’ he said, not to be outdone by Ryan, who looked at him innocently.

‘Yay!’ cried Gavin, and he turned to Geoff, who’d been uncharacteristically silent until then. ‘Geoff-’ he begin to ask, but was interrupted by Geoff standing up.

‘Way ahead of you buddy.' He said, and pulled out his phone to ring Griffon. ‘Now shut the fuck up and let me talk.’ There was a silence as they watched Geoff apprehensively, and when he looked back up he looked put out. ‘What the fuck are you all looking at me for? Go! Do stuff!’ he waved them off and spun around in his chair.

‘This is gunna be so much fun.’ Gavin whispered excitedly.

‘Is it gunna be “Tippy Toppers”, Gavin?’ Michael chortled, and shushed Gavin’s response to overheard Geoff’s conversation.

‘What’s that? We’re kicking Gavin out? And you hate all the guys but me? Aww, Griff, you know how to make me smile.’ Geoff said, nodding seriously. He spun partly back to face them and smiled smugly, earning a few indignant cries. He spun back around again, stopping himself by catching his foot on the desk. ‘Really? Aw, sweet! Yeah, nah that’s cool. Yep.’

At this, Michael zoned out of the conversation and paid more attention to the face leaning over his shoulder in attempt to overhear Geoff’s conversation. With about two day stubble, eyes comically wide as he strained to hear and his big nose sticking out, Michael felt a rush of affection for the Brit, which soon spread to everyone in the room.

He loved his job, and he loved his life. He had absolutely no reason to fuck it up with stupid decisions, and he hoped he stayed in this mindset forever. Really, he felt fantastic. The aches and pains that had plagued him nonstop over the course of the past day and a half were, for the most part, subsided, with the help of a lot of Tylenol and now, the beautifully numbing sensation of alcohol.

It was a good decision to get drunk, he decided. ‘Absolutely tippy top!’ he murmured subconsciously, and unintentionally mimicked Gavin’s stupid voice with his stupid accent. His stupid accent that lilted words so wonderfully, that so easily invaded his mind, washing over his thoughts like a cool breeze.

He was drawn out of his reverie by a gentle tugging on his arm. His gaze travelled up the familiar hand to the slim but still muscular shoulders, past the line of his shirt and landing on eyes beautifully blue.

Michael shook himself slightly. _Ha, Gay!_ he could just imagine Ray laughing at him. He raised an eyebrow questioningly at Gavin, hoping to pass himself off as slightly distracted instead of letting on that he was in a completely different mind space. ‘Yes?’ he asked.

Gavin snickered. ‘We’re going to Geoff’s.’

‘Unless you want to get left behind, I’m cool with that!’ shouted Geoff as he made his way out the door. ‘Oh shit, Gavin grab my drink!’ he yelled, hovering at the door until previously mentioned drink had been successfully delivered by previously mentioned Gavin.

‘Alright, sweet! Let’s roll, cocksuckers.’ Geoff decreed, and they all set off in the general direction of the car park. Gavin kept a light grip around Michaels wrist, tugging him along but helping balance him if he stumbled.

Which, Michael noted with pride, he did not. His celebration was short lived as Gavin deposited him at his car and left, heading for Geoff’s. Michael looked dejected for a moment before realising he was still tightly clutching the remaining Jim Beam unopened in his hand.

He admired it lovingly, the way the condensation dripped down the side, and he took a moment to appreciate the beauty of alcohol and its numbing ways. Not the taste though, fuck that. Bar a few choice drinks, he’d never liked the taste of alcohol. However, Jim Beam was certainly on the list of tolerable drinks, and was high up at that.

‘If you keep looking at it like that maybe it’ll love you back someday.’ Ray teased as he started the car. He tugged on his seatbelt and looked at Michael meaningfully, and he understood, mimicking Ray’s actions and buckling up.

‘Nah, I’m not a one drink man.’ Michael dismissed, sipping at his drink. He really needed to piss. ‘Got a bottle?’ he asked Ray distractedly.

‘Hmm?’ Ray questioned, keeping one eye on the road. Michael gestured obscenely to his crotch, lifting it slightly off the seat to complete the movement. It took a moment for his meaning to sink in.

‘A bottle- What? No!’ Ray couldn’t help but see the humour in it, but stood firmly to his decision. ‘You can hold it in. Jesus.’

‘Easy for you to say, you’re not me. You don’t-’ He hiccupped slightly ‘see things from my way. From my perspective.’ He said, leaning his head back.

‘Dude, you’re so deep I can’t see you anymore.’ Ray snorted, but then paused, looking thoughtful. ‘I guess there are a lot of situations like that.’ He admitted, and Michael looked at him, confused and wary.

‘What?’ he said unintelligibly. Ray considered his words.

‘Well, the whole you and Gavin thing.’ He said casually, but peered at Michael out of the corner of his eye, gauging his reaction. Michael, for the most part, looked confused.

‘What me and Gavin thing?’ he asked.

Ray smirked. ‘Exactly.’ He seemed content to leave it like that, continuing to drive along behind Geoff and in front of Jack and Ryan in silence.

‘No, what-’ Michael struggled to sit fully up, can forgotten in his hands, ‘what are you talking about? I wanna know.’ He said, trying to convey his seriousness despite his _slightly_ drunken demeanour.

‘Don’t you think there’s some… underlying tension there, between you and him?’ Ray suggested, eyes on the road. Michael frowned and took a moment to reply, chewing over the words.

‘I guess? Um, I yell at him a lot.’ He said, and Ray looked confused.

‘What? No, I mean- Never mind. We’re almost there, and by almost I mean we are there, so hurry up.’ Ray said, efficiently ending the conversation. Michael mulled over his words as he unbuckled himself (only taking two tries) and stumbled out the door onto the grass where he could hear voices inside and the sound of someone’s car pulling up behind them.

He followed Ray’s lead to the steps and they knocked on the door again, and Michael rediscovered the can in his hand with glee, raising it to his lips and sucking it down greedily. When the door opened and Gavin stood there, Michael help up a hand and finished his can, crumpling it in his hand and smiling brightly.

Gavin just laughed delightedly and ushered them both inside, staying at the door to do the same for whoever had pulled up behind them. After going to close the door and realising that Jack was only a few seconds behind Ryan, he’d waited impatiently at the door until Jack had entered (noting Gavin’s impatience, at a leisurely pace; it was interesting watching the natural trait of impatience struggling to overcome the trained politeness) and once they were all safe and sound in Geoff’s house, the music came out, the barbeque fired up and everyone relaxed with their drinks.

Or they would of, if Geoff hadn’t demanded they go out on a run for more.

‘I’ll do it.’ Suggested Griffon, but her offer was shot down when Geoff pulled her smugly closer and looked meaningfully at Ray, Michael and Gavin.

‘I’d _love_ to let you babe, really, but since these assholes suggested it, and they’re draining my liquor supply, they can damn well replenish it. Everyone’s chipped in, so…’

And with that Ray had given up with a sigh, turned to Michael and Gavin and extended a hand towards each. It backfired completely when both men accepted the hands and yanked downwards, hauling Ray face first onto them. Geoff had taken it upon himself to grab a cushion, place it between himself and the pile on the couch and jump on them.

He landed squarely on Ray’s back and slid off onto Gavin, who squealed loudly. Griffon had laughed and placed herself delicately onto Geoff, crossing her ankles and resting her legs on Ray’s back, who remained trapped under Geoff.

Underneath him, Michael and Gavin were groaning pitifully, and that was the site Ryan and Jack had walked in on.

‘Make room for one more!’ joked Ryan, and Gavin’s scream was heard despite the muffling. Jack guffawed loudly and placed himself in the recently freed recliner.

‘I’ll just get on top here!’ Ryan continued loudly, and Gavin and Michael desperately tried to wriggle themselves free.

‘Have mercy!’ gasped Gavin. Jack kicked his feet up and continued to observe the scene in front of him before Griffon slid off with one final jab to Gavin’s ribs. Geoff was next up, taking his time to take his weight off Ray and Gavin. As soon as Ray was free Michael rolled inelegantly away and Gavin was last to rise, moaning pitifully about how they’d broken his fragile body.

There was a moment of unsureness as those in the know remembered his injuries, but he didn’t seem in any actual pain, so they breathed an unspoken sigh of relief and moved on. Not, of course, before Griffon smacked Geoff for good measure.

‘You did it too!’ he whined, and she just smacked him again.

‘Now, I believe you boys were fetching us drinks?’ she winked.

Gavin whined again. ‘But Griffon-’ he began, but was cut off by Ray flicking him in the side of the head. ‘Ow! What was that for?’

‘Shut it. Come on Team Mavin, llllllets go.’ He said, and dragged Michael in the direction of the cars, Gavin trailing obediently after.

‘That really hurt Ray, I think you’ve destroyed some brain cells.’ He complained pitifully as they arrived at the car.

‘You didn’t have any to begin with.’ Ray said happily, and opened the driver’s seat door.

‘Oh, Michael, let’s both sit in the back so we can play corners!’ Gavin said, excitement almost tangible, and Michael smiled. Why not, right?

‘Alright.’ He agreed easily.

‘But I have to be on the left side!’ Gavin yelled.

‘What?’ Michael asked.

‘I have to be.’ Gavin stated, nodding to himself.

‘No, I’m gunna be on that side.’ Michael decided, and Gavin looked shocked.

‘But I have to be!’ Gavin cried. ‘You don’t even want it, you just want it because I have it.’

Michael shrugged. ‘Too bad. My side.’ He said, slipping in the seat, avoiding Gavin’s face. He looked like a lost puppy.

‘Michael.’ Gavin said forlornly. Michael took one look at him and sighed, squidging over.

‘We can both have the seat.’ He decided, and Gavin perked up.

‘Yay!’ he cheered, easily placated, and squished in beside him. Michael caught Ray’s eyes in the rear view mirror, who looked amused.

‘When you two love birds are done?’ he asked, raising an eyebrow. Michael coughed, a red flush spreading up his cheeks, and moved into the middle seat. His knee pressed against Gavin’s leg and he could feel the warmth radiating from him.

‘We’re good!’ he declared, and Ray just rolled his eyes and off they went, pulling out of the driveway and narrowly avoiding Jack’s car, parked in a less that superior parking job.

Gavin rolled the window down and stuck his head out, sipping from a cowboy as they started to pick up speed. Michael clued in that they were going maybe a bit faster than perhaps they should, but he wasn’t worried. Ray was a good driver, regardless of his occasionally questionable decisions.

He glanced out the window, but his eye was caught by Gavin, who chose that moment to turn back around and face him. His eyes gleamed excitedly, his hair a wild mess from being whipped everywhere from the wind. The dark night pressed in behind him, and it only stood to make Gavin’s silhouette stand out, and the features of his face lit up every time they passed under a streetlamp.

Michaels gaze followed as Gavin’s tongue darted out unconsciously to wet his lips. His teeth scraped over his bottom lip as he bit it, eyes focused on Michael, who tore his gaze away from Gavin’s (very kissable) lips, and back to his eyes.

Michael didn’t understand when he’d gotten quite so _gay_ , but he’d be damned if the rush of affection he felt for the stupid Brit didn’t make his stomach twist and make him want to lean forward and capture Gavin’s bottom lip between his teeth, run his tongue over it until Gavin opened his mouth and-

He was drawn out of his daydream by Gavin chuckling, eyes crinkling adorably as he leaned forward and bumped his nose gently over Michaels. ‘Eskimo kiss, Michael.’ He said, and Michael pulled back, covering his rush of feelings with a laugh and a fondly muttered ‘Idiot.’

The moment played over and over in Michael’s mind as they pulled into the closest twenty-four liquor store. Ray parked and opened the door, stepping onto the ground and smiling as he took in the night air.

He turned, laughing as Michael wrenched Gavin’s door opened and climbed out over him, ignorant to Gavin’s cries.

‘Michael help! The seatbelt! It’s eating me!’ Ray heard, but Michael ignored him as he casually strolled over to Ray.

‘Evening my lady.’ He said, tipping an invisible hat. He gestured towards the liquor store. ‘Shall we?’ he asked, and Ray snorted.

‘Don’t waste your wooing on me, I’m indifferent to your pathetic romancing ways.’ He said disdainfully, sticking his nose up, smiling when Michael laughed. Gavin had apparently given up on getting Michael to save him, and was putting all his focus into undoing the belt.

‘I didn’t think he was that drunk.’ Ray said as they entered the store. Michael shrugged, strolling towards the vodka and peering carefully at the drink selection.

‘He’s not. That belt always sticks like a motherfucker.’ He said casually, and Ray laughed loudly.

‘So he’s legitimately stuck?’ he asked, taking the bottle Michael passed to him and admiring it.

‘Yep. It just needs a good whack.’ Michael said. ‘Not my fault if he can’t figure it out.’ Unable to disagree with that logic, Ray just hummed and plucked a bottle out of Michael’s hands, pulling a face. Michael noticed and whirled to face him.

‘I’m sorry, does my choice of alcohol offend your delicate senses?’ he demanded, and Ray nodded gravely. ‘But Ray, surely you know…’ he lifted a hand to tilt Ray’s chin, and Ray played along, lifting his chin and peering past Michael into the distance dramatically.

‘Surely you know I just don’t give a fuck.’ Michael continued, tugging Ray’s chin down to face him and leaning in. ‘I try my hardest, but I just can’t find one to give!’ he said solemnly, looking appropriately sorrowed. Ray sniffed loudly, closing his eyes and shaking his head minutely. He was about to respond when they were interrupted by an embarrassed Gavin behind them.

‘Um.’ He articulated. ‘Am I… um.’ He said again, waving his arms around slightly.

Michael did a double take when he realised the situation, a sly grin crossing his face. ‘Yeah actually, you are.’

Gavin went bright red. ‘Really?’ he squeaked. Ray and Michael nodded in tandem. Gavin just blinked at them. Eventually Ray took pity on him.

‘Yeah, thanks for interrupting our steamy make out sesh. It was just getting good.’ Ray pouted, pulling away from the positioning. He could see how Gavin could actually believe them, as they hadn’t been smiling or joking around with each other, like they normally did when they fucked around.

It had just been Michael, leaning in incredibly close to a closed eyed Ray, with his warm hand gently grasping Ray’s jaw and keeping him much closer than usual. It was pretty understandable, Ray surmised. He would have reacted the same.

‘Oh.’ coughed Gavin, realising his misconception. He started laughing. ‘I thought you were bloody about to make out!’ he cried, laughing harder and clutching the shelf next to him, much to the annoyance of the clerk.

He was still giggling when they exited the store, blissfully unaware of the glare being burned into his neck. ‘To home then?’ he asked, and Michael rolled his eyes.

‘Yeah, after we drop you at the pound.’ He replied, and Gavin pouted, turning to Ray.

‘See what I put up with?’ he asked, and Ray just stared at him.

‘You’re kidding me, right?’ Ray asked, and Gavin paused. He chuckled.

‘Duh. You all hate me equally, it’s okay.’ He said, and Ray suddenly felt uncomfortable, glancing at Michael who had apparently the noticed the same thing.

‘We don’t hate you.’ Ray replied quietly, and Michael glanced sharply at him.

‘Yes we do.’ He replied happily, nudging Gavin. Ray briefly thought of the fourth wall.

Gavin turned away, an indescribable emotion flitting across his face before it was replaced by the normal, mouth curled up in a cheeky smile expression he always seemed to wear.

‘I dunno, I think somewhere deep inside that icy heart of yours you have feelings.’ He replied, and Michael looked astonished.

‘How could you think such a thing?’ he asked, shocked, but couldn’t hold the expression before he giggled. Gavin joined him as they got back into the car, and they kept up their drunken shenanigans the entire ride home. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two of the drunken shenanigans chapter, yeye.  
> And hell yes there's more cuddling at the end (only a little) because who can honestly say no to that?  
> Nobody so shutup
> 
> Read & review, yo

When they finally arrived, Ray jumped out of the car and headed straight for the door, calling out ‘Bring the grog yourselves!’ over his shoulder.

After hearing an affirmative ‘Yes ma-am!’ from Gavin, followed by an ‘Ow!’ as Michael presumably hit him, Ray nodded in satisfaction and took about two steps before realising he couldn’t trust the drunken idiots to save his life.

Since his two steps had maybe been more like ten because he’d already made it inside and closed the door, he sighed and kicked his shoes off, reopening the door and not bothering to close it behind him as he approached the car.

He paused, however, when he heard Michaels quiet voice drift towards him. ‘You know, jealousy’s not a good look on you.’ Michael was saying, and when Ray glanced around the corner he was leaning over Gavin, pressing him into the boot. His arms were up against the car on either side of him, effectively trapping Gavin in.

‘I’m not… I wasn’t jealous.’ Gavin replied, his usual confidence and smugness currently gone. He was looking up straight at Michael, who had this infuriatingly attractive smile, like he knew something Gavin didn’t. 

‘Weren’t you? It looked like you were.’ Michael purred, leaning in close. His breath washed over Gavin’s face, warm and moist compared to the cold dryness of the outside air. Gavin shook his head nervously.

‘No. Just surprised was all.’ He tried to laugh it off, but the small motion his laughter caused brought him even closer to Michael’s lips, and he tried to focus on anything else.

‘Surprised?’ Michael repeated, eyes narrowing. He tilted his head, gaze wandering casually over Gavin’s face, and Gavin shivered beneath him. He felt like a piece of meat on display, and there was a small part of him he was desperately trying to squish that was revelling in it, basking in the way Michael so easily bent him over and took control of the situation.

‘Yep.’ He replied, but his voice squeaked slightly, and he coughed to cover it. Michael wasn’t fooled, and Gavin knew it, a flush of embarrassment spreading through his body. He didn't like that, so he took the conversation into his own hands.

‘I mean, I always knew you swung that way, but Ray, really? He’s attractive, sure, but I always thought you’d be more attracted to someone like… me.’ Gavin teased, and his confidence returned in the way Michael suddenly averted his eyes.

‘You?’ Michael laughed. ‘No, you? You’re… insufferable. Infuriating. Annoying. I can’t _stand_ you.’ He whispered, and he leaned in closer with every word until his lips were hovering barely a millimetre off of Gavin’s. 

Completely unsure of what to do, Ray stepped back around from where he was crouched, peering around the car to climb quietly back up the steps. Once there he loudly closed the door and clomped back down the steps, because damn right he was going to cockblock the fuck out of these idiots when they were too drunk to know what they should and shouldn't do.

Honestly, he was just trying to stop them from getting hurt. They could sort this shit out when they were sober.

‘T-t-t-today, junior!’ he shouted as he confidently walked around the car to see Michael rummaging around in the suddenly opened boot and Gavin standing to the side, awkward. ‘What’s up your ass?’ he asked, quirking an eyebrow, and turned to help Michael pull the drinks out.

‘Actually, I don’t want to know. What you and Michael do in your spare time is your own business.’ He said as he straightened, hands weighed down by plastic bags full of liquor. He saw Gavin go incredibly red and glance at Michael, who glanced back, an unspoken message passing between them.

_What did he see?_

But Ray gave them nothing more to suggest he knew anything about anyone that he shouldn’t, instead smiling innocently at the glance. When he saw undisguised relief flood Gavin’s expression and the more subtle relaxation of Michael’s posture, he turned and headed back to the house.

He paused when he heard a lack of footsteps behind him, and called back over his shoulder ‘You gunna stand there all night? It’s not my duty to take care of your drunk asses.’ And with that he entered the house, deciding that whatever, he’d done what he could and it was up to them whether they wanted to stand in the freezing cold and make out or come in to the beautiful warmth.

Even though, of course, he’d always take care of the idiots.

He quirked a smile when he heard Michael pad after him, and the quiet ‘Wait up!’ Gavin whispered loudly when he realised he was being left behind. He dropped the bags on the counter in the kitchen and greeted Griffon, who was rummaging in the fridge.

‘Hey.’ She greeted distractedly, focused on extracting the food. When she triumphantly pulled it out Ray glanced at it, nodding his favour.

‘Sweet, barbeque night?’ he asked, and pulled the bottles out of the bags.

‘You know Geoff wouldn’t have it any other way. Plus, he got that sweet new grill, and he’s been aching to show it off forever.’ She laughed, picking up the food and balancing it easily. ‘To be fair, it is a nice grill. I’m jealous. I think he pays more attention to it than me.’

Ray snorted at the unlikelihood of that.

‘I’ll tell him you’re here, and come bearing grog.’ With that she left, leaving Ray standing alone in the kitchen. He shrugged and continued to set the drinks on the counter, assuming Geoff or the rest of the Lads would be in momentarily.

His assumption was proven right when Geoff stumbled in. ‘Heyo!’ he greeted, coming up behind Ray and leaning over his shoulder to study the choices.

‘Nice.’ Came the eventual approval, and Ray laughed.

‘You like anything.’ He said as Geoff picked up the next bottle to admire it against the light. He shrugged.

‘Possibly, possibly.’ Geoff nodded in agreement. ‘But it’s a lovely thing.’

‘Drinking yourself into oblivion?’ Ray teased as Michael and Gavin stumbled in, clutching the remaining bag tightly.

‘I wouldn’t have it any other way.’ Geoff winked, unconsciously mimicking Griffon's earlier words, picking a few bottles up. ‘We’re all out back, barbeques on, come out whenever you feel like it. We’ll be done in about half an hour.’

Ray watched as he exited, and turned to Michael and Gavin. ‘Outside or in?’ he asked, and Gavin shrugged, but Michael flicked his head in the direction of the lounge room.

‘In. Duh. Videogames. ‘ he said, and grabbed Gavin by the wrist, dragging him behind him. ‘Wait, Ray, grab us some drinks!’ he shouted back, still dragging Gavin away. Ray scoffed but turned back to observe the selection they’d acquired.

There was vodka, more Jim Beam and cokes, whiskey and- ‘Did you pick up margarita mix?’ Ray yelled. There was silence, and Gavin’s head sheepishly poked around the corner of the kitchen.

‘Uh, that may have been me.’ He grinned. Ray resisted the urge to face palm.

‘Do you even know how to make margaritas?’ he asked exasperatedly.

‘Yeah! You just pour it all together and… shake it…’ he trailed off. ‘It’ll be an experiment, and it’ll be fun, and that’s what matters.’ Gavin said, nodding to himself. Ray gave up and grabbed the Jim Beams (he at least knew that they liked these) and followed them into the lounge room.

‘Game night!’ he declared, flopping down on the couch. He didn’t even look up as Gavin leaned over the back, yelling ‘WHAT IS GAME NIGHT?’ in his ear. He just grinned as he heard Michael re-enter the room, brandishing a disc of Mario Kart.

Ray clapped in delight at his choice, and gestured excitedly for him to put it in. Michael obliged and sat beside Ray, effectively sandwiching him between the two. Ray shrugged and settled in, running his hands over the familiar Xbox controller as he waited for it to load.

Michael burped, long and loud beside him as he fished for the next can of the pack. Ray shook his head, part amazed and part exasperated.

‘You’re like a suction pump.’ He muttered, and Gavin overheard him, bursting into peals of laughter. ‘A suction pump! Like a vacuum cleaner, right?’ and proceeded to make revving sounds.

‘Why do you sound like a fucking car, idiot? Vacuum cleaners don’t make that noise!’ Michael yelled, smacking him over the head and effectively silencing the revving noises. Gavin, in turn, started pouting, leaning forward to stare forlornly at Michael as he tried to focus on the game.

Ray shook his head and rubbed his forehead, but he was smiling. His smile only grew as he proceeded to absolutely annihilate the competition. If you could call it that.

A drunken Michael was atrocious at the game, but incredibly competitive. Gavin, on the other hand, wasted his turns, preferring to make it halfway and then turn around, arguing that ‘he travelled the length of the damn map, it should bloody well count!’

His ass-kicking was continuing without a problem when Jack wandered in, tipsy but not drunk, clutching his ever loved bottle of Jack Daniels. He situated himself on the recliner, observed the situation with a parenting eye and coughed, capturing Michael’s attention, who looked frustrated at his failures but was having fun none the less.

‘Having trouble there, lads?’ he smirked, and Michael glared at him.

‘No. I’m letting Ray win.’ He defended angrily, and Jack just laughed.

‘Of course you are.’ He replied innocently. Michael narrowed his eyes.

‘I know what you’re doing!’ he slurred loudly, and Gavin giggled. ‘You’re trying to make me angry so I do badly and Ray wins.’ He said, looking smug.

Jack shrugged. ‘It would be my plan, but you’re doing that yourself.’ Michael stood angrily and went to stride over, but was stopped by Gavin’s hand gently tugging his wrist. Jack was almost thankful (not that he was worried), but he recognised the glint in Gavin’s eye.

‘Get him when he’s not looking.’ Gavin whispered quietly in Michael’s ear, and Michael straightened, the same look beginning to glean in his eye. He leaned back, still maintaining eye contact with Jack, and whispered ‘In the pool later?’ and Gavin nodded, squealing quietly in anticipation.

Jack glared at them suspiciously, but gave up on the idea of questioning them for information when Geoff’s shout echoed through the house, announcing that ‘Dinner’s fuckin ready, got your asses out here.’ Ray stood quickly, paused the game and throwing the controller down onto the couch behind him.

‘I’m starved.’ He announced, and headed off outside with Jack, chatting about idiots and videogames. Michael watched them leave with narrowed eyes, but his face lit up when Gavin bounced impatiently beside him, whining that he was hungry.

‘You always eat, how the hell aren’t you fat?’ Michael complained, and realised that Gavin still had his hand around his wrist. He blinked, but Gavin just used the grip to tug him forward, through the house and outside, where the aroma of cooking meat permeated their senses.

‘Ooh Michael, hamburgers!’ Gavin cheered appreciatively, and Michael rolled his eyes.

‘Yeah Gavin, hamburgers. They’re not exactly rare.’ He muttered, but it didn’t dampen Gavin’s enthusiasm. Gavin shrugged, finally dropping his hand as they arrived in front of Geoff. Michael immediately missed the smooth skin, disliking the way the cool air hit where Gavin’s heat had been covering before.

He rubbed his wrist, frowning, as he scanned the options. ‘I’ll take a fuckin’ hamburger as well I guess.’ He decided, and ducked back inside to get his drink. After retrieving it and returning back outside, ignoring the catcalls Jack and Ray gave him for getting Gavin’s too, he scanned around for Gavin and saw him off to the side, talking to Griffon.

He was unsure whether to approach, but the little wave Griffon gave him let him know so he stumbled towards them, appreciating the way the ground tilted under him. The drunken buzz taking over his mind was growing stronger by the minute, and he loved it, feeding it with more alcohol in an attempt to keep this feeling going on forever.

‘Yo.’ He greeted smoothly as he arrived, contradicting the way he’d nearly tripped when he stopped walking. He handed Gavin’s drink off to him and turned around again, walking clumsily over to the barbeque table. He waited until he had Geoff’s attention and gestured to the hotplate.

‘A hamburger, my good sir!’ he requested, and Geoff obliged with a grin and a small salute. He giggled. ‘Where are all the wenches at?’ he asked, and Geoff scoffed.

‘No wenches here, lad. If you wanted wenches you should have come to Oktoberfest with us.’ Geoff replied, throwing together a burger. ‘Go get everyone out here, we’re eating together.’

Michael nodded. ‘Nice grill.’ He muttered appreciatively, and Geoff positively beamed. With that, Michael turned and walked inside. ‘Sorry to interrupt your little moment, but dinner is served.’ He directed to the trio camped out in the lounge room. He delivered the last few words in a terrible French accent.

‘Mmm, yes, quite.’ responded Ray as he stood, gesturing for Jack and Ryan to stand too. ‘We were just discussing matters of great importance.’ Michael brushed his words off with a laugh, dismissing them as a general Ray nonsense. The accent certainly didn’t help matters any.

‘Fucking retard.’ He laughed, and they followed him outside. He downed the rest of his drink as he waited for his hamburger and immediately wanted another, but he was far too comfortable and far too lazy to be bothered getting up to get another. He turned to Ray, who was seated next to him.

‘Raaaaayy?’ he drew out.

‘No.’ came the immediate response. Michael frowned.

‘You don’t even know what I’m gunna ask yet!’ he yelled, and Ray nodded.

‘That’s true. But the answer’s still no.’

Michael glared. ‘What are you, my mother?’ he said, annoyed. Ray ignored the jibe and continued to munch on his sausage sandwich.

‘I wanted a drink.’ He pouted, and Ray ignored him, continuing to eat.

‘Get it yourself.’ He eventually replied, mouth still full of half chewed bread.

‘No.’ Michael whined, and collapsed on the table. ‘Raaayyy. I’ll die.’ He moaned pitifully, and Ray immediately thought of the similar scenario the other day.

‘Yeah, no. Man up princess, get it yourself.’ He taunted.

Michael frowned into his arms and shook his head. ‘No. I refuse.’ He said stubbornly. Ray laughed.

‘Well if you want to, you’re going to have to get off your pale, lazy white ass and get it yourself.’ He responded, chewing away happily. He saw Michael lift his head and glare daggers at him. ‘What? It’s true. Not all of us are blessed with naturally beautiful, dark skin.’ He said sympathetically, eyes full of fake pity. Michael just glared harder, before he turned his head to the side.

‘Gaviiiin!’ he called, drawing his name out in the same fashion as he did to Ray’s. Ray just scoffed and rolled his eyes.

‘Of course you’d make Gavin do it.’ He huffed into his sandwich. Michael had an overly pleased expression on his face.

‘Well when you have a British slave at your beck and call, I’d like to see you do differently.’ He retorted smugly. Ray was about to reply when Gavin appeared.

‘Wot?’ he asked, British accent becoming more pronounced with the alcohol working on his system. Michael didn’t bother raising his head, simply gesturing in the direction of the fridge, and said something muffled that Gavin didn’t quite catch.

He looked confusedly at Ray, who rolled his eyes again and elaborated. ‘He wants you to be his bitch and get him another drink.’

Realisation dawned on Gavin’s face. ‘Ohh.’ He said. ‘What drink?’ he asked the slumped figure on the table, and was blessed with a shrug for his troubles. Ray saw his chance.

‘He loves Sambuca, that liquorice stuff? Drinks it by the gallon.’ He said seriously, and nodded to emphasise his point. Gavin shrugged, ever the gullible one.

‘Okay.’ He said, and scampered off. Ray sniggered. That’s what Michael got for being a tool. As if just cluing in to the situation, Michael raised his head blearily and stared at Ray.

‘I… I don’t like Sambuca?’ he frowned, thinking about it. Ray barely avoided bursting into laughter.

‘Yes you do!’ he disagreed, putting on his best serious face. It only served to confuse Michael further, making him scrunch his face up as he put his best effort into remembering whether he actually _did_ like it or not. ‘Remember? You had it at that party a while ago, and thought it was really good?’ he prompted, purposely being as vague as possible.

‘I don’t know.’ Michael replied uncertainly, glancing at Ryan as he made his way past. Ray saw his chance and seized it, reaching out and snagging Ryan by the arm. ‘Ryan! My friend!’ he declared, and Ryan looked understandably wary, removing Ray’s hand from his arm cautiously.

‘What do you want?’ he asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion. Ray put on an appropriately shocked and offended look.

‘Whatever do you mean? I just wanted to greet my old friend. Where’s the R and R connection?’ he said, dismayed.

‘Cut the bullshit.’ Ryan laughed, smart enough to realise Ray had an ulterior motive.

‘Nah, I just wanted you to remind me, Michael really liked Sambuca, didn’t he?’ Ray asked nonchalantly, but he never broke eye contact with Ryan, nodding meaningfully. Ryan immediately picked up on the cue and went along with it.

‘Why do you need me to remind you he does? He’s right there, he can tell you himself.’ Ryan said.

‘Right? He got confused though, needed X-Ray to boost his memory, even though he didn’t trust me.’ He directed a frown at Michael, who remained oblivious. ‘Anyway, thank you.’ He said as dismissal, and Ryan smiled and left.

‘Just try it again when Gavin gets back, you’ll know what I mean.’ Ray said to Michael casually, and Michael pursed his lips thoughtfully, before he nodded in agreement. As if on cue, Gavin returned, Sambuca in hand and looking proud of himself.

‘I had to wrestle Geoff for this.’ He told them in a hushed manner, looking over his shoulder at Geoff, who had his arms crossed in front his chest, watching them from across the yard. ‘Yeah? You want some of this? Come and get it!’ Gavin taunted defiantly, waving the bottle around before turning back to Ray and Michael, placing the bottle on the table and opening it. He sniffed it carefully, unnaturally cautious.

He pulled a face and was about to complain when Ray elbowed him not so gently in the ribs, changing his noise from one of disgust to one of surprise. ‘Raaay!’ Gavin whined, rubbing his ribs, but Ray ignored him, watching Michael, who’d lifted the bottle to his lips to take a sip when Gavin let out a _very_ manly squeal as he was tackled from behind by Geoff.

‘You mess with the best, you die like the rest!’ Geoff yelled, and tipped Gavin to the ground.

Gavin screeched as he was sat on. Ray laughed, distracted, as he watched their shenanigans. ‘I thought you didn’t even like Sambuca, Geoff?’ he asked, and Geoff shrugged.

‘Maybe so.’ Geoff agreed easily. ‘Maybe I just didn’t want this little cocksucker getting it.’

Ray was about to say something else when he heard a loud retch behind him, and moved out of the way just in time to narrowly avoid getting knocked to the ground by Michael, who was holding his throat and gagging, running for the nearest bushes.

Ray collapsed to the ground in laughter as Michael proceeded to throw up heavily.

Ryan and Jack wandered back over, food in hand, and casually observed the scene.

 ‘Well.’ Ryan said simply.

 ‘Mmph.’ Jack concurred with a mouthful of food.

‘Should… I… even… ask?’ Ryan said, attention drawn between the wrestling Gavin and Geoff, Ray collapsed on the ground in a puddle of laughter and Michael bent double over the bushes, puking up his entire stomach worth of drinks for the night. 'Why do we always walk in on shit like this?'

‘Tumblr would love it.’ Jack stated, and Ryan agreed. He turned to Michael, face drawing together in momentary concern. ‘You alive, Michael?’ he called. Michael stuck his hand out behind him in a gesture that could have meant anything, but Ryan accepted it as a positive one and turned in tandem with Jack, heading back to the liquor source.

By now Ray was beginning to compose himself, and was evolving from a puddle on the ground to a vaguely Ray-like shape. Michael, evidently done throwing his guts up, eventually straightened up, taking his time to resume a proper standing position.

‘G…Geoff…’ Gavin gasped weakly, clawing feebly at the man still collapsed on him. Geoff, in turn, just snuggled into Gavin, rubbing his beard against Gavin’s face while he tried to escape from under him.

‘Aren’t you having fun, Gavvy?’ Geoff laughed.

‘Dying.’ Gasped Gavin, and Geoff finally took pity on him, getting up.

‘Cause I’m nice.’ He said by way of explanation, and dragged Gavin into a standing position. ‘Now hurry up, foods going cold. I made you ungrateful swine some hamburgers.’ He smiled. ‘Now, me and the gents are going to have a pub night, it’s been decided.’

‘Not me. I’ve gotta be home soon.’ Jack called out, and Geoff glared. This proved ineffective, as he was still facing Ray.

‘Okay, me and Ryan are having a pub night.’ He waited, cocking an eyebrow, and when he heard no disagreements he smiled. ‘Excellent.’

‘Ryan and I.’ Ray corrected, having returned to his proper shape.

‘ _Ryan and I_ are gunna beat the shit out of you if you don’t shut the hell up.’ muttered Geoff, and entered the house.

Ray turned around to Michael, who’d made his way to the table and slumped at it. ‘Oh no you don’t.’ Ray said, picking him back up before he could settle in. ‘We’re going inside, for food and games. Like hell am I staying out here all night.’

‘C’mon.’ he urged, and Gavin stumbled over, wrapping a warm arm around Michaels waist and guiding them inside. Ray shrugged and grabbed their plates of food, leaving his own plate out. He’d get it later.

He dumped their plates on the table in front of them and took a seat on the couch, next to Gavin, who ended up in the middle. He resumed their earlier game of Mario Kart as Michael and Gavin ate hurriedly.

‘I don’t know how you have an appetite.’ He murmured to Michael, who glared half-heartedly at him.

‘Shut the hell up.’ Michael said, but there was no force behind it. When they finished stuffing their faces Gavin burped loudly, settling in contentedly.

‘I’m stuffed.’ He declared, and Michael snorted.

‘ _I’ve had sufficient to eat._ ’ Geoff corrected from another room from where he was getting ready to leave, and they all laughed.

‘I’m not posh, you dope.’ Gavin called back, snuggling down.

Michael put his food away next to the couch, doing the same for Gavin before he stood up and kicked him.

‘Wot?’ Gavin slurred, half asleep. Michael smiled at him, an expression Ray couldn’t read passing over his features, and kicked him again.

‘Get up, asshole. We’re pulling the couch out.’ He demanded, and Gavin obeyed sleepily. Ray stood up and moved out of the way, still focused on his game, and sat back down as soon as it was out. Michael plonked down on his side of the couch and Gavin had to crawl over him to get to his previous position.

Soon, all their eyes were drooping, struggling to stay focused on the increasingly blurry T.V. They all succumbed to sleep at about the same time, Gavin first, then Michael, Ray being the last of them.

When Geoff padded out in the morning, barefoot and rubbing at his sleepy eyes tiredly, he was greeted by an interesting sight.

The three boys, all curled up together on his fold out couch. Gavin was in the middle, Ray on his right and Michael on his left. His arm was tucked securely around Michael’s waist and his leg intertwined between both of Michaels, his forehead was resting just under his chin, pressed into his chest. His right arm was being used as a pillow by Ray, who was sprawled on his stomach, pressed waist to shoulder against Gavin.

It was all rather endearing, Geoff thought, as he snapped a picture, and he grinned with mischievous glee at the thought of blackmailing them later.

But maybe there was a little bit of affection in his smile, too.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup lads and ladies, chapter twelve, exciting yay fun happiness
> 
> Moving on, enjoy the chapter, next one should be up when it's finished and my other fic updated shortly.
> 
> Read & review, yo

‘Ray! Raaaay. Ray!’

The man in question was pulled from sleep by a quiet but insistent voice close to his ear. He grunted and waved a hand at the annoyance, rolling over.

Only to be met by something much warmer and much more alive than he could say he usually found in his bed.

He peeked one eye open and saw Gavin’s face inches from him, and he jerked back in surprise. ‘Jesus _Christ,_ Gavin!’ he exclaimed, flopping back down. ‘Give a girl some warning.’

Gavin just giggled and nudged him again. ‘But lookit Ray, it’s just so _cute!’_ he squealed quietly, and Ray peeled an eye open to observe what Gavin was getting so excited over.

‘I’m sure whatever it is can wai-’ he stopped talking as his gaze followed Gavin’s finger, which was currently jabbed into the side of Michael’s cheek. Michael was still sound asleep, lost to the world as Gavin repeatedly poked him gently, mouth partly open and glasses askew, soft snoring sounds emitting from him.

‘Dude. You’re so gay.’ Ray said, even though the site was a little cute. He just looked so… peaceful.

‘You can’t pretend it’s not adorable.’ Gavin sniffed, continuing to poke him. ‘He doesn’t even react!’ he giggled, and Ray smacked his hand away.

‘Let him have his beauty sleep.’ He grumbled, and moved to get up. Gavin stopped poking him and turned to Ray with a pouty expression.

‘Where are you going?’ he asked.

‘To get food. Also, to get the hell away from you two before I puke.’ Ray responded smoothly as Geoff entered the room.

‘Isn’t it just _adorable?’_ Geoff said drily, arching an eyebrow at Gavin, who’d resumed poking Michael’s cheek with a focused expression, watching carefully as Michael twitched in his sleep and reached out, swatting away the annoyance.

‘He’s _frowning!’_ Gavin squealed, and proceeded to squish Michael’s together face between his hands. Ray just stared for a moment, closing his eyes and shaking his head slightly in exasperation.

‘You better not have done that to me.’ He muttered. Gavin mumbled something under his breath, still playing with Michaels face. ‘Can’t hear you if you don’t talk properly.’ Ray said sarcastically.

Gavin rolled his eyes. ‘I said you woke up.’ Ray opened his mouth to say something but stopped, instead shaking his head again and choosing to walk away.

‘I’d stop that before _he_ wakes up.’ Geoff warned as he followed Ray into the kitchen. ‘Dude, pancakes?’ he offered, and Ray accepted immediately. ‘I’ll just assume everyone wants some and make enough for everyone.’

Ray nodded his agreement and propped himself against the counter, standing idly by as Geoff bustled about, well in his element. ‘You could-’ Geoff was cut off as a familiar squeal cut loudly through the air.

‘Michael, Mi- please!’ they heard, and Ray rolled his eyes while Geoff chuckled.

‘Fucking warned you, dickhead!’ he shouted in the direction of the lounge room, and resumed his previous activities. A moment later a tousle headed Michael emerged, rubbing still sleepy eyes and managing to look annoyed regardless.

‘Oi asshole, grab my glasses.’ He called back to Gavin, who moaned something in response. ‘You fucking knocked them off!’ Michael yelled back, and turned back to face them. ‘Fucking idiot.’ He muttered, and sat on the counter next to them. Ray snorted.

‘What’s so funny?’ Michael snapped as Gavin returned, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly with one hand and holding the glasses out in front of him with the other, a peace offering.

‘Here, Michael.’ He said hopefully. Michael glared at him as he took them and situated them back on his face. ‘Mic-’

‘Shut up, Gavin.’ Michael warned, leaning back to observe the ceiling.

‘Aww you’re so sweet in the morning, Michael.’ Geoff teased, and Michael narrowed his eyes. He would have snapped at him if he hadn’t been the owner of the house they were currently residing in, and on top of that, their boss. Not to mention Michael’s friend, so after mulling his options over he chose to stay in silence, glaring childishly at the ceiling.

‘I think it’s cute.’ Offered Gavin, and ducked the hand that come flying at him as if he’d expected it. Which, knowing the asshole, he probably did.

‘Shut up, Gavin.’ Geoff copied, pouring the prepared mixture into the pan. ‘Oh, sweet dude, I have bacon!’ he remembered. ‘Fuckin’ fry that shit up!’ he said, enthusiasm breaking through his tiredness in the name of said treat. Gavin and Ray immediately looked at Michael.

‘Nope. You assholes can cook it.’ He refused, much to their dismay.

‘But Michael, we don’t know how!’ Gavin wailed, and Ray agreed.

‘Bullshit! You just chuck it in the pan and turn it when it’s ready!’ Michael argued, raising his eyebrows at the sheer improbability of them not knowing how to cook fucking _bacon._ Then again, this was Gavin and Ray. With a groan he gave in, opening the fridge in surrender.

He cheered back up slightly when he pulled out the honestly ridiculous amount of bacon residing in the Ramsey’s refrigerator. ‘Oh dude, you got bacon for _days!’_ he cried.

The remaining Lads cheered, high fiving each other before Gavin ducked into a cupboard and withdrew a frypan. ‘Here you go Michael.’ He said happily.

‘One of these days you fuckers are going to learn to cook.’ Michael said, taking the frypan with a bit more force than strictly necessary.

‘Nu-uh!’ Gavin retorted, jumping up onto the counter and patting the seat next to him in a clear invitation for Ray. ‘Not when we have people like you to do it for us.’

‘Truer words have never been spoken.’ Ray said seriously, reaching up to high five Gavin again without looking. Michael just rolled his eyes but when he was facing away he smiled, a secret smile reserved for his idiotic friends and their idiotic ways.

‘Whatever. Geoff, where’s the spray?’ he asked. Geoff handed it to him with one hand, flipping a pancake with the other.

‘Spray!’ Gavin yelled. ‘See! You didn’t mention that! You said just stick it in.’ he pointed out smugly, and Michael barely resisted the urge to spray him in the face.

Ray snickered. ‘Just stick it in.’ he repeated, and after a moment Gavin’s face cleared with realisation and he burst out laughing.

‘How’s the bacon doing, Michael?’ Geoff asked as he continued piling pancakes on the already mountainous pile of pancakes on the plate.

Michael spared a glance at the packet. ‘Good. Gimme five more minutes.’ He estimated. Geoff nodded, smiling at their little team effort.

‘Gavin, go wake everyone up. Ray… I don’t know, do whatever the fuck you do when you’re not playing videogames and being annoying.’ Geoff quipped distractedly.

‘Still full up with annoying you.’ Ray quipped. 'Is it ever not?' He asked as Gavin jumped down off the counter and went to retrieve everyone. He trailed off as Geoff approached him, wondering if he was going to get eaten.

‘Move it.’ Geoff ordered, and Ray swung his legs obediently to the side so Geoff could access the drawer he was blocking. He withdrew a handful of cutlery and turned to the side slightly to keep Michael in view.

‘Heads up!’ he declared in warning, and sent the first fork flying through the air, easy and slow so Michael could have plenty of time to react.

‘What the fuck!’ Michael spluttered, dropping the spatula so he could catch the object flying at him. As soon as he had it safely in his hands Geoff was throwing the next one, still slow and easy. Michael caught this one a bit more easily since his hands weren’t full, so Geoff began speeding up, throwing them quicker until he was out of forks.

‘Incoming!’ he crowed, throwing the first of the knives up. Michael laughed, catching it easily by the handle.

‘Too easy!’ he boasted, catching the second and third in the same manner. In response to this, Geoff sped up, throwing the next few faster, but still carefully, so as not to put any spin on them. This is how Griffon found them, and Ray couldn’t say she looked too surprised. She just took a seat at the table, head propped on her hand, and watched them.

Ray was about to join her when Gavin returned, empty handed. ‘Jack went home last night earlier and I couldn’t find Ryan.’ He said by way of explanation.

‘No need, I’m right here.’ Ryan said, entering the kitchen. He eyed the spectacle in front of him warily and backed cautiously to the table where Griffon sat, taking one of the available seats. ‘I was going to head home after the pub crawl, but I guess I got side tracked.’

‘Oh shit, man, did you call your wife and tell her you weren’t-’ Geoff started, but Ryan held up a placating hand.

‘I did indeed, no problems there. She’s still not home.’ He said, and Geoff just nodded and turned back to the pancake pile in front of him. ‘That is a _very_ large pile of pancakes.’ He stated, looking impressed. Michael glanced at him.

‘Right? But we can totally take it.’ He said unworriedly.

‘It’ll be easy as dicks, dude.’ Geoff agreed wholeheartedly, and glanced at the bacon. ‘What’d you- Oh.’ He cut himself off as he spied the pile of cutlery piled haphazardly on the bench. ‘Smooth, Michael.’ He laughed, and got himself a glare in return.

‘Well if you didn’t start fucking throwing it at me…’ Michael defended, and focused on putting the bacon on the serving plate. He was focusing well until Gavin came up behind him, using his height to his advantage to peek over Michael’s shoulder at the bacon that was almost ready.

‘Can you not wait two fucking minutes?’ Michael asked exasperatedly.

‘But I’m hungry _now_.’ Gavin whined, earning a smack on the back of the head courtesy of Geoff.

‘Shut up, dude, it's ready _now.’_ Geoff said, mimicking Gavin’s whiny tone. Gavin, who had turned to pout at Geoff when he smacked him, grinned brightly and straightened.

‘About time.’ He teased, and danced out of the way of Geoff’s hand again. He didn’t, however, dance out of the way of Griffon’s towel whip. ‘Ow!’ he cried pitifully, holding his backside. ‘What was that for?’

‘Let the men do their work, sweetie.’ She reprimanded, and Gavin looked appropriately chastised. That only lasted until he’d made his way out of her reach and dropped himself dramatically next to Ryan, who immediately stood and moved over a seat.

‘It’s nothing personal.’ He said when Gavin spluttered indignantly at him. ‘It’s just, I’d like to be able to eat my food without being in fear of you doing something horrible.’ He said honestly, and Gavin looked offended.

‘I would _never,_ Ryan.’ He started to rebuke, but was distracted by Geoff and Michaels approach. ‘Ooh!’ he squealed appreciatively, and Geoff messed his hair up. Ray finally took his seat, choosing to risk the possibility of danger sitting next to Gavin for the relative safety of being next to Ryan, who he was relatively sure wouldn’t try anything. Michael took the one on the other side of Gavin without a second thought and Geoff took the seat next to that.

‘Alright, lads!’ Gavin cheered enthusiastically. ‘Let’s dig in!’

‘But we haven’t said Grace!’ Michael cried, looking shocked and outraged.

‘We have to thank the Lord for this bountiful feast.’ Ray agreed.

‘The only people you cocksuckers have to thank for this are me and Michael.’ Geoff said, heaping his plate. ‘But you can call us your Lord if you want.’ He shrugged.

‘Lord of the lame.’ Gavin snickered, earning a face full of icing sugar from Geoff for his troubles. Ray laughed, but at the same time looked like he was embarrassed for Gavin for making that joke.

‘You’re an idiot, Gav.’ Michael said, affection creeping into his tone. Gavin just turned to him and made a face, mouth full of pancake and face covered in icing sugar. Michael couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. He reached out without thinking to smear a dab of maple syrup onto Gavin’s nose, who just giggled, his face scrunching when he felt the sticky substance being applied.

‘Don’t let us interrupt.’ said Griffon cheerfully. ‘We didn’t want to eat without puking or anything.’ Michael immediately pulled back, trying to pass off as casual despite the red flush he felt burning his neck.

‘Hey! You’re meant to support my choices!’ Gavin cried. ‘How else will I flourish and grow?’ he said sadly, continuing to stuff his face with pancakes.

‘I think you’ve flourished enough.’ Ray laughed. A pause. ‘Please tell me there won’t be any more flourishing.’ He said worriedly.

‘I don’t think we could handle it.’ Ryan agreed, wiping his hands dutifully on the napkin, the only one at the table bothering with any level of table manners.

‘ _Not_ that there’s any choices going on here.’ interrupted Michael, who didn’t want anyone getting any wrong ideas.

‘We’re not saying there is.’ Griffon said innocently. Michael narrowed his eyes at her. Stupid Griffon and her stupid pretend innocence. She was pure evil.

‘Not at all.’ _Stupid Geoff._

‘Not even remotely.’ _Stupid Ryan._

‘Nobody’s saying that.’ _Stupid Ray._

‘In fact, the only one insinuating anything is you and Gavin.’ She continued, smiling at him. _Evil, evil, evil._

‘Wot?’ Gavin asked, apparently having zoned out of the conversation. _Lucky bastard._

‘Nothing.’ Michael interrupted quickly as Geoff went to fill him in. ‘They’re just being ridiculous.’ He said casually.

‘What’s new, they’re always ridiculous. ’ Gavin shrugged, earning a swat from Griffon.

‘I’ll give _you_ always ridiculous.’ Geoff muttered childishly, causing everyone to laugh.

The easy banter continued well on throughout the morning.

\---

At about one pm, Ray straightened up excitedly from where he’d been slumped, half-heartedly surfing the computer. He pushed away from the desk and spun around to face Michael and Gavin, who were engaged in a truly riveting game of Worms.

Ray cleared his throat expectantly, and when he didn’t get the response he anticipated he glared holes in the back of their heads. When this, too, failed to encourage a reaction he rolled his eyes and pulled his glasses off before running forward and jumping over the back of the couch, landing on both the other men and successfully gaining their attention.

Maybe not the attention he wanted though, because after a moment of silence, they slowly turned to face him. Michael looked on top of the world, Gavin, livid. ‘Uh…’ he articulated as _Gavin_ glared at him, looking like he wished he could burn Ray into a little pile of smouldering ashes. ‘Is there something on my face?’ he asked Michael, who couldn’t contain his laughter anymore and collapsed onto the couch.

‘You… he was… you just lost him the whole game!’ Michael crowed gleefully between bouts of laughter. ‘He was _finally_ about to win and you just…’ he stopped being able to articulate words and dissolved into laughter, leaving Ray to look sheepishly at Gavin.

‘Whoops?’ he offered, and Gavin made strangling motions at him, red faced and like Michael, unable to articulate words, but for an entirely different reason. When he did, it was to say, hilarious.

‘I WAS WINNING YOU _DOPE_!’ he cried, looking far too upset for a game of worms. ‘I WAS ABOUT TO KILL HIM AND YOU _BOGGED_ IT UP! YOU BUNCED MY EFFING NUKE ONTO MY LAST DAMN WORM!’ he raged, and Ray gave up on trying to look bashful, instead just joining Michael in laughter.

Gavin continued to rage away, but eventually his anger subsided (it was Gavin, he never takes things to heart) and he giggled mid rant and the effect was ruined. He ended up just giving up and started laughing too, which set Michael laughing again.

When they composed themselves enough to look at each other without laughing Ray remembered his news. ‘Okay I _did_ come over here for a reason, right.’ He began, and Michael stifled a laugh.

‘So, you know what we were talking about the other day in the hos?’ he asked, and waited for them to nod. When they just blinked at him he looked at them exasperatedly. ‘Okay, I’ll take it slow for you. Remember when I told you about the whole storm thing?’

Realisation dawned on their faces, followed by eager nods. ‘Weelll..’ he drew out, but grinned. ‘Tomorrow. It’s storm season, right? And that big storm the other night was one of three big storms they predicted.’ He paused. ‘Well, there are more than three storms obviously, but they predicted there’d be three really big ones, like weigh down your tarps and tape your windows kind of storms.’ He trailed off for a moment, lost in his thoughts, before he snapped back out of it.

‘The first one hit like a week ago, maybe two, remember that really big one?’ they nodded. ‘Yeah. Anyway, the second was the other night, and the third is tomorrow.’ He shrugged casually, as if he wasn’t excited by the prospect. ‘So if you guys still want to go…?’ he offered.

There was a split second of silence before Gavin cheered enthusiastically, his earlier rage forgotten. ‘Bring it on!’ he cried, his face lighting up. Ray grinned and turned to Michael, who was watching him closely.

‘Well I mean, I guess if I have to…’ he shrugged, and Gavin elbowed him. His face split into a grin and he laughed loudly. ‘Of course. We’re in.’ he smiled, and Ray relaxed, before excitement coursed through him.

‘Sweet! And, you know, I might know a place.’ He shrugged casually. ‘No big deal. Few hours out. Fuckin’ perfect.’ He maintained the nonchalant look before he laughed again.

‘What so like, road trip style?’ Michael asked, and Ray nodded, before a thought occurred to him.

‘Uno momento.’ He declared, holding a finger up, before he sprung up off the couch and made a beeline for the computer. He hummed loudly as he clicked around and typed a few things, and Michael and Gavin shared a glance.

Michael shrugged and they got up and followed Ray, peering over each of his shoulders as they observed what he was doing. ‘Mullaworra camping grounds?’ Gavin read slowly.

‘Yep.’ Ray confirmed. ‘We can’t exactly sleep out in the rain.’ He pointed out.

‘True. We don’t have tents though.’ replied Michael.

‘No need, broseph. Thus comes into play the miraculous invention of…’ he trailed off as he clicked a link.

‘Log cabins?’ Michael read dubiously.

‘Sounds sweet!’ Gavin enthused, looking genuinely excited at the prospect. His enthusiasm spread to Michael, who smiled gently at him before looking back at the screen.

‘Couldn’t that be dangerous?’ he asked, and Ray shook his head.

‘They wouldn’t let people go up there in storm season if it was.’ He replied, and Michael considered that.

‘What if it’s just a matter of they don’t care as long as they get paid?’ he asked.

‘Nah, they’ve been doing it for years apparently. It’s like a holiday get away thing, and they recommend it for stormy weather. It’s “therapeutic” and “calming” and all that shit, apparently.’ Ray said, eyes squinting as he scrutinised the screen.

‘What if something happens?’ Michael asked, and Gavin frowned at him.

‘Why are you being such a party pooper?’ he asked. Michael nudged him.

‘I’m not, idiot. I’m playing devil’s advocate.’ At this Gavin just looked confused.

‘Devils advo-what?’

Michael sighed. ‘Devil’s advocate- when you point out any flaws and problems of a plan or idea. It helps make things more fool proof, instead of just going through with stupid decisions. Not that this is a stupid decision,’ he said, glancing at Ray, ‘but you know what I mean.’

‘It’s fine, I totally get where you’re coming from.’ Ray nodded.

Gavin pouted. ‘Boring. Get on our team, Michael.’

‘I am on your team, asshole!’ Michael shoved him. ‘Sorry if I’m trying to protect your sorry ass.’ He grumbled, and Gavin cooed.

‘You taking care of me, my little Michael?’ This earned him another shove, tipping him over so he fell squealing onto the floor. ‘Michael!’ he whined, letting his entire body go lax so he was koala-ing the ground.

‘Shut up, Ray’s on the phone.’ Michael hissed. This was true, as Ray was currently holding his phone up to his ear and leaning back on his chair. Gavin waited until Ray had greeted the person on the other end of the line before he leaned up and moaned loudly into the receiver.

Michael tackled him straight back down to the ground, covering Gavin’s body with his as he muffled Gavin’s shouts with his hands. ‘Shut up!’ he hissed again, but he giggled as Gavin licked at his hand to make him let go.

‘You’re fucking gross.’ He said, making a face. ‘Stop!’ he yelled as quietly as he could, but Gavin didn’t relent. ‘If you don’t stop licking me I’m gunna shove something else in your mouth.’ He threatened, and Gavin’s eyes grew comically wide. Michael barely resisted the urge to laugh as he leaned in close. ‘My…’ he drew out slowly. ‘Shirt. You fucking creep.’ He said smugly, pulling back.

He sat back up, sitting astride Gavin’s chest, whose mouth was still covered by Michael’s hands. ‘Now are you gunna shut up?’ he asked, and when Gavin nodded slowly he withdrew his hands hesitantly. He knew his mistake when Gavin drew in a deep breath to start making noise again but Michael beat him to it, squishing Gavin’s face as he forcefully prevented him from making a sound.

After a moment, that disgusting ticklish feeling started on his hand again. ‘Ew.’ He complained, his face screwing up. ‘That’s it.’ He said, and let go. ‘I warned you.’ He said, pretending to be sorry. ‘Don’t say I didn’t.’ Gavin remained silent, wary and unsure of what was going on.

With that he sat back again, but this time he reached behind him and dragged his shirt over his head. Gavin made a choked noise as he realised, far too late, and Michael balled up his shirt and stuffed as much of it into Gavin’s mouth as he could. He pinned Gavin’s wrists down by his sides and watched as the Brit tried unsuccessfully to free himself.

‘Well, well, well.’ He teased. ‘What do we have here?’ he asked rhetorically, quoting some stupid phrase from some stupid movie. Gavin stopped struggling for a moment and looked straight at Michael, and Michael noted the flush that was spreading across his cheeks. He paused for a moment before he blinked, mouth opening slightly.

Instead of saying anything he just smirked, a cocky, confident smile that made Gavin shiver. He knew Michael felt it when he only smirked harder and leaned in. ‘What’s wrong, Gav?’ he asked casually, but a twist to his tone made him come across as menacing, a fact that rocked Gavin to his core.

‘You look a little flustered there.’ Michael murmured, his eyes sweeping along Gavin’s face down to the blush reddening his neck and upper chest. The scrutiny made Gavin shiver again, and the power that Michael knew he had over him only worked to further his cockiness. He casually rocked his hips up, brushing their crotches together.

The faint moan Gavin gave didn’t help the growing hardness in Michael’s jeans. He did it again, slowly, and Gavin automatically closed his eyes, his head tilting back minutely. They both felt the exact moments their hard cocks pressed against each other through the fabric of their pants. Michael’s head tipped forward as he repeated the motion, putting as much force into it as he could, arms still pressing Gavin into the floor as he rutted against him.

After a moment, though, he came to his senses, pulling back, and he would have jumped away if he didn’t realise how suspicious they would have looked. It was apparently just in time though because Geoff wandered in, looking bored and his perpetually sleepy self. He took one look at them on the floor, Michael topless, his shirt stuffed into Gavin’s mouth and straddling the young Brit. They were both red faced and breathing heavily, and Michael couldn’t imagine how it must have looked.

Apparently pretty obvious, because Geoff snorted. ‘You two are so fucking gay.’ He muttered, and walked back out. ‘Don’t get jizz on my fucking carpet!’ he yelled as he left.

Michael pulled himself off of Gavin immediately, backing away and brushing invisible dirt off of him. He was afraid to meet Gavin’s eye, but he looked up at a soft laugh.

‘I think I got saliva on your shirt.’ Gavin giggled, and Michael felt a rush of relief. He took back the offered shirt and inspecting it for saliva. When he deemed it satisfactorily clean he tugged it back on and glanced at Ray, who’d apparently remained oblivious to the whole incident, leaning back in his chair with his feet on the desk,  waving his free hand about as he described whatever he was saying to whoever was on the other end of the line.

‘Right.’ Michael said.

‘Right.’ Gavin repeated.

‘Worms?’ Michael offered, and Gavin groaned.

‘Never again. Never, ever again. That game hates me.’ He said.

Michael scoffed. ‘The whole world hates you.’ He replied.

‘Your support is appreciated.’ Gavin said sarcastically as he draped himself on the couch. Michael frowned and kicked his leg away.

‘Where the fuck am I meant to sit if your fat ass is taking up the whole couch?’ he asked, and when Gavin moved his legs back to their previous position Michael shrugged and just sat on top of him.

‘Yo!’ Ray called.

‘Eugh I _just_ got comfortable.’ Michael complained. ‘Come here and talk to us.’ He gestured, and Ray did so, taking one look at his seat and joining him on it.

‘So the lady said we can have the cabin, no problem. It’s pretty cheap, too. There’s only four out there, and aside from the one I just booked, only one other is in use. So, y’know, sweet deal.’ Ray shrugged.

Michael smiled at him, a legitimate one. ‘Sounds awesome.’ He agreed. ‘Have we asked Geoff yet?’

Ray coughed awkwardly at that. ‘About that.’ He said, and Michael stared at him for a moment.

‘He doesn’t know.’ He stated.

‘Not… quite. I was kind of hoping you or Gavin could do that.’ Ray admitted.

‘Yeah, I don’t know how happy he’ll be.’ Michael looked thoughtful, before he patted the heap under him. ‘Gavin, that’s your job.’ He allocated, looking pleased with himself. When he received no response he frowned and poked the warm body beneath him.

‘Gavin?’ he asked, and Gavin blinked, snapping out of his thoughts.

‘Wot? Yeah, sure, that’s fine.’ He agreed easily. Ray glanced at Michael and caught a small smile on his face. It was full of affection and warmth, and Ray felt like he was intruding on a private moment. This was kind of ridiculous, because they were both sitting on the receptor of the smile and it wasn’t exactly the most romantic of situations, but when he thought about it; with the two of them, it fit right in.

Snapping out of his own thoughts he coughed and when he looked at Michael the smile was gone, replaced by his normal expression. Ray still felt vaguely uncomfortable so he stood.

‘Welp. I’m gunna go pack stuff and… stuff.’ He nodded again. ‘Yeah. Well actually I’ll just go home, and you can call when and if Geoff says yes.’

‘Sounds good.’ Michael agreed.

‘Alright.’ Ray looked around the room, as if searching for something. Whatever it was he must not have found, because he nodded once more for good measure and started grabbing his items. When he’d procured his things he gave a small wave and headed into the kitchen to thank Geoff and Griffon.

Michael too took this as his cue to leave and jumped off Gavin, who startled at the sudden loss of pressure and the all-around feeling of being sat upon. ‘What’re you doin’?’ he asked, sounding almost sleep. Michael just raised his eyebrow and waggled the hand holding his wallet and keys in explanation.

‘Aw, but…’ Gavin whined, but couldn’t find a reason for Michael to stay.

‘Aw, but Mi-cool, you’re so cool and handsome and I really want you to stay so I can be annoying and stick my big nose in your business instead of doing the work I really need to catch up on?’ mimicked Michael.

Gavin snorted. ‘Not even close you pleb. I was gunna say… something else.’ He said convincingly, and Michael didn’t deign to grace that with an answer, instead exiting the room.

‘Wait!’ Gavin cried as he scrambled after him. ‘Where you going?’ he asked.

‘…Home.’ Michael said. ‘Got a problem?’ he asked, raising an eyebrow.

‘Well, no… but why now?’ Gavin asked.

‘Because I have lots of shit to catch up on and so do you?’ Michael said confusedly.

Gavin shrugged. ‘I guess.’

‘O…kay. Now if you’re done being fucking weird I’m gunna go say thanks to Geoff and Griff and get the fuck outta here. To home!’ he declared loudly.

The word home immediately made Michael think of the recent events surrounding it, and he suddenly wasn’t in such a rush to go. ‘Unless you want me to stay?’ he said, and found himself hoping slightly that Gavin would agree.

This struck him as kind of weird, because Michael was more the kind of person to express what he wanted, not imply it. But he shrugged it off; because with everything that had gone down lately, he was surprised he wasn’t more fucked in the head.

He blinked a few times as he zoned back in to Gavin shaking his head. ‘Nah it’s good mate. I do have work to get done I spose, so I’ll see you tomorrow morning hopefully?’ he said, smiling.

‘Fuck yeah dude! Can’t wait to spend time with my boi!’ Michael responded enthusiastically. ‘Don’t miss me too much.’ He winked and was gone, leaving Gavin with a ridiculous smile on his face and butterflies in his stomach.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whee chapters and shit yay
> 
> Read & review, yo

When morning rolled around it brought an overcast, cloudy sky that promised torrents of rain and deafening thunder. It also brought an excited Gavin, an apprehensive Ray and a contented Michael, the last of whom was taking his sweet ass time to pack for their impromptu storm trip.

He’d just thrown the last of his clothes into his backpack when he heard Ray pull up. A few moments later he heard knocking in his door, and he yelled a cheery ‘Come the fuck in!’ over his shoulder.

Shortly after that Ray poked his head around the doorway to Michael’s room and observed his unready state. ‘Smooth.’ He laughed, and Michael threw a shirt at him, then paused for a moment.

‘I uh, need that back.’ He gestured, retrieving the shirt with a laugh when Ray tried to dangle it over his head. ‘Fucking idiot, who’s taller here?’ he muttered, throwing it in his bag.

‘Me, in the pants. OH!’ Ray called. ‘Fuckin’ got him!’ he shouted, high fiving himself. Michael just rolled his eyes and shoved him off the bed.

‘You can’t call it on yourself.’ He informed, and Ray shook his head in disagreement.

‘Tell that to the hand cos the face ain’t listening.’ Ray replied, holding up his hand and turning his face away to enforce his statement.

‘What did I do wrong to be friends with you?’ Michael asked the world as he threw his backpack over his shoulder.

‘Maybe you drowned some kittens and sacrificed children in a past life.’ Ray suggested, lifting up a shirt that had been thrown on the ground with his foot and pulling a face. ‘Gross, dude. You ever heard of cleaning?’

Michael ignored him. ‘Have you eaten?’ he asked, and Ray nodded. ‘Whoops. Thought we were gunna eat on the road.’ He admitted carelessly.

‘No biggie. I’ll bet you Gavin forgot to eat, so we’ll have to pick something up anyway.’ Ray replied, standing up and cocking his head to the door in a questioning gesture. Michael nodded and together they exited, piling into Ray’s car.

‘Probably. He’s an idiot.’ Agreed Michael, and they drove in companionable silence to the Ramsey residence. They were greeted by Gavin waiting impatiently on the step, and he jumped up excitedly when they pulled up, shouting over his shoulder. Moments after that Geoff appeared, followed by Griffon.

They were about to get out of the car and make their way up the steps to greet them when Griffon pecked Gavin on the cheek and waved him off. Gavin pulled a face before turning back and grinning at them, bounding down the steps. Geoff followed, leaning on the passenger side window as Gavin jumped in the back.

‘Now. You bring my annoying British fuck back safe, they're expensive.’ He warned, and Ray nodded.

‘Yes sir.’ He said solemnly, and Michael gave him a mock salute which quickly turned into a defensive retreat when Geoff reached over and smacked him.

‘Idiot. But seriously, be safe and shit. Don’t get yourself killed, it’s way too much fuckin’ paperwork.’ Geoff said, and they laughed. He straightened and took a step back. ‘Call us if you need us.’ He said, and they all agreed before Ray pulled out, Gavin waving ridiculously enthusiastically until they were out of view and he turned back around in his seat.

‘Dude. We’re gunna be gone a _day._ You’re acting like we’re gunna be gone forever.’ Michael said. ‘It’s ridiculous.’

‘Well I’m sorry I care about people, and they care about me.’ Gavin replied, miffed. Ray laughed.

‘I felt like I was a high school boy taking you out on our first date.’ He admitted, and Gavin snorted at the mental image. ‘I’m serious! I was waiting for him to pull out a shotgun or something.’

‘Totally. He had this air of ‘you mess with Gavin you die’. I nearly shit myself.’ Michael agreed, and Gavin laughed harder.

‘I’ll tell him you think he’s intimidating.’ Gavin said, and Michael reached back to hit him.

‘You’ll do no such thing, or I’ll kill you.’ He threatened, and Gavin squealed, curling up in the seat to avoid Michaels searching fist. He tentatively reached out with his hand to smack Michael away.

 ‘Ow! Stop flailing so much you idiot, you hit me!’ Michael said, the damaged limb retreating.

‘You were gunna hit me!’ cried Gavin.

‘So?!’ Michael demanded, twisting around in his seat to get a better position. ‘You’re so dead.’ He grunted, whacking Gavin repeatedly, who screeched loudly in response.

‘Michael!’ he gasped, laughing. ‘Michael, stop!’ he pleaded, making the occasional pained noise as Michael’s fist made contact with his skin.

‘Ladies please.’ Ray admonished smoothly from the driver’s seat. ‘No need to fight over me, there’s enough of me to go around.’

Michael just rolled his arms and twisted around again to face the right way. ‘Gee, sorry Ray, I just couldn’t restrain myself.’ He said sarcastically.

‘Restrain this, bitches!’ Ray shouted, taking one hand from the steering wheel to grab his crotch and thrust up in the air.

‘You’re just irresistible.’ Gavin piped up from the backseat.

‘ _Not_ that, if we had a fight, there’d be any competition.’ Michael argued.

‘Yeah, he’d clearly pick me.’ Gavin agreed. Michael looked shocked that he could even suggest such a thing.

‘You’re kidding, right? There’s no way he’d go for your big nose over my luscious curls and charming nature.’ Michael replied.

Gavin made indignant spluttering noises. ‘That’s mean! My nose is proportional to my face! Anyway, Ray would look past that into the real me, and he’d love me more.’ Michael just snorted. Gavin looked more indignant (if that was possible) and huffed.

‘Ray?’ he asked after a moment of silence.

‘Mmm?’ Ray hummed distractedly.

‘You’d pick me right, over Michael?’ Gavin asked.  Ray opened his mouth and shut it again, speechless. Michael leaned backwards and lashed out, making a satisfied face when Gavin grunted in pain.

‘Idiot, you can’t ask him that.’ Michael chastised. Ray looked relieved. He was about to thank him when Michael interrupted. ‘It’s a leading question. You have to ask it like this: Ray, who would you prefer, me or Gavin?’

Ray took a moment to look at them both before he groaned loudly, giving in to fate and accepting his inevitable role in the ridiculous conversation.

 

‘Well, if I had to choose between you two, it’d probably be…’

 

  
\---

‘Still can’t believe you chose Michael over me.’ Gavin grumbled, hoisting his backpack over his shoulder as he clambered out of the car.

‘You’re honestly surprised? Hell, anyone would pick meover you.’ said Michael, following suit and stepping into the fresh air. Ray laughed as he propped his door open and took a moment to stretch himself out, still in the seat.

‘Michael!’ Gavin whined, pulling a face and looking up.

‘Mi-cool!' Michael mimicked in a whiny tone, shoving Gavin with the other hand. ‘He’s explained it like a million times, _plus_ , I mean, who wouldn’t just choose me in general?’

‘Well to be fair it was a close call, not that I’m remotely gay for either of you. I could personally do _much_ better if I was so inclined.’ Ray called, finally pulling himself into a standing position and copying Gavin, cocking his head back and admiring the sky.

‘It was a dumb reason.’ Gavin complained.

‘You’re a dumb reason.’ Michael shot back.

‘Ooh, got him!’ Ray called.

‘Anyway, I thought it was all rather poetic. Who knew Ray was such a romancer?’ Michael winked, and the three of them headed for the main cabin to register.

‘He just spouted some stupid stuff so he wouldn’t hurt your feelings. What was it again?’ Gavin questioned, spinning in a 360 as they walked to admire their surroundings.

Ray rolled his eyes. ‘Because he’s more like an inferno, and you’re like a whirlwind. And out of the two, I like inferno’s better. Flames and shit, fuckin sweet!’ he cheered, and gestured for Michael and Gavin to stay on the steps while he signed them in.

As he went through the mundane procedures, his mind wandered.

As a matter of fact, he hadn’t even told them the half of his reasoning. He _had_ told them the truth, that he saw Michael as an inferno and Gavin as the whirlwind, and who he’d prefer. But he wouldn't in a million years tell them why.

Michael, in his eyes, _was_ an inferno – fiery, passionate, dangerous, and nearly impossible to control. With the right tools, it could be put out, doused, survived, stopped. But it could never be tamed.

Gavin, on the other hand, _he_ was a whirlwind. He never stopped, a flurry of activity and movement and ideas that sucked you up and pulled you along for the wild ride, uncaring of whether that was what you wanted or not.

Separately, each could be survived. The flames could be doused, the whirlwind avoided.

But mix the two, and you had chaos. Pandemonium. The whirlwind would feed the inferno and it would rage out of control, unstoppable, totally breathtaking in its beauty and utterly deadly in its destruction. And together, the two would continue on its path until the whirlwind died out, leaving the inferno carrying on at a pace that was nothing compared to what it had been until it too was gone, burning away everything there was until there was nothing left to burn.

So while an inferno was destructive enough on its own, sometimes it was the whirlwind you had to watch out for.

That’s why Ray would choose Michael. Gavin was just too… complex.

He almost laughed. It wasn’t ever a word you’d expect to be associated with Gavin, but the Brit just kept surprising everyone. Shaking his head, he realised he’d been staring at the form in front of him for almost a minute.

Coughing awkwardly he quickly signed and dated it, handing it to the lady without a second glance, nodding when she told him the way to the cabin.

‘Thanks!’ he called over his shoulder as he bounded down the steps, skidding to a halt in front of a annoyed looking Michael and a bashful looking Gavin. ‘What’d he do?’ he asked Michael, and Gavin gave an indignant splutter. ‘Are you telling me you didn’t do anything?’ he asked, quirking an eyebrow, and Gavin opened his mouth and shut it.

Ray nodded. ‘Exactly. Anyway, bitches get in, because it’s like a forty minute drive to the cabin.’ He announced, chucking Gavin’s bag back in the car from where he’d dumped it unceremoniously on the ground.

‘Hwaaa!’ Gavin cried as he launched himself through the open window onto the backseat.

‘Gavin! You fucking idiot.’ Michael scalded as he opened the door and sat on the seat in a normal manner.

‘Hwaaa!’ Ray mimicked, commando rolling over the hood to get to his side of the car faster.

‘Nice one X-Ray!’ Gavin called, shooting a smug look at Michael before he settled into the middle seat, kicking his feet up onto the room between the seats.

‘Thanks Vav. Got your back buddy.’ Ray replied, putting the car into gear and beginning the drive.

‘See Michael, that’s what good friends do-’ Gavin was cut off with a squawk when Michael grabbed his foot and yanked his shoe off, dangling it out the window for good measure. ‘What are you doing I _need_ those!’ he cried, unbuckling himself to get a better position of attack.

‘Poor Gavvy Wavvy didn’t bring more than one pair of shooooees.’ Michael said, pulling an overly sympathetic face to match his tone.

‘Michael you’re gunna drop it!’ Gavin cried, reaching around from behind the seat to try and secure a hold on his shoe.

‘I am not, don’t be stupid.’ Michael rolled his eyes. ‘Whoops!’ he cried, pretending to let it go, and Gavin squealed. ‘You’re a fucking idiot!’ Michael laughed, pulling his hand back from the window.

Inspiration struck, and Gavin reached forward again and yanked Michael’s beanie off his head, careful not to accidentally pull his hair.

‘Gavin! Give me that back!’ Michael yelled, twisting around angrily to glare at the aforementioned Lad. When this didn’t achieve the purpose it was supposed to serve he unbuckled completely and crouched in the chair,before he carefully made his way between the seats and into the back, where Gavin was cowering in terror.

‘Give me my fucking beanie!’ Michael yelled again, and started tugging the Brit’s arms apart to get it.

‘Gimme my shoe!’ Gavin shot back. Michael ignored him, focusing on prying his arms open. ‘Ah, that tickles!’ Gavin cried and kicked out.

‘Ah! You almost nutted me! You fucking- you asshole!’ Michael screeched, and proceeded to start wailing on Gavin, who curled in on himself in a pathetic attempt to ward off the blows. Eventually he gave in, holding Michaels beanie out in front of him in a timid gesture of surrender.

Michael snatched it, before hitting him a few more times for good measure. ‘There.’ He said contentedly, and slumped against the seat. ‘Man, beating the shit out of you can sure be tiring.’ He said, blowing a few wayward curls out of his face.

‘You done having sex back there?’ Ray quipped. ‘Is it safe to look?’

‘You would have been looking the whole time, you pervy motherfucker.’ Michael said.

‘I’ve seen better porn.’ Ray admitted. A moment later he blinked. ‘Man, that sounded kinda gay.’ He laughed, and Michael joined him.

‘No need for the excuses, we accept you for who you are. Well, I do. Not Gavin. He hates you.’ Michael said, glancing at Gav as he spoke.

The man in question perked up. ‘Wot?’ he asked. ‘I zoned out.’

‘Really? Thanks, dumbass, we never would have guessed.’ Michael rolled his eyes.

‘Well if you had more interesting conversations it wouldn’t happen.’ Gavin shot back. He paused. ‘What were you talking about?’ he asked sheepishly.

‘You’re serious.’ Michael stated exasperatedly. ‘Never mind. Ray?’ he asked, turning to face Ray once more.

‘What? You comin’ back through?’ Ray replied, still focused on the winding track leading them to their destination.

‘Nah man. I have a very serious question for you.’ Michael said solemnly, watching the rear view mirror as Ray’s eyes flicked to him.

‘Oh boy.’ Ray laughed.

‘I just really need an answer.’ Michael continued, barely managing to suppress the grin threatening to spread across his face. Ray didn’t say anything, just narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

‘Are we there yet?’ Michael and Gavin chorused in tandem, and Ray rolled his eyes theatrically as he glanced at them in the rear view mirror.

‘Yeah boi! Sweet timing!’ Michael cheered, and fist bumped Gavin.

‘How’d I know you were gunna do that?!’ Gavin asked, grinning.

‘I don’t fucking know I’m not in your head! But that was still pretty awesome.’ Michael grinned back, throwing an arm around his boys shoulder. ‘But seriously Ray, we need an answer.’

‘Dude. We’ve been on the road again like ten minutes.’

‘That sucks, I wanna be there now.’ Gavin complained.

‘It must be so terrible for you. How dare you have something not come to you instantly.’ Michael said drily. ‘Oh no, waiting! I’m an impatient fucking idiot huehuehue!’ he cried, pitching his voice high in a terrible imitation of Gavin.

‘It does suck. You suck. Everyone sucks.’ Gavin declared, slinking in his seat dramatically.

‘Everyone sucks? You’re not being dramatic there, _everyone_ sucks?’ Michael asked, and Gavin nodded.

‘I’ll tell my mum you passed on the message.’ Ray quipped, and they all laughed. ‘Anyway, man up, at least you don’t have to try and drive in the rain.’ he complained, leaning forward to try and see better.

‘That’s true. Sucks to be you.’ Michael said happily, and it might not have been an exaggeration to say he almost snuggled down into Gavin’s side.

‘Your support is overwhelming.’ Ray said sarcastically.

 

 

‘That’s what friends are for.’ Michael replied, and he burst into ‘That’s what friends are for’, Gavin catching on and joining in seconds later.

 

 

\---

‘This place is top!’ Gavin declared, spinning in another 360 to admire the surroundings yet again. ‘This place has a homey feel to it. Like the last one, it didn’t have that homey feel, but this one does.’

‘I’m sure it’s rejoicing that it has your blessing.’ Michael said drily, hitching his bag further up his shoulder as they ascended the few steps to the cabin.

‘You like it?’ Ray asked, smiling.

‘I don’t know what else he’d mean by “This place is top” Ray, so I’m pretty sure you’re safe to say that he does indeed think it is top.’ Michael replied.

‘Tippy top!’ They heard Gavin yell from one of the other rooms. He poked his head around the corner a minute later, looking dismayed. ‘Ray, there’s only two other rooms!’

Ray shrugged. ‘So? One of us in each bed and the other on the couch. It’s a fucking _log cabin_ , Gavin; you should be amazed there’s this much.’

‘But I’m gunna end up on the couch!’ Gavin whined.

‘Yeah you are! _Yeah_ you are!’ Michael agreed, pushing past him to admire the inside. ‘Ooh, nice, a double bed. Perfect for, you know…’ he winked. Gavin went a few shades redder.

‘Of course you’d think of that!’ he said and Michael snickered. He dumped his stuff on the bed and grabbed Gavin’s wrist, dragging him out of the room and back to the centre.

‘A fireplace!’ Gavin exclaimed excitedly, heading over to what did appear to be a fireplace.

‘Shit, really? Here, of all places? In a log cabin? But, why would we need that when we have all this central heating- Oh, wait.’ Michael said, sarcasm dripping from his words. ‘You’re a real idiot sometimes, Gav.’ He said.

‘Hey, no killing his buzz. If the man’s excited by a damn fireplace, let him be excited by a damn fireplace.’ Ray said. ‘Anyway, so the storms meant to hit really hard later this arvo slash tonight, so even if we don’t go outside it’ll be fucking awesome from in here.’ He paused and looked suspiciously as the roof. ‘If, you know, this place doesn’t have any leaks.’

‘So, what, we don’t spend all night out there?’ Michael asked, dropping himself down on the couch.

‘That’s why we have a cabin.’ Ray confirmed, still observing his surroundings suspiciously. ‘We don’t even have to go out in it, y’know, it’s just about being smack bam in the middle of it. For me, anyway.’ He shrugged.

‘Sounds sweet.’ Michael said contentedly, before he sat upright. ‘Where’s Gavin?’ he asked.

‘Hmm?’ Ray hummed, still inspecting the ceiling.

‘Stop being so paranoid of the roof and help me find Gavin.’ Michael chastised, getting up.

‘Find Gavin what, I’m right here. I was chucking a piss.’ Gavin said, returning.

‘Some warning would have been nice.’ Michael muttered, flopping back down. Gavin looked taken aback.

‘Warning for when I go to piss?’ he repeated doubtfully.

‘Yes. Shut up.’ Michael glared, swapping around to his stomach. ‘It’s _you,_ Gavin, nobody here puts it past you to get lost in like, point five seconds.’

‘Your faith in him is astounding.’ Ray supplied, sitting down in one of the chairs available in front of the fireplace.

‘It’s fairly placed.’ Michael defended. ‘If he earned it he’d have some.’ He stated.

‘I’m right here.’ Gavin said, plonking down in the remaining chair. Barely a moment passed before he twisted himself around so he was upside down, feet at the top of the chair and head at the bottom, hair hanging down and nearly brushing the floor.

‘Would it kill you to sit normally for once?’ Michael grumbled, his words coming out slightly muffled from where his face was pressed into the couch.

‘Yes.’ Gavin replied simply, and there was a lull in the conversation for a few moments, until Gavin inevitably spoke up again.

 

 

‘Don’t you think it’s a bit weird that we’re all gathered round the fireplace and there isn’t even a fire going?’

 

 

\---

‘You know, congratulations Gavin, you finally contributed something to the conversation that turned out to be worthwhile.’ Michael said seriously, patting him on the back. Gavin just turned around and stuck his tongue out at him.

‘No, he’s got a point. We’re proud of you, Gavin.’ Ray joined in, holding his hand out in a congratulatory handshake. When Gavin batted his hand away playfully Ray just laughed and rolled back over.

The three of them were camped out on the floor of the cabin, laid out on the mismatched rug in front of the flickering fire. The fire that had taken them at least three hours to get going properly.

‘God, you weren’t kidding, it really is lovely out here, Ray.’ Gavin admitted, lolling his head to the side to meet Ray’s eyes. Ray just smiled.

‘Like, legit.’ Michael agreed, and rolled onto his stomach to pull himself up. ‘How far away do you think it is?’ he whispered, and thunder boomed loudly nearby, as if it heard him.

‘Not far.’ Ray whispered back, and a shiver of apprehension passed through the three of them.

‘What’s that trick where you count to see how close it is?’ Gavin asked, nursing his beer. He and Michael were happily tipsy, not quite drunk, and it added to the current of excitement in the air. Ray, perfectly in his element in the centre of a storm, didn’t need any such additive.

‘That’s just it, you idiot.’ Michael said.

‘Yeah.’ chimed Ray. ‘It’s like, when you can only count a second or two between claps of thunder that means the storms right on top of you.’ He told them, and thunder sounded once more.

‘Let’s count it!’ Gavin enthused in a whisper, and when Michael went to say something he hushed him, looking focused. Michael looked slightly indignant, but his face softened when he saw the pure excitement lighting up Gavin’s features, and he stayed quiet.

‘Three… four… five… six… sev-’ Gavin cut himself off as a peal of thunder clapped loudly, and he shivered slightly. ‘So what’s that mean? How far is that?’

‘I don’t know, like seven k’s. We just count in seconds. And when they shorten, then you know that they’re getting closer.’ Ray told him, almost conspiratorially. Michael glanced between him and Gavin, whose face was flickering in the reflection of the fire.

‘Okay okay so, when the next one goes, we’ll count from there again.’ Gavin whispered, taking another sip from his drink. Ray and Michael nodded their agreement, and Michael giggled slightly.

‘I love that we can do this.’ He admitted, and Ray’s grin in response was so enthusiastic Michael found himself grinning back. He’d forgotten that they were meant to be counting until Gavin cried ‘Six!’ loudly and covered his mouth with his hands, nearly knocking his beer over in the process.

‘Why are you covering your mouth?’ Michael asked him, laughing again at the sight. Gavin shrugged and they turned in unison to the window as lightning flashed.

‘Why are we whispering?’ Gavin asked back, and the fact that none of them quite knew struck them as humorous. The ephemeral silence afterwards made the rain pouring down seem louder in comparison, and the moment was broken only by thunder once clapping more.

Gavin sighed contentedly and shifted to face the fire again. ‘Thanks for taking us out here, X-Ray.’ He said, and Ray shook his head.

‘That’s what friends are for, right?’ he replied, and turned to glare at Michael before he could open his mouth. ‘Don’t you dare.’ He warned, and Michael remained silent.

The same couldn’t be said for Gavin, who took the moment to whisper ‘That’s what friends are for.’ in a slightly sing song voice, words running together in the rush to get them out.

‘You just crossed the line.’ Ray declared dramatically, but the fact that he was still whispering made the words come across as not quite so horrendous.

Gavin giggled and looked to the roof as thunder sounded once more. ‘How long till it’s right on top of us?’ he asked, still excited by the prospect.

Ray counted backwards mentally and when the next thunder boomed he had his answer. ‘Not long. It’s like three or four seconds between claps.’ He murmured, and it was almost lost beneath the sound of the wind howling.

‘It’s so _loud._ ’ Gavin whispered in awe.

‘Wait till you get outside. This is what isn’t muffled by the logs.’ Ray replied. Michael looked vaguely impressed.

‘This is so cool.’ Gavin decided, and Michael laughed.

‘You waited till now to decide that?’ he whispered, and Gavin giggled.

‘No, it’s all been cool. But this is decidedly _also_ cool.’ He told him, and Michael rolled his eyes. Gavin fidgeted slightly as he took another drink, admiring the way the thunder made the floor shake. They paused as a gust of wind made the windows rattle, and they glanced at each other.

‘How safe is this cabin again?’ Michael asked.

‘Safe enough. The windows are kind of worrying me though.’ Ray admitted. ‘I don’t know how old or thick they are. Hang on.’ He said, and he stood, making his way to the kitchen area and rummaging around in the cupboard. ‘Here!’ he said triumphantly after only a few seconds.

‘I thought they’d have this. You can see the old marks on the windows.’ He said, making his way towards the rattling panes of glass.

‘What?’ Michael asked, getting up and extending a hand to Gavin, who accepted it gratefully. ‘What has what on it?’

‘The glass has tape marks from last time someone put tape on it to help stop it falling apart.’ Ray replied as he lifted the tape up and put a long line from the top left corner to the bottom right, and repeating it with the other two corners.

‘It gives it more stability.’ He said by way of explanation, and put the tape down on the bench. He gestured for Michael and Gavin to approach and when they did he pointed wordlessly out the window. The skies were dark and heavy, pressing down, and lit up every few seconds by lightning.

‘How close?’ Gavin whispered again, and Ray held up a hand.

‘…now.’ He said, right as thunder slammed, loud and booming above them. Gavin’s face lit up with excitement.

‘That was amazing! Is it right on top of us?’ he asked excitedly, visibly thrumming. Ray nodded.

‘Can we go outside?’ he asked, reaching back and grasping Michaels hand loosely. It took a second for the gesture to sink in with Michael but when it did he squeezed slightly, the warmth from Gavin’s hand making its way up his wrist.

‘You sure?’ Ray asked, but he was already making his way to the door. ‘Nothing in your pockets?’ he snickered, because it would be so like Gavin to go out there with his phone on him. When they both shook their heads he took a deep breath and pulled the door open, shepherding them both outside.

The second they were fully outside the door slammed behind them and the wind buffeted them, knocking them from all directions as the rain lashed down, stinging their faces. Thunder boomed and lightning flashed, illuminating their faces as they ran forward until Ray pulled them to a stop.

‘This way!’ he yelled with a grin, rain dripping off his face already, and tugged Gavin in the direction he was heading. Gavin immediately reached back and grasped Michaels hand again and together they moved forward, up the mountain. It was slippery and wet and occasionally they tripped, but they moved at a fast pace.

Whenever thunder clapped it felt like the whole ground was shaking, and the resounding boom was so loud it hurt their ears. The lightning flashes were continuous, lighting up the entire sky for seconds at a time as Ray led them up the side of the mountain to the top.

Gavin heard Michael yell something, but it was lost in the storm as the wind howled and tore the words from his mouth. When he turned around to make sure he was okay, he was met by a huge smile, eyes flashing with excitement as Michael gripped his slippery hand tight.

The beanie had been left behind, and his curls were stuck to his forehead as the rain pounded relentlessly onto them, and the merciless wind even struggled to blow it about. Gavin felt Ray’s grip around his wrist tighten in wordless encouragement as they neared the peak, and he responded by speeding up slightly.

He almost lost his footing as a huge gust of wind nearly knocked him off his feet, and his cry of surprise went unnoticed as a crack of thunder, one of the loudest yet, shook the ground, the mountain, and the men on it to their very cores.

Gavin felt Ray lean in close and he tilted his head towards his to catch whatever it was he was saying. ‘Almost there!’ he heard, and when he looked up he saw a grin that probably mirrored his own, filled with excitement and happiness and awe and maybe a bit of fear.

The intensity of the storm only heightened the further up they got, and though they weren’t all that far from the cabin, they noticed the difference. The rain was harsher, the lightning more frequent, the thunder impossibly louder and the wind stronger. It was incredible, it was intense and it was amazing and when they arrived at the top, the feeling of standing at the peak of a mountain surrounded by a raging storm creating a confusing mix of insignificance and power.

Gavin stood shoulder to shoulder with Ray as Michael took the final step up to where they were stood upon, and when Gavin turned to smile at him he was struck by how amazing he looked. His lips blue from cold, hair stuck to his forehead and water dripping down his face and off his chin as he smiled.

He looked perfect.

Gavin didn’t even think about it as he leaned in and captured Michael’s lips in a kiss, and the fact that the thunder chose that moment to strike deafeningly only added to the feeling. When his wrist was released by Ray he immediately reached up and cupped Michaels face in his hand, and he smiled into the kiss when he felt Michaels hand knot itself into his soaked hair, restraining some of it from flying wildly in the wind.

They lost their balance temporarily when wind blew heavily against them but the moment was still there, and Michael automatically reached out to steady Gavin as he regained his own balance. When he saw Gavin grin at him he laughed, affection swelling inside him.

He looked past Gavin at Ray, who was watching them with a knowing smile, blinking owlishly every few seconds to stop the water from running in his eyes too much. Michael just smiled at him and Ray reacted with a double thumbs up, and Michael could see he was laughing even if he couldn’t hear anything over the wind howling and his heart racing in his ears.

Ray’s attention was drawn out when the thunder boomed in response to a huge strike of lightning that lit up everything for _miles._ He committed the scene to memory, along with everything else on this trip, and closed his eyes, just relishing in the way the wind pushed him every which way and the rain poured down.

He opened them to see Michael lean in and kiss Gavin, and he smiled again.

_Finally._

Ray waited until they separated before nudging Gavin. He opened his mouth to speak when he was interrupted by a huge thunderclap, and he left his mouth open jokingly while he waited for it to pass. He then had to spit out a mouthful of the rainwater that had collected in the few short seconds, and he saw Gavin laugh and nudge Michael to get his attention, and point to Ray.

Ray raised his voice so he’d be heard. ‘What do you think?’ he asked, even though he could see the response dancing all over their faces, in the way they smiled in excitement and their eyes glittered with awe.

‘It’s actually amazing.’ Michael shouted back, and Gavin nodded his enthusiastic agreement, laughing as the motion caused his soaked hair to spray water everywhere. Ray felt the familiar buzz of adrenaline thrumming in his core, and he was insanely happy that they felt the same way he did. The fact that Michael hadn’t even cracked a joke about it, no ‘It’s alright I guess’, just his straightforward answer helped push it home, and Ray was about to respond when he heard Gavin over the top of the thunder.

‘I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up!’ he was yelling, and Ray grinned. He didn’t look scared that the charge in the air, the current of electricity caused by the constant lightning flashing in the sky, was strong enough to give him goose bumps and that familiar prickly feeling of hair standing on end. He seemed to love it, almost as much as Ray did.

‘I feel like we’re gunna get electrocuted!’ Gavin shouted, a stupid grin splitting his face.

‘Struck by lightning, sounds pretty frightening, but the chances are so small.’ Ray sung, watching the outlines of his friend’s faces as they laughed.

‘Da na na na naa na.’ Michael joined in, having no idea what the lyrics were but knowing the tune. Gavin just kept laughing at them. They reached the chorus together and began belting it out, Michael grabbing Ray’s arm to steady himself.

‘The odds are that weee will probably beeee aaaallright!’ They sung, giggling at each other. Michael picked up the backup singer lines and Ray continued with lead, and when they reached the end of the chorus they burst into laughter again.

‘I don’t know anymore.’ Michael admitted, arm wrapping around Gavin’s waist absentmindedly. Not that he knew much to begin with. Ray just shrugged and turned back to the storm with a grin.

The sky (from what he could see behind the rain absolutely tearing down) was so dark it was nearly black. The thunder was a constant rumble in the background, often peaking into deafening booms that made the adrenaline flood through his body, smashing and rocking the ground in response to the lightning. It was a little dangerous, pretty magnificent and totally awe-inspiring.

But, it couldn’t last forever, and Ray knew it was time.

He leaned in close to his companions, who were holding hands but standing tall against the lashing rain and incredible winds, and he felt a glowing sense of pride.

‘Race you home.’ He challenged as soon as he had their attention, and waited till it dawned on both their faces before he turned tail and ran back the way they came. He glanced back to see Michael hot on his heels, laughing as he tried desperately not to trip, and Gavin a few seconds behind that, mouth open as he screamed but eyes crinkling with happiness.

They rocketed down the mountain, screaming with exhilaration as they slipped and slid and tried to avoid the trees that appeared in front of them without a moment’s notice. It was foggy and dark and they could barely see 10 feet in front of them, but they didn’t slow down in their descent, eventually holding onto each other again as Michael caught up to Ray with Gavin in tow and gripped a cold hand around his wrist.

Eventually, after what only seemed like seconds, their run evened out onto level ground and they were there, panting and laughing back in front of the cabin. Ray tugged the door open and stepped just inside, Michael a moment behind him and Gavin just after that.

He tugged the door shut behind them and they collapsed, gasping and still laughing and completely out of breath, exhausted and yet full of energy and adrenaline from the race back home and the entire adventure. When they’d regained their breath enough to speak, Ray stood slowly and tugged his shirt off.

‘Stay here.’ He managed, and headed off to get towels. When he returned, Gavin was sprawled shirtless by the fire but Michael remained waiting loyally by the door. Ray tossed him his towel and threw the other one at Gavin. ‘Get off the rug.’ He commanded, stepping onto the wooden floors himself.

‘You’ll get everything wet.’ He explained as he towelled himself off. When he was dry enough he headed back into his room and grabbed his change of clothes, dressing quickly before heading back out to the warmth of the fire. He was met by Gavin giggling at Michael, who looked exasperated but was still smiling.

‘His lips were blue!’ Gavin squealed, bending over and rubbing his hair dry. He stood back up and Ray laughed at the sight of his hair standing half dried and on end. He knew Michael saw it too by the muffled snicker he heard. ‘Laugh away, It’s _al naturale_.’ Gavin smirked, and Michael just laughed harder.

‘Go get changed, you idiot.’ Michael gasped eventually. In response Gavin flopped back down.

‘But I’m comfy.’ Gavin complained, rolling over and snuggling into the rug to express his comfort. Michael scoffed at him as he ducked into his bedroom, returning momentarily with sweatpants on and tugging his singlet over his head. He’d barely accomplished this before he collapsed dramatically next to the still wet Gavin in front of the fire.

Ray rolled his eyes and carried his wet clothes over to the basin, beginning to wring them out and peg them up to dry. ‘I feel like an old lady in like, the 1800’s doing this.’ He complained. Michael blearily lifted his head to observe.

‘Oh, hey, thanks Ray.’ He said.

Ray shook his head. ‘Oh, no no no, you’re doing your own shit, I’m not your slave.’

‘You’re just the best.’ Michael said, dropping his bead back down with a thud.

‘I’m still up for getting that megaphone if you can’t hear me well.’ Ray retorted as he pegged up the final article of clothing.

‘Be careful with my shirt.’ Michael continued.

Ray spun around with his hands on his hips. ‘You know, I’m feeling pretty oppressed right now, I have my rights. This is the 21st century and I refuse to be conned into slave labour.’

Michael didn’t even bother to lift his head when he replied ‘Pants are on my bed I think, chop chop.’

‘Oppression isn’t rule.’ Ray said as he gave in and entered the bedroom Michael had claimed as his own, scooping his dripping clothes off the floor with a mildly disgusted expression.

‘You sure? Cause you seem to be bowing down to the superior white races orders.’ Michael said daintily, pulling himself upright. He rubbed his eyes with one hand, opening them just in time to get a face full of wet shirt. ‘Dude, what the fuck?!’ he exclaimed, spluttering.

He peeled the shirt off his face to see Ray punching the air in victory. ‘Don’t give in! Don’t give up!’ Each sentence was punctuated by another victory punch. ‘Fighting for Puerto Rican rights since 2013!’ he cheered.

‘You’re fucking retarded. Dude, you’re almost more retarded than Gavin. Isn’t that right Gavvers?’ Michael nudged the man in question, who responded with peeking one eye open and making a vaguely questioning noise.

‘Just agree.’ Michael said. Gavin just shrugged and closed his eyes again. Michael grinned and forced himself into a standing position, grabbing the wet shirt as he stood and twisting it into a whip. He snuck a glance at Ray, who gave him a thumbs up of encouragement, and he backed up a step before leaning forward and whipping Gavin on the ass with a satisfying _crack!_

Gavin made a noise discernible to a shout and scrambled up, nearly hitting his head on the grate as he backed away, eyes wide with surprise and a look of shock on his face. Michael dissolved into laughter at the expression, and Gavin made a pouty face at him. ‘Why would you do that, you dope? I could have died!’ he cried.

Michael only laughed harder. ‘You should have… seen your face…’ he managed, before he was interrupted by Gavin lunging for the shirt. ‘Oh no you fucking don’t! What was that, Gavin? You were gunna get me back?’ he demanded, curling the shirt up again.

‘No Michael! I wasn’t! Honest!’ Gavin cried, backing away.

‘No? What were you gunna do then? Because I’m _pretty_ sure you were gunna try and get me back.’ Michael said, narrowing his eyes as he advanced, coiling the shirt tighter. He flicked it out with a snap, only to hit thin air as Gavin dodged.

‘Oh, suck it boi!’ Gavin yelled. He squealed as another flick was directed at him but he avoided it once more, and he danced out of the way of Michael, who was narrowing him into the kitchen area. ‘Can’t touch this! Dun na na na, na na, na na can’t touch this dun na na- _Ah!’_ he cut off with a squeal as he felt Ray’s hands clamp securely around his shoulders, and he tried desperately to get free as Michael closed the distance between them with a dangerous glint.

‘What was that, Gavvy? What were you saying?’ He asked, voice innocent and pure, but the look on his face screamed murder.

‘Nothing! I wasn’t saying anything! Hey Michael –uh, have I uh, have I ever told you how pretty you look today?’ Gavin tried, struggling fruitlessly against Ray’s grip on him. Michael just raised an eyebrow.

‘Yeah! And did you do something with your hair? Because it looks fabulous!’ he continued weakly, voice trailing off when Michael raised the twisted shirt in warning.

‘Are you saying my hair doesn’t always look fabulous?’ Michael asked menacingly.

Gavin squeaked.

‘I’m not hearing a no. Ray, are you hearing a no?’ Michael asked, turning to Ray questioningly.

‘Can’t say I’ve heard any such thing.’ Ray shrugged, tightening his grip as Gavin used the distraction to try and struggle free.

‘Shame. I guess I’ll have to do _this._ ’ Michael punctuated the last word with a whip of the shirt, and Gavin cried out pleadingly.

‘No don’t! Mi-cool _please!_ I’ll do anything!’ he wailed, laughing even as the whip left a red mark against his skin.

Ray snorted and Michael dissolved into giggles once more. ‘Dude, you made that sound so gay, we’re not in a porno.’ Michael said, relenting. ‘Michael, don’t hit me anymore, I would _hate_ that! Oh no, Ray, don’t hold me down! I’ll do aaaanything!’

At this Ray pulled a face and let go of Gavin, who immediately pranced away.

‘You made me feel dirty.’ Ray complained, trying not to laugh.

‘Does our playfulness offend your delicate senses?’ Michael laughed. ‘Do we come across as, heaven forbid, _gay?’_ he asked jokingly.

‘Hey man, no homo here!’ Ray defended, holding up his hands. ‘Although you guys have free license to be as homo as you want.’

‘Not that we’d ever take advantage of that.’ Michael said seriously, holding his right hand up to God.

‘Yeah!’ Gavin chimed in from across the room.

Ray just snorted. ‘You’re kidding me right? You two are gayer than Ken.’

‘You mean like Ken from Barbie and stuff?’ Michael asked, unravelling his shirt and wringing the little water left in it out into the sink.

‘Oooh, I loved him!’ Gavin said, poking his head up from where he’d lain back down.

‘You know, somehow, that really doesn’t surprise me.’ Ray said honestly, rummaging around in his backpack for food.

‘Not even a little bit.’ Michael agreed, hanging his pants up.

‘Are you guys being mean? Cause somehow, I get the feeling that you guys are being mean.’ Gavin said suspiciously. Ray shook his head, the picture of innocence.

‘Ray and I fully support your homosexual tendencies.’ Michael said solemnly.

‘Well, I do. _He’s_ just kidding. Look at him, he’s got a wife beater on.’ Ray pointed out. Michael looked down at himself to discover he was, indeed, wearing a wife beater singlet.

‘You got me. I put this on as warning. Don’t be acting gay, or else.’ He said threateningly, cracking his knuckles.

‘Yeah, or else he’ll have to come _help out._ ’ Ray joked quietly.

‘Sorry Ray, what was that?’ Michael asked. ‘Did I hear – Oh fucking _sweet,_ dude, we got hotdogs and marshmallows! This is cool as dicks!’ he declared, approaching Ray and picking up the aforementioned food items and inspecting them happily.

‘We can have little campfires and roast marshmallows and tell stories…’ he sing-songed as he continued rifling through the items.

‘And touch dicks.’ interjected Ray.

‘And touch dicks.’ Michael confirmed, still admiring the marshmallow packet. ‘What the fuck is wrong with this?’ he demanded, tearing open the packet and retrieving one lone marshmallow.

A marshmallow that looked totally deformed.

‘Dude, look at it!’ he laughed, holding it up. Ray took one look at it and burst into laughter. ‘Gavin, get over here, this one looks just like you!’ he yelled, and Gavin scrambled up excitedly.

‘Really?’ Gavin cried, nearly falling over as he slid to a stop. ‘Aw lookit, it’s so cute!’ he crooned, plucking the marshmallow from Michael’s fingers and holding it gingerly. ‘Thanks, Michael.’ He said appreciatively and made his retreat, marshmallow still cradled gently in his arms.

Ray just looked after him confusedly. ‘Oookay.’ He nodded, and opened the hotdogs. ‘Hey, I didn’t even think about it, but we’re gunna be sitting around a fire, all alone and secluded from society, half naked and eating sausages.’

Michael laughed loudly. ‘Damn right we are! It’ll be like boy scouts all over again.’

‘Boy, I’d hate to have had your experiences.’ Ray shuddered jokingly.

‘What, you didn’t have penis inspection day with your counsellors too?’ Michael asked worriedly, clutching Ray and looking him full in the face. Ray just scoffed, mouth full of marshmallow.

‘Can’t say I did. I sure had that with the cheerleading team though.’

‘All of them?’

‘You bet your ass all of them!’ Ray declared.

Michael rolled his eyes before grabbing a few cans of drink and approaching Gavin’s form lying in front of the fire. ‘Wake up, sleeping beauty.’ He coaxed, nudging Gavin with his foot. When this received no response he frowned and put more force into his nudging.

When this still received no result he decided to be nice, and instead of kicking him or pouring the soft drink on his face like he wanted to, Michael sunk down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently.

‘Wot?’ Gavin mumbled, apparently half asleep.

‘Dude, sleep later, eat now.’ Michael said.

‘Ah, brevity is the soul of wit.’ Ray said as he joined them in their little sitting arrangement. Michael gave him a weird look.

‘You sound like Ryan.’ He said, and reached out for the hotdogs before he stopped. ‘How are we going to eat these?’ he asked.

‘With our mouths…?’ Ray replied confusedly.

‘No, idiot, how are we going to cook them?’ Michael elaborated impatiently.

‘Oh!’ Realisation dawned. ‘Don’t worry, I picked up things earlier.’

That didn’t help Michael any. ‘Things?’ he asked, requesting an explanation. Ray held up a finger and leant back, straining to reach his backpack and eventually succeeding. When he did he tugged it forward and removed four sticks.

‘Duh.’ Was all he said, and he handed the necessary number of sticks out before stuffing the remaining one back in his bag.

‘You had fucking sticks in your back?’ Michael asked doubtfully, accepting the offered item.

Ray shrugged. ‘Aren’t you glad I did?’ he said, and he had a point.

‘Weirdo.’ Michael teased anyway, and waved the stick that had remained untouched in front of Gavin. ‘Earth to dumbass, you alive?’ he knocked gently on Gavin’s head, who swatted him away half-heartedly.

‘I’m just tired.’ He complained, but he perked up significantly when he saw the bag of marshmallows. ‘I forgot we had those!’ he exclaimed, bypassing the hotdogs completely in favour of the bagged sweets.

‘Dude that was like, five minutes ago, how the fuck did you forget already.’ Michael chastised.

‘I’m gunna eat _all_ of these!’ Gavin cheered as he dug into the bag.

‘Oh no you’re not.’ Ray intervened, yanking the bag away and placing it in his lap.

‘Aw, but-’ Gavin’s explanation was cut off as Michael waved a cooked hot dog in front of his face. ‘I don’t want a hotdog Mi-cool, I want marshmallows.’ He whined, making grabby hands at the bag.

‘Too bad, asshole. Dinner first then desert.’ Michael lectured.

‘I feel sorry for your parents.’ Ray said as Gavin grudgingly opened his mouth and accepted a meagre bite of the hotdog. He swallowed, looking as if it pained him greatly to do so, and looked hopefully back at Michael, who shook his head.

‘Nope. Eat all of it and _then_ you can have marshmallows.’ He commanded, and Gavin looked stricken.

‘But I won’t have enough room in my stomach if I eat the entire thing!’ he cried, and Michael huffed a laugh.

‘That’s too fucking bad then, isn’t it. Now eat.’ With one last threatening wave of the hotdog in Gavin’s face he palmed it off to him, watching him carefully to make sure he ate it all while Gavin glared at him and nibbled at it half-heartedly.

There was a pause.

‘So, I mean, you two _are_ getting married, right?’


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: NSFW. 
> 
> AKA smut. Pure, good old fashioned smut.  
> It's a short chapter but I hope you enjoy :)

When Michael woke they were still by the fire, which had dwindled and nearly died out. He blinked a few times to clear the sleep from his eyes and raised his head blearily. He could only make out one shape beside him, and upon further inspection it turned out to be Gavin, which meant at some point over the night Ray had retreated to his own room.

As he poked the fire a few times, Michael checked his phone. No signal, not that he expected any, but that wasn’t what he was looking for. He squinted, waiting for his eyes to adjust so he could make out the time as he listened to the rain pour onto the roof.

Half past two in the morning. Couldn’t say he was surprised. He was about to roll over and go back to sleep when the figure next to him shuffled and stretched slightly, reaching out until their hands brushed.

‘Whoops, sorry Michael.’ Gavin mumbled.

‘It’s fine.’ Michael replied, snuggling down into the bedding they’d dragged out after dinner. ‘Did I wake you?’ he asked.

‘Nah. Maybe.’ Gavin replied, and Michael chuckled.

‘Sorry.’ He whispered, and he saw Gavin wave a hand dismissively.

‘You been awake long?’ Gavin asked quietly, and he barely made out the slight shake of Michaels head. There was a short lull in the conversation.

‘Michael?’ Gavin asked quietly, and he felt a slight pang of regret when he saw the curly haired man blink himself awake again. ‘Sorry, go back to sleep.’ He whispered.

‘Nah, s’good.’ Michael murmured, and shuffled over so that they were touching. Gavin froze, before he lifted his leg and Michael scooted in closer, shifting his leg between Gavin’s two and interlacing their arms.

‘You cold?’ Gavin asked, when a shiver raced through Michael.

‘Nah.’ There was a short pause where Gavin’s eyebrows furrowed confusedly. ‘Not cold.’ _Oh._ The space between them suddenly seemed a bit smaller. ‘How could I, when you’re a fucking heat source?’

Gavin chuckled. ‘I’m not that warm, you dope. I’m normal temperature.’

‘Nu-uh.’ Michael disagreed. ‘Feel the difference here?’ he asked, lacing his fingers with Gavin’s.

‘That’s cause I’m closer to the fire.’ Gavin whispered.

‘Nu-uh.’ Michael said again, pressing closer. He scrunched his nose slightly when he felt Gavin’s warm breath blow across his face, and he peeked an eye open. ‘What?’ he mumbled.

‘Nothing. You look cute.’ Gavin murmured, and Michael opened his eyes fully.

The fire was flickering on the other man’s face, dancing across his features and reflecting in his eyes. Michael felt his heart start racing, but instead of ignoring it he tilted his head up gently, nudging at Gavin’s nose with his own.

Gavin giggled quietly, and leaned forward to press his lips slowly against Michael’s. Unlike their first kiss, which was passionate and urgent and just as incredible as the thunderstorm around them, this kiss was gentle, languid – as sweet and slow as the other was fiery and intense.

Michael’s lips were warm and tasted like marshmallows and sugar, and Gavin instinctively flicked out with his tongue, running it along Michael’s bottom lip and drawing a light moan from the other man. Michael opened his mouth and let Gavin in, but instead of a battle for dominance, they took their time exploring and tasting each other.

Neither of them were in any hurry to pull away, especially with Ray snoring in the other room, so instead of ending the kiss Michael moaned again lightly and shuffled so he could wrap his arms around the Brit, curling a hand in his hair and using it to push him closer.

When Gavin responded in kind, kicking his leg around Michael’s waist and tugging them together so they lay flush against each other, Michael took his lower lip into his mouth and sucked gently. Gavin automatically pushed up with his hips, looking for friction, and both men groaned when their half hard cocks brushed against each other through the fabric of their pants.

Michael rolled them so he was on top, and the slow kisses quickly grew more urgent. Michael tugged Gavin’s hair gently, rolling his hips against the other mans and swallowing the soft noise Gavin made with his mouth.

Gavin kicked his leg up and hooked it over Michael’s waist again, and wasted no time in using it to push Michael further down, rolling his own hips up so that they rubbed together with more force. Getting the hint, Michael bit harder on Gavin’s lower lip and ground down hard, a moan escaping at the sensation.

Wordlessly he reached down between them and grasped Gavin’s cock in his hand, admiring the length and feel for a moment before Gavin bucked into his hand and Michael tightened his grip, slowly pumping up the entire length, watching with pleasure as the British man’s eyes fluttered shut.

After a few pumps Michael let go, worming his hand out of Gavin’s pants only to pull them down a second later.

Gavin remained shirtless from earlier, but Michael hadn’t taken his off, so he took a moment to lean back  and quickly pull his shirt over his head, diving back down to capture Gavin’s lips with a kiss immediately after.

He shivered as he felt Gavin’s hands wandering the planes of his back, lightly at first but then digging in as they picked up their rhythm from before, bucking and grinding against each other, biting back moans and emitting small gasps as they rutted together.

Gavin quickly grew impatient with this and reached questioningly for Michael’s pants, breaking the kiss to get a breathy ‘Yes’ before he quickly slid the sweatpants down, revealing a smooth cock bobbing underneath. He made a wordless noise of appreciation before gently nudging Michael over, taking his place on top.

Michael traced his hands over Gavin’s face before he wrapped a hand in his hair again. His breath caught as Gavin gave him a cheeky grin, face flushed and breathing hard, and started kissing down his chest. His fingers ran teasingly up his sides and around his pelvis before blunt nails scraped gently at the insides of Michael’s thighs and Michael tensed, sucking in a breath as he felt Gavin start licking gently around the base of Michael’s cock.

After a moment Michael huffed impatiently, and he felt Gavin’s breathy chuckle against the tip of his dick and suddenly a warm mouth was around it and he moaned, bucking up instantly into the wet heat. He whispered a quick ‘Sorry’ because this was Gavin, and the man had a hair trigger gag reflex, but there didn’t seem to be any hard feelings.

Gavin proved this  assumption wrong when he wrapped a hand around the base of Michael’s dick and begin to jack, simultaneously licking and kissing the tip gently. Michael took it back. The bastard was getting revenge.

Gavin continued to tease him, giving tiny little kitten licks and light kisses until Michael moaned impatiently, and Gavin allowed himself a self-satisfied smirk before he leaned in and took as much of Michael down his throat as he could. The little gasp he heard gave him confidence and he hollowed out his cheeks and sucked, doing his best to keep his teeth well out of the way.

‘God…’ he heard Michael moan, and he pulled away for a second to get a better look at the man’s face. Michael took the opportunity to pull him up, kissing away any doubts Gavin had and reaching behind him blindly for his wallet.

After a moment his hand closed around it and he dragged it over, opening it and retrieving a condom from within. He looked at Gavin questioningly, tipping his head up to look him in the eyes, and after a moment Gavin nodded.

There was a moment of awkwardness which was broken by Michael laughing slightly, leaning in to kiss him again, like he couldn’t get enough of it. Which really, he couldn’t. Gavin tasted sweet and smelled like smoke and rain, and Michael could have kissed him all day.

And he planned to, right after he tended to other matters. He rolled the condom on with a practiced hand, using the other to trace a line down the middle of Gavin’s back. Gavin squirmed, and Michael bit back a grin as he continued to trace down the curve of Gavin’s ass. He paused, a frustrated noise escaping him, and when Gavin cocked his head at him curiously he bit back a sigh.

'Lube's in my bag.'

Gavin huffed. 'Go get it then, love.'

With a keen sense of regret at the cold air that washed over him, Michael did so, scrambling up and hating every moment out of the warmth and security of the fire. He was quick, as much as he could be with one hand covering his junk, and only seconds had passed before he returned to Gavin. He was captivated for a moment - the flickering of the fire reflected from Gavin's eyes, and when his eyelashes fluttered they made shadows dance on his face.

After a few more moments, the urgency returned, and Michael was back on the makeshift bed, replacing his hand to where it had been before after he coated a finger. He dipped down to kiss him, distracting him as he ran his finger gently around his hole, and after a moment teased it in, pushing in with a smooth motion.

He watched Gavin’s face scrunch uncomfortably, and he squirmed slightly to get away from the intrusion, but after a moment he relaxed. Michael kissed gently down the curve of his jaw and bit his neck lightly, trying to distract Gavin as he eased another finger in.

This time it took longer for him to adjust, but it looked like he enjoyed it more, and Michael slowly began to push them in and out. He felt Gavin squirm again, but when Michael crooked his fingers slightly on the fourth push he felt himself brush against something, and Gavin bucked beneath him.

Michael aimed for the spot again, and after another try he succeeded, and he continued to hit it for a few more goes, his own erection straining as he watched Gavin buck and writhe beneath him, mouth open and eyes closed in pleasure. He took a moment to pop open the lube container and squeeze a liberal amount onto his free hand, generously coating his dick while he scissored and stretched the man laid out beneath him.

Getting impatient, Michael added a third finger, only bothering to stretch him for a few more moments before he pulled out, wiping his fingers unworriedly on the rug beneath them. Gavin, who’d opened his eyes and was frowning in displeasure at the lack of stimulation, sucked in a breath and closed his eyes once more when he felt the tip of Michael’s dick nudge against his hole.

Michael leaned in to kiss him as he pushed gently, moaning involuntarily as he felt the tight heat that was Gavin surround him, and he couldn’t help pushing in a little further. He heard a quiet intake of breath and stopped, but when Gavin let out a breathy little moan and bucked against him, Michael threw caution to the wind and slid all the way in, bottoming out.

After a moment to let Gavin adjust, he pulled back out and pushed in again, and when Gavin moaned he repeated the motion. He collapsed onto his forearms as he focused on getting a rhythm and Gavin wrapped both his legs around Michael’s waist, using it to push Michael further in and give them better leverage. When Michael felt him gasp he knew he’d hit that same spot.

He quickly discovered the angle that allowed him to hit it every time, and after a few more pushes they were both moaning and gasping, Michael’s dick growing impossibly harder watching Gavin coming undone beneath him, moaning Michael’s name as he pushed back up to meet him. It was by far the hottest moment of Michael’s life, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer.

Though from the sounds Gavin was making, that didn’t sound like it was a problem. He was whimpering and writhing, digging his nails down Michael’s back hard enough to leave marks, but that only spurred Michael on. He gave up on doing anything besides fucking into him, moaning Gavin’s name over and over as grabbed Gavin’s dick and pushed him over the edge with a few quick pumps.

Michael followed him over moments after, the sensation of Gavin tightening around him proving too much, and he gave a few final thrusts as the shockwaves rolled through him, making his entire body tighten as the pleasure rolled through him.

When it finished they lay like that for a moment longer, panting and out of breath, until Michael groaned and heaved himself up, pulling out as gingerly as he could. He pulled off the condom and knotted it, throwing it in his bag and hissing a quiet ‘Yes!’ when it landed in.

Following that he just collapsed, recovering for a few moments before he glanced over at Gavin, who was looking at him shyly. Michael’s breath caught in his throat.

Gavin’s lips were red and swollen, courtesy of being bitten and kissed with fervour. His hair was a mess, wild and sticking up, but instead of looking silly it looked ridiculously attractive. His eyes were shining and his face was flushed, and he looked so _debauched_ , so incredibly _fuckable_ that if he wasn’t so exhausted Michael would have taken him again right then and there.

As it was though, he was exhausted, so he leaned over and kissed him once more before he flopped down onto the floor, eyes already closed and halfway to asleep by the time he hit the pillow. Gavin smiled affectionately and kissed him lightly on the forehead before he too lay back down, snuggling into Michael, who unconsciously reached out and drew him close.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, the stories nearly over ;-;  
> I hope you enjoy, only a few chapters left.
> 
> read & review, yo

Michael awoke to a muffled curse and the thud of a foot hitting the ground too heavily. Blearily, he forced his eyes open a crack to identify the intruder and was met by a petrified looking Gavin.

‘Um?’ He managed, one eye making its eye shut while he rubbed futilely at the other.

‘Uh.’ Gavin articulated back, still frozen in place. He came to his senses and cleared his throat, straightening up. ‘I was just… my clothes.’ He said, leaving a lot to be explained. It took Michael a moment or two to realise, and then another moment to remember the events of the night before.

His eyes flew open (of course they obeyed _now_ ) and he sucked in a small breath, looking back up at Gavin who was meeting his gaze somewhat hesitantly. ‘Shit!’ he managed, blinking a few times. He didn’t notice the way Gavin averted his eyes, suddenly fascinated in the floor.

Michael briefly thought of bringing it up, but god _damn_ dude it was too fucking early for that shit. They were consenting adults, they’d kissed before, and Gavin wasn’t exactly running away in fear. He decided he’d leave it for now, until he’d had a few more hours sleep and felt like he could open his eyes without disintegrating into a pile of death.

He felt his hangover setting in; the long black cloud of grogginess and grump that would leave him in a horrible mood until he downed some Tylenol or at the least, drank a frankly ridiculous amount of water. He rubbed at his forehead, face pinching at the thought of nursing a headache all day. ‘Fuck!’ he cursed for good measure and flumped back down, pulling the stray blankets over his eyes and protecting them from the light.

He didn’t watch Gavin leave, only heard him, so he had no way of seeing the mixture of hurt and dismay flash across the other man’s face. If he’d been paying attention, he might have noticed how the footsteps sounded heavy and how they dragged across the floor, incredibly unlike Gavin’s usual light, skipping steps.

The only thing he was paying attention to was his increasing headache, and he realised on a distant level that he should probably get up and drink some water to at least ward it off enough for him to sleep. Deciding that he was fucking brilliant for thinking through his hangover induced haze (seriously, when the _fuck_ did he get that fucking drunk?) he gave himself a mental pat on the back and steeled himself to rise.

It took perhaps a bit longer than it should have but he managed, and wandered towards the sink to fill his glass of water before he realised that _holy Jesus_ he needed to piss _._ So after chugging the rest of the water (and another for good luck) he heaved himself up and meandered outside, ignoring the piece of shit cabin toilet in favour of going bush.

He found a spot suitable just around the corner of the cabin, decently out of view but still within sight of it. The relief he felt during and for a few moments after quickly faded into the natural bleariness of his hangover, and he grumpily trudged back towards his bed.

He didn't even see Gavin hovering at the stairs, too engrossed in trying to remember just how much alcohol he had last night, and he arrived back at his makeshift bed just in time to face plant onto the not so soft bedding.

He groaned, cursed, rubbed his sore nose and snuggled back down, prepared to sleep until they had to go. That plan was going splendidly until Ray walked in literally  seconds after he found a comfortable position, announcing it was time to go.

'Rise and shine!' He cried, reaching over and ruffling Michael’s hair. Michael muttered something under his breath that was something along the lines of 'If you don't shut your whore mouth I _will_ cut your dick off' but it went ignored by Ray.

'Michaeeel.' He called, and Michael popped his head out from under the covers, gracing him with a glare that would have put lesser men to tears. Ray, as it was, was unaffected. 'Good morning, starshine. The Earth says hello!'

'Ray god _damn_ it get your Peurto Rican ass out of my fucking face or-'

'Now now Michael, we don't have time for your grumpiness. We have a home trip to attend to.' Ray chastised. He was still running on the high of the past day and was just generally in a good mood.

'Now?' Michael whined.

'Yep! Now, ass up, outta bed. You can sleep in the car.' Ray decided. 'Gavin's packing his shit. You know he brought a fucking bathrobe?' He sniggered, and Michael opened his eyes for that.

'Seriously?' He asked, and Ray nodded. 'What a fucking idiot!' He laughed, and it gave him enough energy to haul himself up.

'Raaaay?' He whined, and Ray turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

'I hate to sound like every parent in the world, but it's probably gunna be no to whatever you want.' Ray replied.

'If I take my bedding and pack my bag can I go sleep in the car?' Michael asked, blinking at him owlishly. Ray shrugged.

‘Whatever floats your boat man, as long as you get the fuck up. Come on people, assholes and elbows, let’s go!’

'Yay.' Michael replied unenthusiastically. He didn't bother changing, simply picked up all the bedding he was lying on, slung his backpack over one shoulder and made a beeline for the car. He threw his bedding down in the backseat and proceeded to flump onto it, spreading out in all his glory and more than happy to remain that way until they'd have to leave.

Ray laughed at his antics and spun around, noting with a practiced eye everything they had yet to pick up. Michael had forgotten the clothes he had hanging up, but it wasn't exactly an unforgivable mistake, so Ray grabbed them for him and shoved it in his own bag.

At this point Gavin re-entered, scratching the back of his head and looking his own shade of dismal as he grabbed his clothes from next to Ray.

'You alive there, buddy?' Ray asked, scrutinising him. 'You hungover too?'

Gavin shook his head before reconsidering not answering, pursing his lips in thought. 'You think Michael's mad at me?' He asked, and Ray's first instinct was to back out of the conversation, hands up, and tell them to sort their private shit out themselves.

But a bro was a bro, and it wasn't like they hadn't become closer lately.

'Uh... no?' Ray offered, silently congratulating himself on avoiding anything that could have led to a potential trap.

'I think he is.' Was all Gavin said, doing a spin to admire the room.

'Nah he's not. He's fine, you'll see.' Ray said. He hadn't been deaf to some of the going on's of last night, as much as he'd wished he had been at the time. Lying awake at god knows what time of the morning, listening to the heavy breathing and soft moans of your two best friends going at it wasn't exactly high on his to do list.

He felt slightly nauseated.

' _Actually,_ speaking of, um, that... for the love of God, if you plan to have sex, at least do it where I'm never, ever going to know about it. I'm pretty sure it's branded into my mind forever.' Ray said sadly, drawing a giggle out of Gavin.

'Seriously, give a guy a heads up next time. Please.' Ray pleaded, cringing from the mental images assaulting his brain.

Gavin stopped giggling. 'I don't think you need to worry about it. I don't think there'll be a next time.' He said quietly, spiking Ray's curiosity despite his hesitance to breach the topic.

'What do you-'

'We got everything, yeah?' Gavin interrupted. Ray frowned at him before glancing around, plucking a discarded shirt out from behind a chair and throwing it at Gavin, where it landed squarely on his chest.

'Yeah we do. Let's split.' Ray declared, and they headed out together to the car. They piled in, Gavin climbing into the front seat without a word of protest.

Michael poked his head up, having half expected the Brit to climb into his impromptu sleeping setup, and felt a small stab of disappointment when he didn't. Shrugging, he buried his face back into the pillows and sighed contentedly.

He just needed Gavin beside him.

'So, I mean, how's everyone going?' Ray asked into the silence, beginning to drive. 'Not gunna lie, the tension is almost palpable. You guys should just fu-'

'Ray!' Gavin squealed, at the same time Michael growled out a threat that went unheard.

'I'm just saying, I'm all up for-'

'Ray I swear to God-'

‘Fine. I won’t say a word. Zip.’ Ray said, miming zipping his lips and throwing away the key.

'Thank you.' Michael sighed exasperatedly, dropping his head down again. He didn't mean to be so grumpy, but it was hard to be chipper with a head full of death.

He was overreacting and he knew it, but he didn't want to face the day just yet. Every painful movement reminded him of his withdrawal stage before, and he was desperate to keep his mind off it. Being the idiot he was, of course, it didn't occur to him that talking and chatting and generally having a good time could have done that twice as fast.

‘You know, I never understood that little mime thing. I mean, I get zipping your lips, but when you throw away the key? What part of it did you lock? Where’s the locking motion? Why do you have to throw it away, like, are you never going to talk again?’ Ray filled the silence as he drove, completely disregarding what he’d just said.

He didn't need to look in the rear view mirror to see the glare being burned into the back of his neck. He gave in with an internal sigh.

‘Good guy Ray, asking the real questions in life.’ He complimented himself, and settled in for the drive back.

 

\---

Gavin was dreading the moment they’d pull up in front of the Ramsey residence. His house was first on the line, and he knew that Geoff would invite them all in and make them tell him all about it. Griffon would suss something out within seconds, share a look with Geoff, and one of them would lead him off to talk about it while the other would play host with Michael and Ray.

He seriously wished they could drop Michael off first, so neither of them would be subjected to anything he didn’t want, but it’d just raise suspicion.

So it was with awkward smiles and hesitant steps (for Gavin, at least) that they accepted Geoff’s offer to crash for a while and fill him in on what had happened.

‘Dude, is Michael actually sleeping?’ Geoff laughed, leaning through the open back window to poke Michael’s sleeping form. Ray glanced backwards to see that Michael was, in fact, asleep – face slack and mouth slightly open.

‘Wow, I thought he was just ignoring us the whole time.’ He said, nudging Gavin.

The fact that Michael had been sleeping did little towards convincing Gavin that he wasn’t purposely ignoring and avoiding them. Well, Gavin, at least. He just assumed he’d done it so he could have a legitimate excuse for his actions.

‘Yeah.’ Gavin shrugged, grabbing his stuff and heading past Geoff to the house.

‘You’re not gunna wake him up, Gav?’ Geoff asked, fatherly concern lacing his voice. Gavin turned back and pulled a face.

‘Nah, let him sleep. He obviously needs the rest.’ He said, and continued back up. Ray snorted.

‘Yeah, I’ll bet he does.’ He muttered, following suite. Geoff scratched at the fuzziness that was the beginning of his beard, glancing back at Michael and debating whether he should be awoken and led inside, away from the baking heat that the car would soon accumulate, or left to sleep.

Meh. Not his problem.

He turned on his heel and entered his house, sans Michael, where Gavin had collapsed onto the couch and Ray had wandered off, presumably to hunt down a bathroom.

Jack and Ryan were sitting on the computer and kitchen chairs respectively, engrossed in their own individual work.

‘You assholes still here?’ Geoff directed to them, and Ryan looked at him with disdain.

‘You’re the one that requested we both be here.’ He pointed out, and Geoff narrowed his eyes in thought.

‘Good point. We’ll get around to that later.’ He said, and Ryan immediately turned back to his work. Jack hadn’t even looked their way. Geoff made his way over to the couch.

‘You okay, Gav?’ Geoff asked, concern growing when Gavin looked up at him with a pitiful expression.

‘I’ve muffed everything up.’ Gavin admitted. Geoff laughed.

‘You always fuckin’ do that. Come on and tell daddyo Geoff what your problem is.’ He said, sitting down next to Gavin. After a moment Gavin lifted himself up and flopped forward a bit, so that his head was now residing on Geoff’s lap.

It was a position they’d used many times, whenever Gavin wanted comfort, or to be annoying, or he just felt like it. Geoff lifted his arms to allow Gavin to get comfortable before he began absentmindedly playing with Gavin’s hair.

‘I slept with Michael.’ Gavin admitted in a small voice, jumping right off the bat. The hand patting his hair froze for a second, before continuing on.

‘Is that a bad thing?’ Geoff asked, trying to get a feel for what Gavin thought about it. Gavin didn’t reply for a moment, just thinking, before he huffed out a sigh. Geoff squirmed.

‘That tickled, asshole.’ He said. Gavin just did it again.

‘Yo, what’d I miss?’ Ray said, announcing his return to the room. 'And what the hell is everybody doing here? Like I appreciate the welcoming party, but...' He shrugged.

'It's not for you, asshole, as much as I'm sure your ego would disagree. No, we're having a Gents team plan for the next let's play, and we plan to consume copius amounts of alcohol while we're at it.' Geoff said.

'But you never invite them over.' Ray said confusedly, scratching at his hair before he just shrugged. 'Whatever.' He dismissed.

'Don't worry, team Lad's is going to have their own separate team plan too, but that's for another time.' Geoff responded.

A few moments later Griffon popped her head around the corner, quickly followed by the rest of her body.

She was wearing a standard tank top and cargoes, obviously having been working on something out in the shed. This was confirmed by the wood shavings caught in her hair, and Geoff snorted at her.

‘Shut up.’ She said, not even looking at him, eyes on Gavin.

‘I didn’t even say anything.’ Geoff muttered in his defence, but he knew he’d been caught out so there was no power behind the words. Griffon didn’t even deign to reply to that, simply ducking into the kitchen and returning a moment later with three cold beers.

‘How was it, sweety?’ She asked, as if she was a mother whose daughter had just returned from the prom.

‘It was good.’ Gavin mumbled. Griffon caught his tone immediately.

‘Was it? Did it storm much?’ She asked, raising an eyebrow at Geoff. At this, Gavin perked up, having something on his mind other than the worry that had been plaguing him all day.

‘Yeah, it was crazy! It was absolutely bucketing down, and there was so much lightning, and we climbed to the top of this mountain and we could see for bloody miles! It was incredible! And Michael and Ray sung that song that I think Barbara and Burnie were in, right?’ He rambled, turning to Ray with a grin.

‘That’d be the one.’ Ray confirmed.

‘It was pretty top.’ Gavin continued. ‘And we got back to the cabin thing and I nearly broke my bloody neck on the way down, and then me and Michael stayed in front of the fire for ages cause Ray decided to be lame and go to bed.’

‘Speaking of, where is Michael?’ Griffon interjected. Geoff instantly glanced down at Gavin, Ray looked to the door, and Gavin just shrugged.

‘Sleeping in the car.’ He said casually, but his tone sounded forced. Geoff wrinkled his nose.

 ‘Hey buddy, you should talk to Griffon about that thing.’ He said.

Gavin pulled a face. ‘I don’t wanna.’ He said childishly.

‘Should have thought about that before you got all mopey. Come on.' Griffon prompted, rolling her eyes and tugging him away. ‘Sorry Ray, girl talk.’ She said, and Ray nodded knowingly.

‘I totally understand, we all have that time.’ He said seriously, and Gavin attempted to whack him but failed when he was hauled away by Griffon.

‘I’m not moping.’ Gavin moped as she pulled him into the kitchen.

‘Right.’ She said, as if she believed him, and raised an eyebrow in expectation. Gavin remained standing there stubbornly for a few seconds before he sprawled onto the floor, and Griffon just slid down the cupboard next to him.

‘I slept with Michael.’ He said, repeating his words from earlier. Griffon looked at him thoughtfully.

‘Does he regret it?’ She asked. She could tell that Gavin wasn’t upset about that fact itself, so it had to be something tied in with it. He wasn’t nervous, he just seemed down about it, so she figured it was Michael related. Which, in this case, really only led to the one outcome.

Gavin nodded, and she clucked sympathetically. ‘What’d he say?’ She asked. If it was anything bad, that boy was in for the ass-whooping of a century. Gavin shook his head.

‘He didn’t really _say_ anything, I mean to me, directly. But when he saw me in the morning the first thing he did was groan, swear, and roll back under the covers. And he’s been avoiding me all day. He didn’t talk at all in the car ride home, only to complain. I don’t know what…’ He said, but stopped. He didn’t want to say he didn’t know what to do.

Girls said that, when they were having boyfriend troubles. Gavin wasn’t a girl, Michael wasn’t his boyfriend, and they weren’t having troubles.

They’d just slept together, and now it was awkward and Michael regretted it.

‘Have you talked to him at all?’ Griffon asked, eyes narrowing. Gavin shook his head again.

‘Didn’t need to.’ He said, voice muffled by the floor his face was squished against.

‘Yeah, you do need to. For all you know it’s just a misunderstanding.’ Griffon persisted.

‘It wasn’t. He wouldn’t even look at me.’ Gavin said forlornly. Griffon just sighed and began playing with his hair, just as Geoff had done earlier.

‘Gav, I say this in the nicest possible way, but you’re an idiot.’ She waited till she had his attention before continuing. ‘He hasn’t said anything, so anything that happened is up to interpretation. That’s how it is. You’re gunna talk to him, you’re gunna find out what he thinks, and you’re gunna sort your shit out. There will be none of this misunderstanding, possible wrong interpretations shit with my boys. This isn’t a chick flick. You’re gunna find out exactly what he thinks, and then you’re gunna deal with it. Got it?’ She said forcefully.

It wasn’t often she got so commanding (well, in a serious way, she _was_ a take charge kind of woman), and whenever she did Gavin nearly always listened.

But this time he was nervous, he was afraid of the outcome, and he was decidedly stubborn.

‘No.’ He said. They both glanced up at the sound of voices in the hallway, but they were too far away to worry about, so they returned their attention to the conversation at hand.

‘Gavin, you better get your sweet ass up and talk to him, I’m not going to sit around and listen to you whining about something that might not even be a problem. Now I know you, and I know Michael, and I’m being honest when I say I don’t think that whatever happened between you was a mistake, and therefore I don’t think he thinks it either. He’s not a complete idiot.’ She said.

Gavin sat up. ‘No. I’m going to leave it, because it’s what he wants and it’s what’s best.’ He said.

He could hear the falsetto in his voice, and Griffon picked up on it too. This only served to make him more upset, bordering on irrational for the first time since it’d gone wrong. He’d been upset before, mopey and dejected, but he hadn’t been overly emotional about it.

The voices were growing louder.

‘Gav-’ She started, sympathy in her tone, and Gavin straightened up.

‘It’s not just him that regrets it.’ Gavin said, and Griffon just looked at him.

‘Cut the bullshit, Gavin. You’re only trying to convince yourself.’

‘I’m not-’

‘You obviously have-’

‘It was a mistake! I’m an idiot and I regret sleeping with him!’

Griffon narrowed her eyes. ‘Shut up before you say something you regret. You don’t me-’

‘I wish it never happened!’ Griffon’s hand tightened around his wrist, and she opened her mouth to reply when she realised the voices had stopped. She looked up at the same time as Gavin did, and she honestly, _really_ couldn’t say she was surprised to see Michael standing in the doorway, staring at Gavin.

Ray and Geoff stepped around a second later, looking guilty. Gavin knew Jack and Ryan were hovering just behind that, the sounds of an argument and the promise of secrets piquing their interest and drawing them in.

There was silence, before Michael schooled his features and stepped back. He looked as if he was going to say something, before he snapped his mouth shut and turned angrily back the way he came.

Nobody moved until the door slammed, when Gavin let out a small flinch.

‘We tried to stop him.’ Geoff said, looking at the floor. Ray nodded.

‘I should go…’ He said, indicating the way Michael had gone, and when nobody argued he nodded again and left, hurrying after him.

‘Jesus, Gavin.’ Griffon said, standing. ‘You are the biggest idiot in the world.’

Gavin didn’t respond, staring at the floor.

‘What the hell did I say, honestly? You didn’t mean a word of it, did you? The only thing you regret is him walking away just now.’ She hissed. ‘I told you, I fucking told you.’

Geoff approached and wrapped his arms around her. It wasn’t often she got very angry.

‘Get up.’ She said. ‘Go after him, say  sorry, and fix this up, or I won’t talk to you until you do.’ She threatened, and Gavin finally looked up.

‘I don’t care.’ She said, cutting off whatever he was about to say. ‘Go say sorry and fix this mess that I was _trying_ to stop you from getting into!’

Gavin swallowed, unable to argue with her. She’d literally been trying to avoid exactly this, and it seemed just his luck Michael had overheard. They heard the front door open and close, and Ray appeared moments later.

‘I, um, let him borrow my car. I figured I could stick around with Gavin, or if you guys are busy go down to the shops or something.’ He said, not wanting to intrude.

Griffon shook her head and pulled away from Geoff.

‘You’re going to take Geoff’s car-’

‘Hey!’

‘-and take Gavin down to Michael’s house, or wherever he’s headed, and Gavin’s going to sort this mess out.’ She looked around, daring anybody to argue with her. ‘Good. Now go.’ She said, pushing Gavin in the direction of the door.

He stumbled, and Ray stepped forward to steady him, using the hand on his arm to pull him away. It wasn’t until she heard them both leave, Geoff’s car keys in hand, that Griffon finally sighed and leant against Geoff, taking strength from him.

‘What an idiot.’ She said. She was furious with him, both for being so stupid and for not listening to her, but she just wanted them to sort it out. She believed in them both, that Gavin could get through to Michael and make him realise he didn’t mean it, and Michael would eventually forgive him despite how hurt he more than likely was.

She had faith in them. They just needed a little push.

‘It’s like a romance novel, you know what I mean?’ Geoff said, trying to drain some of the tension. Griffon hummed her agreement. ‘A big dramatic reveal, the wrong person overhears, there’s a big fight, they’ll probably get over it and go have steamy make up sex.’ He nuzzled into her neck, and she giggled.

‘And they’ll both be so thankful to you for helping them get their shit together.’ He continued, kissing down her neck. She spun and leaned into him, nipping gently at his earlobe.

‘And they’ll wish they had someone as smart,’ He pressed a kiss to the base of her neck, ‘and beautiful,’ he kissed a trail along her jaw line, ‘and brilliant as you.’ He finished, finally kissing her gently on the lips.

She smiled into the kiss, before pressing him into the counter.

‘You forgot awesome, and incredible, and perfect.’ She teased, and he chuckled.

‘I was just getting up to that.’ He said.

‘Hm, really?’ She said, running a hand through his hair as the other trailed down to his belt. ‘I don’t know if I should believe you.’ She said, slipping a hand beneath his belt.

‘You definitely should.’ He said. ‘Definitely, definitely should.’

She hummed as if she was considering it, and he pouted at her pleadingly.

‘Fine.’ She eventually conceded, sighing heavily, but smirked when Geoff nudged against her with a whine.

‘To the bedroom then, my lady?’ He asked, and when she nodded he took her hand and pulled her out of the kitchen. They past Ryan and Jack on the way, who both looked up at them with confusion and expectation, and Geoff shook his head.

‘You can probably go home.’ He said. He felt slightly rude. ‘If you want, I don’t care what you do.’

Ryan looked at him with something akin to annoyance. ‘You brought us out here for something and you haven’t told us yet what it was.’ He said, and Geoff winced.

‘Yeah. Alright, stick around, I’ll get to it. You’ll like it.’

‘It really couldn’t have been discussed at work?’ Ryan asked.

‘No way. Our schedules are all kinds of fucked up, and I wanted this to be a gents thing. Trust me. You’ll love it. Until then…?’ He said, and when Ryan rolled his eyes he grinned. ‘I’ve got a lady to attend to.’

‘Don’t shake the house.’ Jack called after him, his only contribution to the entire discussion. Geoff just laughed and made his way up the stairs, following Griffon’s path to the bedroom.

It was almost five minutes later when the phone rang, and an exasperated sigh was heard throughout the house.

‘You should get it.’ Griffon urged. ‘I can wait.’

‘It’s criminal though.’ Geoff whined, and hung his head in defeat. He padded over to his jeans and pulled out his mobile.

‘Ramsey speaking, this better be fucking good.’ He said, and Griffon laughed behind him. Geoff leaned into the phone, straining to hear the voice on the other end.

‘Geoff, it’s Ray. We need your help.’


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asdfghjk I don't know about you guys but the Mavin fic bang over the past week has been fucking amazing, some really good authors out there.  
> anyway, enjoy - nearly at the end ;-;
> 
> read & review, yo

(Several minutes earlier)

  
‘Come on.’ Ray urged, tugging Gavin along. Gavin didn’t say anything as they piled into Geoff’s car and pulled out of the driveway, too lost in thought.

‘Hey, snap out of it. You’re not gunna go all depresso on me again are you?’ Ray said, only half joking. Gavin didn’t mind. If they could make a joke out of it, it normally meant things would be okay.

‘Nah, I’m just thinking. That was pretty stupid, wasn’t it?’ Gavin said, shaking his head at himself. Honestly, Griffon had practically predicted it was going to happen.

‘Yeah it was. Idiot.’ Ray said easily. He smiled at Gavin, the smile growing that bit bigger when Gavin returned it with his own.

‘I’m not the brightest cookie in the box.’ Gavin admitted.

‘Brightest – what?’ Ray scrunched up his face, but Gavin had already turned his attentions back to their destination, and what lay in store for them. ‘What am I gunna do, Ray?’ He whined, smearing his face against the window.

‘Go in there, apologise, don’t leave until he accepts it, maybe let him hit you, kiss the fuck out of him, hot make up sex.’ Ray listed off.

‘Do you think he’ll wanna hit me?’ Gavin asked. Ray shrugged.

‘It’s Michael. He hit’s everything. He smashed that xbox with a damn golf club over that stupid game that time. I doubt he’s gunna come at you with a golf club,’ he paused to giggle slightly at the mental image ‘but he won’t be too happy. I mean, he didn’t even yell at you.’

‘Yeah.’ Gavin said sadly.

‘I mean, you’ve hurt him, probably like, embarrassed him, because he does actually have feelings and like everybody we know just heard you shout that you a. slept with him and b. regret it, which can’t be much good for his ego. Also, you-’

‘I get the point, Ray!’ Gavin said.

‘Alright. I don’t know what I’m gunna do during this. He’s got my car, so I guess I can go straight home, but…’ He trailed off, not needing to say that he wanted to stick around and make sure no one got hurt. He didn’t know how to go about that without overhearing their conversation, though.

‘Um. I’ll stay in the car like a loser, I guess. You can come out when you’re done, or text me if the plan works and you’re having hot make up sex, because I can come inside and join.’

‘Raaay.’ Gavin whined.

‘Nah, but make sure you text me if you _are_ going to… sort things out, so to speak. You know what I mean.’ He made sure Gavin understood before continuing. ‘If you forget, or you’re going to take for fucking ever, or stay the night or something, either come out and tell me or, yet again, text me. God, I’m gunna feel like such a loser waiting in a car for hours. This sucks.’ He complained.

Gavin appreciated what he was doing for him, and the sense of normalcy that Ray complaining always seemed to achieve. It was odd, but it did make him feel better.

‘What if I forget to do everything?’ He said, because he _was_ Gavin.

‘Um, I don’t know. After a while I’ll come up and let myself in, I guess. Make sure he hasn’t beaten you up too badly.’

‘Thanks, Ray.’ Gavin said sarcastically.

‘I’m here for you, Vav!’ Ray yelled dramatically, completely ignoring the sarcasm. ‘Alright.’ He said, because they’d just arrived in front of Michael’s house.

‘Best of luck, dude.’ He said, but there was a note of sincerity in his voice. Gavin chewed his lip nervously but shot him a smile.

‘Cheers, X-Ray.’ He said, and climbed out. Ray watched him disappear up the steps before he turned his attention to his phone, opening up Fruit slicer.

‘Hwaaa.’ He made sound effects, beginning to get into it when he was startled by Gavin knocking at his window.

‘Tough man, he kicked you out already? Go climb in his window-’

‘He’s not there.’ Gavin interrupted. Ray frowned at him.

‘Don’t take no for an answer, just-’

‘No, he’s really not there. I mean, unless he’s hiding in a closet or something.’ Gavin considered this. ‘But I doubt it. I mean, he wasn’t in the house, and everything was unlocked.’ He gestured behind him at the door, glancing for a second to make sure he was pointing in the right direction before turning back to Ray, arm still raised.

Ray just looked confused.

‘Everything was unlocked.’ Gavin stressed. Something flashed across Ray’s features before he closed the app on his phone and opened his contacts. He called Michael’s number as Gavin climbed back into the car.

When Michael picked up, relief flooded through him, but it was only momentary.

‘Dude, where are you?’ He asked, forgoing a greeting in favour of getting to the point.

‘Um, my house.’ Michael replied after a moment of hesitation.

‘No, you’re not. Michael, where are you?’ Ray repeated, scrubbing a hand down his face.

‘I’m telling you, I’m at my house. I just don’t want to talk to anyone. Go away.’

‘Bullshit. We’re not even at your house.’ Ray lied, and Gavin looked at him in confusion.

‘Yeah, so you don’t know I’m not there. Idiot.’ Michael shot back, and Ray shook his head.

‘See, if you were here, you’d know we’re actually at your house.’ There was a pause.

‘We?’ Ray heard.

‘Gavin and I. Michael, where are you?’ Another pause. ‘Michael?’

‘I’m out, clearing my head.’ Michael said, and Ray knew instantly.

‘Michael-’

‘I’ve gotta go, Ray.’

‘Michael, I know what you’re doing.’ Ray warned. He heard a laugh.

‘Good for you. Don’t come after me.’

‘Wait, Michael _please_ -’

‘Bye, Ray.’

‘No, don’t!’ The dial tone rang in his ears, and he looked at Gavin in desperation before he realised he had no idea what was going on.

That was the final straw. Ray couldn’t do this alone anymore.

‘Ray, where’s Michael?’ Gavin asked, sounding scared. Ray didn’t blame him.

‘He’s going somewhere that’s really not good for him.’ Ray responded vaguely. ‘I’ll explain in a minute. I just have to call someone first, and I’ll explain everything afterwards, okay?’

Gavin, to his credit, just nodded, watching in silence as Ray dialled another number and fidgeted impatiently while he waited for it to pick up. When it did Ray took a deep breath before answering.

‘Geoff, it’s Ray. We need your help.’

Geoff didn’t even hesitate.

‘Sure, what do you need?’

Ray took a deep breath, glancing at Gavin with a look that screamed apologies and regret, and turned back to the phone.

‘Just a second.’ He said, and put the car into gear, gesturing for Gavin to buckle up and getting them onto the road before he put the phone to his ear. Geoff was waiting patiently, trusting Ray to tell him what he needed to.

‘Michael’s in trouble. Sort of. Shit, where do I start.’ Ray said, grip tightening in frustration. ‘He got into heroin a little while back, met some dealers or something, I don’t know. But he got off it, sort of, he was meant to get off it, but he’s going back.’

A pause.

‘We need to stop him, but I don’t know if I can. ' His voice cracked, betraying him. 'You’re the… you’re the ideal person to call. I guess. Look, he’s going back to the club where he got it, right? The twenty four hour one, Sharkbite. His dealer’s there, or at least that’s where he’s going to be looking for him.’

He chanced a look at Gavin, but had to look back at the road before he could begin to decipher the emotions flitting across his face.

‘Sharkbite. Right. You want me there?’ Geoff asked, and Ray could have kissed him for pushing aside all the questions he probably had and guessing what it was Ray called him for.

‘Yeah. I just… he’ll listen to you, Geoff. I didn’t know who else to call.’ Ray admitted. He hadn’t had a plan in mind. He knew Michael didn’t want to talk to him or Gavin right now, and besides being their boss, Geoff was a close friend that Michael respected.

He was their best hope.

‘No, I’m glad you called.’ Geoff’s tone took on one of determination. ‘I’ll meet you there, alright? I’ve got an idea. Just keep him there if you get to him before us.’ He said, and Ray nodded before he realised Geoff couldn’t hear him.

‘Right.’ He said instead. ‘Thank you.’ He murmured, unsure of what else to say.

‘Don’t. I’ll meet you there. Call if anything comes up.’

‘Okay.’ Ray agreed, and the dial tone rung once again in his ears. He put the phone down slowly before blowing out a breath.

‘How long’s that been going on, then?’ Gavin asked quietly. Ray shook his head, having no idea when to begin. He figured he’d leave it up to Gavin to ask what he needed, so he focused on answering what he could before they arrived.

‘Since the last time you two went out together to that club.’ He said, and Gavin gave a nod in response that Ray caught out of the corner of his eye. Then he gave a small ‘Oh.’ as he realised everything that meant.

‘The weird stage? The sickness? The secretiveness? When we went over, leaving from work, that was all that?’ Gavin asked.

‘Yeah.’ Ray said, not knowing how else to respond.

‘How’d you find out?’ Gavin asked, not bitter enough to assume Michael had told Ray and left Gavin purposely out of the loop.

‘The night before you, uh, ended up in hospital. He actually, um, overdosed.’ Ray admitted. He felt better for it when Gavin didn’t freak out.

‘How bad?’ He asked instead.

‘I don’t know. He was unconscious for a while. He did it straight after you left, I guess.’ Ray focused more on the road than the conversation, as demanding as it was, because they were pulling up to the club and he could spot his car in the parking lot.

‘I’m really sorry but we’ve really gotta get in there.’ Ray said, interrupting whatever Gavin had been about to ask. ‘Do you want to… stay in here?’ He offered. He was surprised when instead of agreeing, like he looked like he would, Gavin straightened his shoulders and raised his head determinedly.

‘No way. He’s an idiot, and he needs us, right? We’re in this together.’ Gavin said, and as cliché as it was, Ray couldn’t help but smile.

‘Team lads, dude. We take care of our own.’ He agreed, and they walked up to the doors. There was no line considering the time of day, but being one of the most popular (and only) night clubs in the area, they didn’t doubt there’d be a fair few people inside.

Steeling himself, much like Gavin had earlier, Ray entered the doors and made a beeline for the bathroom.

‘Keep an eye out for Michael.’ He commanded Gavin, just in case. He didn’t know if Michael would even be in there, but form what he’d been told, he assumed it was his best bet. Gavin just nodded and used his slight height advantage to peer over the crowd, eyes searching out that familiar mop of auburn curls.

‘Nothing.’ He said when Ray peeked at him questioningly, and they stopped in front of the bathroom doors. Ray gave him one last look before he pushed the door open, both hoping that Michael would be in there and hoping he wouldn’t.

Confrontation was never really Ray’s forte.

Regardless of his preferences, and ignorant of whatever he’d been hoping, Michael was inside. He was speaking to a man who was standing against the door, and he looked like he’d been yelling. He turned to give a cursory glance to the intruders, assuming they’d do their business and leave, but did a double take when he saw Ray stride through and Gavin follow hesitantly after.

They were all silent for a moment before Ray spoke up.

‘I don’t believe we’ve met.’ He said to the man Michael was talking to, eyes sweeping up and down. He noted with a familiar eye the two capped needle heads that poked out of the man’s front jeans pocket, the small bulge in his shirt pocket and the plastic bag corner that he could see in the man’s coat.

He didn’t need to see anymore.

The man, having noticed his being studied, squirmed uncomfortably. ‘These your friends?’ He asked Michael, lips pulling back to reveal a set of yellow, rotting teeth.

_Crack smoker._ Ray noted distantly. _Needs to lay off the pipe._

Instead of voicing that thought he instead moved into the man’s line of sight, forcing himself between him and Michael.

‘Ray.’ He greeted calmly, extending a hand with a purposely fake smile. The man ignored the hand to step to the side.

‘I don’t do freebies.’ He directed at Michael. He glanced at Ray again and finally addressed him. ‘You a cop?’ He asked. Ray didn’t reply, and when he simply raised his outstretched hand further the man backed up.

‘Look, I don’t know what you want from me.’ He stated nervously, eyes darting between the three men in front of him and the door.

‘Ray, what the fuck are you doing?’ Michael had apparently found his voice, and Ray knew he only had a few seconds before he started yelling. Thankfully, Gavin came to the rescue, grabbing Michael’s arm and moving into his line of view, much as Ray had done.

He heard him whisper something urgently to Michael, but his concentration was torn away now that he wasn’t about to be outed by Michael.

‘You can’t prove nothing.’ The man said, giving up on appearing innocent in favour of acting cocky.

‘It’s believed rude to not accept a greeting.’ Ray stated flatly, ignoring him. The man swallowed heavily and reached a tentative hand out to shake Ray’s.

As soon as they made contact, Ray grabbed his hand firmly and pulled himself towards the man, reaching in with his free hand to grab the needles he could see poking out from the man’s pocket and retrieving them.

He backed away, nearly bumping into Gavin, barely sidestepping in time.

‘I believe this is what you call proof.’ Ray said smoothly. The man looked shocked and outraged.

‘You can’t do that! Cops can’t do that! Tha’s gainst the law!’ He pronounced ‘law’ as ‘lore’. ‘That’s illegal!’ He screeched.

‘It’s something like fifteen years in prison?’ Ray said, admiring the needles. He had no idea, and it was probably nowhere near to that, but for possession with intent to sell chances are it wasn’t going to be good.

‘Give that back! You’re corrupt!’ The man yelled, lunging for his items. Ray raised the needles out of his reach easily, but he wasn’t expecting the fist that flew up into his face. He crashed back against the wall, hands flying to his nose automatically, needles falling to the floor.

The man reached down and scooped them up, turning and running for the door. He avoided the hand Michael threw out to catch him and burst through the door.

Right into the arms of Geoff.

Geoff took one look inside the still open door, at Ray holding his bloodied nose, at the furious looking Michael holding a shocked looking Gavin, and wrapped his arms around the man. He forced him back inside, and to Ray’s surprise Ryan and Jack entered behind him.

Ryan stood against the door, barring entry for anyone from outside, and crossed his arms threateningly. Geoff let go of the man with force, and he stumbled back, crashing into the wall next to where Ray was standing.

‘What’s going on here?’ Geoff asked, even though it was incredibly obvious. Jack stood to his left and Michael took a step forward, and they effectively formed enough of a semicircle to prevent the man from escaping.

Granted he could get past Ryan, of course.

The man seemed to realise just how much shit he was in, and was now cowering against the wall, arms up to shield himself from blows.

‘What’s your name?’ Geoff asked instead, and the man peeked out from behind his arms.

‘L…Lloyd.’ He answered hesitantly, and Geoff nodded.

‘Lloyd. Lloyd what?’

The man shook his head, eyes wide with fear. ‘I don’t… I don’t gotta tell you shit!’ He cried.

Geoff nodded. ‘That’s true. That’s true, isn’t it Jack?’ He asked, and Jack nodded his agreement. ‘But the thing is, I think you want to tell us. Don’t you, Lloyd?’ He asked, his voice calm, but the threat came across loud and clear.

‘Lloyd Roberts.’ The man said, and Geoff’s hand slammed into the wall next to his face. ‘Eggot! Lloyd Eggot!’ He cried, and the hand retracted, leaving Lloyd shaking in fear but unharmed.

‘Good. That wasn’t too hard. Now, Lloyd, I’ve got a few questions for you.’ Geoff said calmly.

‘You can’t… He’s not a proper cop!’ The man said, pointing to Ray. Geoff glanced at him.

‘Oh, I know.  Speaking of...' Geoff started, leaning in menacingly. 'You hit him, and he’s quite a close friend of mine. Of all of ours, actually. See Jack there?’ Geoff asked, cocking his head in Jack’s direction. Lloyd nodded weakly, a bead of sweat trailing neatly from his hairline.

‘He’s his friend. Ryan, back there, barring the door? His friend too. Michael there, that you were gunna sell some more of that truly quality heroin too? You guessed it, his friend. Gavin’s friend. You see? He’s all our friends.’

Geoff leaned in. ‘And you hit him in the face.’

Lloyd whimpered.

Geoff straightened up, cracking his neck. ‘We don’t take too kindly to that. We also don’t take too kindly to you trying to get our friend hooked on smack. Not something I approve of. At all.’ Lloyd just looked at him fearfully.

‘So, I’m going to get you to promise me something.’

Geoff glanced around, at Ryan by the door, Jack at his side, Ray now standing with Gavin who had his arms wrapped tightly around Michael, either restraining him of comforting him, Geoff didn’t know, and he smiled.

‘You’re never going to sell heroin here again. Never. And you’re _never_ going to sell to a single person in this room, _especially_ not Michael. If I ever, _ever_ find out you’ve sold even a _single_ quarter gram around here again, I will personally hunt you down and slit your throat myself.’

Geoff, when he wanted, could be very terrifying. And right now, all he was aiming for was that. It was incredibly effective.

‘Never again.’ Lloyd agreed hastily, and Geoff narrowed his eyes.

‘I don’t believe you.’ He said, nostrils flaring.

‘I swear!’ Lloyd cried, voice rising several octaves in panic.

‘I mean, I’d like to, but drug dealers are notorious for lying. You’ve already lied to me once. You’ll do it again.’

‘No, I swear, I won’t-’

‘Not to mention.’ Geoff interrupted. ‘The fact you already sold to him. If he wanted, he’d know where to go to buy again. So we have to make sure he never buys from you again.’

‘Please!’ He begged. It went ignored when two strong hands grabbed him by the collar and thrust him into Jack’s arms.

‘You’re a liar.’ Geoff said, accentuating it with a solid punch to the man’s stomach.

‘A degenerate.’ A punch to the kidney’s.

‘You attacked Ray..’ A hit, directly on the nose, repaying the damage Lloyd had caused Ray.

‘You sold to Michael.’ Another fist, straight to the solar plexus.

‘Give me one’ in the face ‘Good’ the stomach again ‘Reason’ Geoff pulled him out of Jack’s arms and threw him against the wall ‘To stop.’

‘I’ll never do it again.’ Lloyd half said, half whispered, blood running over his tongue from a broken tooth.

A gentle hand on Geoff’s shoulder.

‘Good.’ He said, and straightened. He turned away, rubbing his sore fist. ‘You okay, Ray?’ He asked, and Ray nodded.

‘Let’s go.’ He said, wiping his nose gingerly on his sleeve. Geoff nodded and gestured for them to leave.

Jack had exited with him, Ryan had waited for Ray and Michael and Gavin stumbled out last, Gavin looking over his shoulder to see if they had any followers.

Satisfied with the results, he turned back to everybody, who’d again formed a small semicircle facing them.

‘We should go.’ Ryan said, speaking for Jack and himself. They turned as one and went to leave.

‘Wait.’ Michael called back. He sweated nervously, running a hand through his unkempt curls, swallowing hard as he searched furiously for the words he needed.

 ‘I’m…’ He started, his voice faltering. He swallowed again. 'Thank you. Uh, fucking... alot.' He laughed nervously. ‘You saved my ass. Probably. From being a fucking idiot. So I, um… thanks.’ He said, refusing to meet anyone’s eye.

Ryan just nodded. ‘It’s alright.’ He said, and the sincerity in his voice made Michael feel worse.

‘Yeah, you know Ryan’s always up for violence.’ Jack joked.

‘Creepy motherfucker.’ Ray muttered, and they all laughed, the tension having been broken.

When Ryan and Jack turned again to leave, Michael wanted to call after them, to thank them again and let them know how grateful he was. Because maybe they hadn’t done what Ray had done, stepped in the middle, or what Geoff had done, effectively ensuring the man wouldn’t ever even _approach_ Michael again, the very fact they’d came, ready to support and protect him, made his throat tighten.

He turned back to Geoff, Gavin and Ray as Ryan and Jack got into Griffon’s car and began to drive home. He ran a hand through his hair, unsure of what to say, and decided on not saying anything at all.

There were a few moments of silence before Geoff sighed. ‘Shit.’ He said simply, and Michael agreed wholeheartedly.

‘You,’ he said, pointing at Michael, ‘have got _so much_ explaining to do. But fuck, let’s save it for another time. Too much _shit_ has happened in the past week, I can’t even… Whatever. You get the point.’ He waved dismissively.

‘You’re gunna go home, sort your shit out with him, and maybe him, whatever the fuck you three do I don’t fucking know, and you’re gunna figure out what you need to do if you need to do it, and you’re either gunna come in to work on Monday, or you're going to be in rehab. Got it?’ He asked, and they all nodded, even though he’d really only been addressing Michael.

‘Good.’ He sighed. ‘Fucking Christ. You assholes. I’m going home.’ He said tiredly.

‘I, um. Fuck. Thanks, Geoff. I don’t…’ Michael started, annoyed with himself at how he couldn’t find the words.

‘You can thank me later. Buy me a fuckin’ car or something. A million bucks. Whatever. I’m out.’ He said, and walked to his car.

‘Bye!’ Michael called. Geoff just rolled his eyes.

‘Sort your shit!’ He shouted through the open window, and drove off.

That left Ray, Gavin and Michael.

‘To home then?’ Ray offered, and they all nodded.

‘To home.’


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two of this chapter will be uploaded directly after.

‘You gunna be alright?’ Ray asked Gavin quietly when he and Michael went to exit his car. Gavin nodded, looking unsure, before he shook himself and nodded more fervently.

‘Yeah. We’ll be right.’ He said.

‘You know where I am if you need me.’ Ray said, and Gavin shot him a grateful look.

‘You’ve been a massive bloody help lately.’ Gavin said. ‘Like, that doesn’t even begin to cover it. And I’m just talking for me alone, I don’t know anything about the Michael situation.’ He pulled a face as he said it, but his meaning came across loud and clear.

‘Don’t sweat it. Like Geoff said, thank me later. I don’t want a house though, I want a pony.’

‘Don’t brush off my thanks, you pleb, I’m trying to be nice!’

Ray rolled his eyes. ‘No, seriously, it’s fine. Go on, your boyfriend’s waiting.’ He teased, and it was Gavin’s turn to roll his eyes.

‘Wow, good one Ray. But seriously, thanks. Thanksthanksthanksthanksthanks. I’ll talk to you later.’ He said, finally getting out of the car, and he and Michael waved to Ray as he drove off.

‘What now, then?’ Gavin asked rather redundantly, holding the door for Michael.

‘Now I guess we sort our shit out, like everyone’s been telling us to.’ Michael said, taking a seat on the couch.

‘Right.’ Gavin said, and shifted uncomfortably.

‘We don’t have to?’ Michael offered, and Gavin just gave him a look. ‘Just a suggestion.’ He said quickly. After another moment of awkward silence, Michael sighed.

‘Come here, idiot.’ He said, and pulled Gavin down next to him. ‘Ask questions, I guess? Or I can tell you the story, I don’t know.’

‘Tell me the story.’ Gavin whispered, burying his face into Michael’s chest. Michael took a deep breath.

‘Well, I guess I can pinpoint when the drugs thing happened.’ Michael started, but was immediately interrupted by Gavin.

‘Sharkbite. The night we had a Team Nice Dynamite night out.’

‘Wow, thanks asshole, I was all set to tell the fucking story. How’d you know, anyway?’

Gavin shrugged, as best he could lying against Michael. ‘Ray told me in the car, when we were coming to get you. I think he feels really bad about not telling me, because when he called Geoff up he gave me this look that just…’ Gavin shivered.

‘I don’t know. I wanted to tell him it’d be okay, which is weird, because of everything that was happening.’

Michael frowned. ‘Okay.’

Gavin shook himself. ‘We owe him the hugest thanks ever. And Geoff.’ He said, and Michael nodded.

‘Majorly. He covered for me so bad, and he helped me out a fuckton, and Jesus I feel like shit for being an asshole to him.’

‘He said he wants a pony.’ Gavin mumbled into his chest.

‘Oh, dude, we’re buying him a million ponies.’ Michael agreed. Gavin snuggled further into his chest.

‘Why’d you do it, Michael?’ He asked, and Michael sighed.

‘That’s what everyone’s gunna wanna know, isn’t it? But the thing is, I have no fucking idea. I just ended up taking it.’ He could feel Gavin’s wordless anticipation for the rest of the story, so he continued.

‘When you were with that chick, I just… I was in a really bad mood. Part of it was I had this huge headache, and fucking Christ it sucked.’

‘What was the other part?’ Gavin asked, legitimately curious, and Michael hated him for being so naive.

‘You. And that fucking Dorito girl.’ He heard Gavin snort into his chest. ‘Yeah. Jealousy, right. Anyway,’ he hurried on, not wanting to dwell on that subject, ‘I went there once, and he was all “here take this shit let it ruin your life” and I’m all like “fuck no suck my dick” but then I went out, and you were, you know, making out with that chick and being a major dick and I got pissed off and ended up going back there.’

He heard Gavin huff. ‘I was playing a dick game. Wanted to make you jealous.’ He said, and Michael glared at the ceiling. ‘I didn’t think it would end up like this.’ He laughed quietly, and Michael had to join in.

It was kind of funny.

‘Anyway. He spun this bullshit story about how great it is and how good it’ll make you feel, and I didn’t believe it but I wanted to, you know? So I guess that’s why I took it. Anyway, I went searching for you, but I guess you went off to score a blowjob or something-’

‘Oi!’

‘And I left. Went to that… bridge, I think? Where I guess I stayed, because you picked me up.’ He realised Gavin had lifted himself up so he could meet eye to eye with Michael.

‘After you stormed off I went searching for you, you dope. I finally told her to cast off somewhere else but by the time I did you weren’t in sight. So I went lookin’, but I didn’t find you.’

‘How long was it until you called me?’

‘I searched the whole club first. I thought you were off dancing angrily or something.’

‘Dancing angrily?’ Michael repeated dubiously. Gavin smacked him and flumped back down. ‘Fucking weirdo. Anyway, I got high as fuck, you called me and whatnot and yeah, took me home.’

‘When did you use it?’ Gavin asked, and Michael had to think through the question to make sense of it.

‘Oh. Well that time. We had that argument the morning after, I left, you left, I meant to throw it out but didn’t, we had work, I went home early, so then I guess.’ Gavin nodded.

‘Thought so. Looking back, I can note it now, each time you were that I was with you. Why couldn’t I have been able to do it then?’ Gavin asked, sounding genuinely frustrated at himself. Without his permission, Michael’s hand was up and playing with his hair.

Gavin relaxed and snuggled into him more. ‘People always do that.’ He said.

‘What, play with your hair?’

‘No. Well, yes, actually, you’re the third person today.’

‘Jesus.’

‘But I mean, I guess blame themselves for not being able to see something that’s right in front of them, when they might not entirely have been expected to be able to see it.’

‘In English, Gavin.’

‘Just, I hate that I can look back and it makes sense now, but at the time it was a big jumbled mess that I had no idea about. I wish that it had been this obvious then.’

Michael shrugged. ‘I guess. But you’re right, people probably think that all the time.’

‘I know I’m right, because it could apply to so much. You think Jesus, am I really that stupid, it’s obvious they were anorexic, we’d always find food in the bin, and dieting websites in the browser history, and calorie counter apps, and the scale was used frequently, and all the times they’d insist they weren’t hungry.’

‘Getting off track, Gav.’

‘No, but I mean, you see all these little things along the way that you notice but you don’t really _notice_. And then you find out it’s all tied into something bigger, something huge and important, and it all makes sense. And you think of each and every little thing that you noticed and disregarded, and you feel horrible for it.’

‘D’you feel horrible?’ Michael whispered, breath blowing softly through Gavin’s hair.

‘I guess not horrible. But I’m so frustrated, because there were all these little things and I failed to add them up.’ Gavin admitted, frustration evident in his voice.

‘Don’t be.’ Michael murmured. ‘None of it’s your fault, and none of it can be taken back. I’m fine now, right? I didn’t get anything off him, and I can stay off it now.’

There was a pause of silence, and Michael began to worry.

‘Can you, though?’ Gavin asked, and the very fact he asked sent a wave of hurt through Michael, but he grit his teeth and forced himself to answer anyway.

‘Yeah.’ He said curtly, but he blew out a breath. ‘I guess once you do it, the knowledge of what it is, what it can do, all that... It sticks with you. And maybe every time something bad happens, that’s what I’m gunna think of to get through it.’ He chewed on his lip, contemplating his next words.

‘But I’m not going to use again, and honestly, thinking of that doesn’t feel like the end of the world anymore. When Ray helped me get through the withdrawal bit, I felt like I’d die if I could never get another hit.’

‘But I didn’t, and I’m alive. I guess part of me was that horrible, spitey, major league asshole that went back there as a big fuck you to you and Ray. Because I knew you’d never want me doing it, and I know how hard,’ his voice faltered, ‘how hard Ray worked to get me through everything okay.’

‘What happened exactly, with you and Ray?’ Gavin asked.

‘I, uh. Well.’ Michael scratched his neck, trying to think of how to explain. He decided to just come out with it. ‘He found me overdosed. I used too much, he came in, he found me, and by extension found _out_ , and he cleaned me up and took care of me, and he stayed by my side since.’

Gavin nodded, content with that. He could piece the rest of it together himself.

‘Gavin.’ He heard, and he felt himself being tugged into a sitting position.

‘Yeah?’ He responded. Michael looked nervous.

‘I, um. I just wanted to know. That conversation with Griffon earlier.’ He didn’t need to say anymore, watching the way Gavin averted his eyes. ‘If you regre-’

‘No, alright, stop. Griff was totally right. I think, or at least I hope, we’re caught up in a big miscommunication circle and we need to set stuff right.’ Gavin said, looking back up to meet Michael’s gaze.

‘Um, okay, I’m cool for that. Clearing the miscommunication.’ Michael nodded.

‘I don’t regret it. At all. Not even if you regret it. Which I don’t know if you do. But I don’t. So, yeah.’ Gavin said. Michael raised an eyebrow.

‘So when you said you regretted it earlier, you actually meant you didn’t regret it. Right.’

Gavin huffed out a breath of frustration, face scrunching. ‘Miscommunication. A stupid thing to say. Can we forget I said that? Cause I didn’t mean it.’

‘Why’d you say it then?’ Michael asked.

‘Because I’m stupid!’ Gavin cried. Michael laughed.

‘Fair enough, no arguments here. Alright, let’s get things straight. I don’t regret it, you don’t regret it, and we’re both clear that neither of us regret it. Get it?’

Gavin blinked, sorting through the sentence in his head. ‘Right. You don’t regret it?’

Michael threw his hands up. ‘The fuck did I just say?’

‘Okay, okay.’ Gavin squealed. ‘But you were so grumpy the next morning, you barely even looked at me, and when you did you cursed and ducked back under the covers!’

There was a beat, and Michael started laughing. ‘Miscommunication. I was hungover as fuck, dude, and I was hiding from the light. I figured we could do feelings talky girl shit later, and I could sleep off the death in my head.’

‘So you didn’t regret it.’ Gavin said, and Michael looked at him exasperatedly, and a smile spread across his face and he was leaning in and kissing Michael hard, a kiss of warm lips and silent laughter and _communication._

‘No regrettingness here. I’m totally up for it again, though.’ Michael winked when they broke the kiss. Gavin laughed and pushed playfully at his shoulder, and they both started laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.

‘Good god I feel so much gayer right now.’ Gavin admitted.

‘Yeah? You think you could munch on a gargantuan bucket of penises?’ Michael challenged. Gavin gagged at the thought.

‘You’re not into sucking I guess?’ Michael laughed.

‘Miscommunication.’ Gavin teased. ‘It’s not the dick I have a problem with, but the idea of actually _eating_ a huge tub full of penises-’

‘Alright shut up.’ Michael interrupted, holding his stomach as he laughed. ‘But I’m serious about that offer.’ He said, and his cheeks tinged with red.

‘Awwwwww.’ Gavin teased. Michael put him in a very unromantic headlock.

‘Asshole.’ He grunted, and after a moment of loud squealing and 'Michaaael!'s he released the Brit.

‘Don’t you think we should thank everyone first?’ Gavin said.

‘Dude, what is this, a fucking grammy acceptance speech? Yeah I’d like to thank my family and friends for staying with me and supporting me, and my fans for everything they’ve done. I’d especially love to thank my producer for making all this possible-’ Michael’s obnoxious southerly accented voice was cut off when Gavin shoved him again.

‘I’m serious.’ He whined. Michael looked up at him mischievously.

‘Wouldn’t you rather do this?’ He asked, leaning in and brushing his lips against Gavin’s ear. ‘And this?’ He continued, pressing feather light kisses down his jaw. ‘And… This?’ He began to press his lips harder, spurred on by the breathy sounds Gavin was making.

Eventually Gavin grew impatient and turned his face, capturing Michael’s with his when the other man went to press down next.

‘I want this, you knob.’ He muttered.

Michael smirked. ‘Don’t you mean you want my knob?’

Gavin groaned. ‘You’re terrible.’ Michael just smirked harder and went down to kiss him again.

‘Thanks. Bed?’ Michael offered, his hand reaching down to brush against the growing hardness in Gavin’s jeans.

‘Wow, you’re smooth. Do you pick up all the chicks like that?’ Gavin laughed, but it turned into a moan when Michael began rubbing him.

‘I certainly don’t pick them up like this.’ Michael said, stifling a giggle, and Gavin groaned again.

‘Stop making jokes. You suck.’ He said.

‘Not like you’re gunna.’ Michael one lined, and Gavin looked like he was about two hundred per cent done with Michael’s shit. ‘Okay, okay.’ He gave in and was graced with a smile.

‘Oh fair prince, will you accompany to my chambers?’ Michael asked, standing from the couch but quickly dropping to one knee to finish his proposition.

Gavin giggled. ‘I will.’ Michael went to scoop him up but he stopped him. ‘But first, I have an idea.’

Ray’s attention was drawn away from the T.V to a loud buzzing. He quickly twisted in his seat, drawing his phone out and opening it up. He opened it to discover he had one new text.

**From: Vav**

**Ray, we need you down at Michael’s, pronto.**

He frowned and tapped out a response, already gathering his keys and wallet.

**Y? You all good?**

He kept his phone balanced on his leg as he got in and began to drive.

**Yeah. Just come on down, and text me when you’re outside Michael’s house.**

Ray pulled a face. Already with the shenanigans?

**Fine. There better be some sweet 3some involved.** He replied, and ignored the reply he got in favour of surviving the trip there. When he pulled up outside, he laughed at the reply of **Dude you fuckin’ know it, Rayvin all tha way boi!** And shot off a quick text announcing his arrival.

Moments later his phone chimed, and he picked it up as he exited the car.

‘What?’ He asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

‘Hey X-Ray.’ Gavin giggled. ‘Come inside.’ He said, and Ray obeyed, pushing open the unlocked door and stopping awkwardly in the foyer.

‘Do I get naked now, or?’ He asked, and he was rewarded by giggling, both over the phone and from somewhere in the house.

‘We’re playing a game.’ Gavin said conspiratorially.

‘Oh, wow, I didn’t notice.’ Ray replied sarcastically.

‘Ray! No need for this attitude, get with the occasion.’

‘Alright, sorry.’ There was a pause. ‘Um. Olly olly oxen free?’ Ray called. Gavin huffed into the phone. ‘Come out come out wherever you are?’

‘Ray, stop! You’re not meant to find us.’ Gavin chastised and he heard Michael groan exasperatedly.

‘Alright, well what the fuck.’ Ray said.

‘Go to the coffee table.’ Gavin directed, and Ray heard Michael whisper something angrily at him. ‘Whoops I mean the kitchen table. Go to the- What do you mean be quiet, I am being quiet! You be quiet. Go to the kitchen table!’

‘Relax, I’m going. Sheesh.’ Ray laughed, approaching the table. On it lay a piece of paper, filled with Michael’s familiar scrawl.

‘See the note? Pick up the note.’ Gavin whispered. Instead of pretending he couldn’t see it and making them get their dumb asses down and confronting them, Ray just walked towards the table and picked up the piece of paper.

‘Why’s there a dick on it?’ He asked, and true to his word there was a small dick hastily scribbled on the upper right hand corner. He heard Gavin giggle, and a screech that echoed through both the phone and the house as Michael presumably hit him.

‘That really hurt, Michael.’ Gavin whined.

‘Shut up, moron.’ Ray heard Michael say. He laughed.

‘So, do I read it now, or?’

‘No!’ Gavin squealed. ‘You have to read it when you get home.’

‘I’m gunna read it now.’ Ray said, and started reading the first line aloud. He heard a crash and footsteps approached him, and Michael appeared, beanie tilted and glasses askew.

‘No, asshole. When you get home. We put a lot of work into this and you’ll probably make Gavin cry if you read it here.’ He said.

‘Oi!’ Gavin yelled, able to hear them over the phone. ‘I’m coming down!’ He yelled, and Michael snatched the phone.

‘Stay!’ He yelled, and the grumbling he got as a reply proved answer enough. He smirked smugly before facing Ray. ‘So, read it when you get home.’

Ray nodded, and they stood awkwardly for a second.

‘Seriously, get out. Me and Gavin are gunna bang.’

Ray laughed loudly. ‘Alright, I guess that’s my cue to leave. Remember, safe sex is good sex, wear a condom, don’t get pregnant.’ He listed off.

‘Wrap it before you tap it.’ Michael responded.

‘Don’t be silly wrap your willy.’ Ray laughed.

‘Michaeeel.' Gavin whined from over the phone, presumably feeling left out. Michael reached out and hung up the phone quickly, and there was a moment of silence.

‘Michael!’ Gavin cried from his position in the house, and Michael turned to Ray.

‘Run!’ He laughed. ‘But seriously, it’s a thank you note. Dickie Bitch made me write it. Don’t worry, you’ll still get your pony. But I figured, you know. It’s a start.’ He said, but he glanced up at Ray from beneath his eyelashes, and the red tinge to his pale cheeks was noticeable. Ray gave him a bright smile.

‘Thanks. Now I’m gunna leg it before Vav gets down here.’ Ray said.

‘I don’t blame you. Live for me, brother, I might never see the light of day again.’ Michael said dramatically, and Ray escaped through the front door.

He looked back just in time to see Gavin stumble down the last few stairs and into Michael’s arms, and they turned to wave goodbye to him as he drove away. He smiled to himself as he drove home, barely making it inside and onto his bed before he opened the note.

‘Do you think he’ll like it, Michael?’ Gavin asked as Michael led him up the stairs.

‘He better fuckin’ like it, I put a lot of effort into that shit!’ Michael declared.

‘I’m serious.’ Gavin whined, and Michael spun to face him, a smile playing on his lips.

‘He will. It’s Ray. The guy has a mushy side, all for us. Now stop worrying, I’ve got you.’ He said quietly, and leaned in to press a kiss gently to Gavin’s lips.

‘Don’t let go.’ Gavin giggled dramatically.

‘Way to ruin the moment, asshat.’ Michael laughed, and started walking again to the bedroom. He climbed onto the bed and pulled Gavin on top of him, running his hands up and down the other man’s sides.

‘You love it.’ Gavin responded cheekily. He nuzzled Michael’s nose with his before tilting his head up and pressing a kiss to it. ‘Eskimo kiss, remember Michael?’

‘Of course I remember.’ Michael muttered, cheeks flushing. ‘Who could forget such a perfect moment... of your idiocy.’

‘Aw, I thought you were gunna be really nice.’ Gavin pouted. Michael rolled his eyes and swapped their positions, holding his weight off of Gavin but remaining lying on him.

‘You want really nice? I’ll give you really nice.’ He said in a threatening tone, eyes sparkling. He loved the way Gavin’s eyes crinkled in response, and he lifted a hand to trace the side of Gavin's face.

'Terrifying.' Gavin mumbled, but he closed his eyes at Michael's gentle touch. 'What happens now, Michael?' He asked.

'The fuck kind of question is that? Same as always, idiot.'

Gavin shook his head, albeit sleepily. 'What are we? And what's gunna happen with the whole thing?' He asked, waving his hands to illustrate his point.

'I don't know, dude. Do we have to label it?' Michael replied, nose wrinkling. He saw Gavin stick his tongue out at him. 'Well, I mean- If you want?' he said, but it came out as a question. Gavin buried his face into the crook of Michael's neck in response.

Michael picked it up immediately. He sat up and turned to Gavin, who was frowning at him, eyes still closed, at the lack of contact.

'Open.' Michael commanded, and Gavin's eyes flicked open. Michael mulled over his words for a moment, trying to decide between going serious or funny, and eventually settled on what he knew Gavin would like best.

'Gavin… you're an idiot, but you're my idiot. I, Michael Jones, am also an idiot, because I didn't do this like 6 fucking months ago when I first started having feelings for you that, y'know, surpassed certified bro's. Which we still are. But my point is, Gav, you're fucking amazing and I know I shouldn't be making a speech out of this but damn dude I didn't know what to say, so I'll just ask. Gavin, will you be my boyfriend?'

A pause. 'Well, I guess.' Gavin shrugged, and Michael dived on him.

'You fucking asshole I worked really hard on that!' He yelled, and Gavin squealed, both from fear and laughter.

'Yes! I'll - _ah, Michael!_ \- I'll be your boyfriend. I'd love to, thought you'd never ask.' He winked, and Michael just thwacked him again.

'I can't believe you just did that. I put so much work into that, and you say you guess.' He shook his head, but he was smiling, and Gavin knew he didn't mind at all.

'I'm really glad you asked, Michael, because I care a mind boggling amount about you.'

'A mind boggling amount?'

'And I think you're pretty top, so I'd be delighted.' Gavin finished. 'I feel like we just got married.' He giggled, and Michael joined in.

'Is it sad that I'm imagining Jack handing Geoff twenty bucks, Ray telling us that it's about time and Ryan probably staring creepily at us?' Michael said.

'And Barb and Lindsay taking about a thousand photos and laughing?'

'And Kerry and Miles running out and telling absolutely everybody?'

'And Burnie making some terrible joke about sex in the closet?'

They deteriorated into laughter once more.


	18. Chapter 18

_Hey, Ray._

_Fuck. I really don't know how to start this. This whole thing, this note, is just the beginning of probably a million things I'm going to do in my quest to, you know, apologise and stuff. It was Gavin's idea, and he's making me tell you that because he's leaning over my shoulder trying to read it._

_He's gone now. Okay. Ray, I owe you so damn much it's not funny. You covered for my ass, you kept my secret, you stood up for me, you helped me, you took care of me, you lied for me, you got punched in the fucking face by an asshole for me, though I'm pretty sure that  wasn't intentional._

_I found out a fucking shit tonne of stuff about you, that I guess you never really wanted to talk about, and I'll respect that because I'm not fucking Gavin fuck **off** (ignore that he was reading over my shoulder again). I'll respect it. But if you ever want to talk, I'll talk. I mean, I know feelings are for girls, but for this note and whatever conversation you want to start, I'll push that aside for you._

_I owe you. So much. And I'm so goddamn fucking grateful, if you don't get the point by now. We were always like, bro's, ever since fucking grade school when I punched that asshole in the face for you (hey that sort of evens out) and I haven't regretted a minute of it._

_You're a great dude and an asshole like me doesn't really deserve someone like you as a friend, but I like to think you're stuck with me now. But if you don’t entirely trust me, or something like that, I’ll understand._

_Really._

_I also have no fucking idea what to say about how you still came after me at the end. I just wanted to let you know that you’re one in a million. I don't know many other people that would come after me when you knew I was going to do such an incredibly cunt move, after all you'd done to get and keep me off it._

_Like I said to Gavin, it was like one last big fuck you, going there, because I knew it'd hurt you. Like I **didn't** say to Gavin, some stupid, idiotic, hopefully dead part of me wanted to see if you'd still come after me, after I blatantly told you to get fucked and leave me to destroy everything you kind of worked to build. _

_Why did I do it?_

_Because I didn't want to believe you could be perfect. Perfect because of what you'd done and been willing to do, and I thought 'there's no way he's gunna come back again. He doesn't have to, he can pretend he doesn't know, he doesn't have to relive through shitty childhood memories that he worked hard to escape from. Nobody would come, so why would you?_

_But you did. For whatever reason - you did. And you brought Gavin and Geoff and everyone along, which I can't complain about and will not do so, because you prevented me for what feels like the thousandth time the past week from fucking up._

_I can't even be mad that you told Gavin. You saved me the trouble of doing it, and he forgives me, because he's an idiot with a heart the size of the damn universe and I think he'd forgive anybody for anything._

_And in a way, you got me him, too. And I'm so grateful for that. I mean, sure, maybe we would have got there in our own time, but it wouldn't have been the same._

_It never would have been as perfect as being on that mountain with him and you, lightning flashing around us when I kissed him._

_It would never have been the way he wrapped his arms around me and told me he’d protect me from the storm._

_It never would have been the exhilaration, the weightlessness that I thought I could only get from drugs again but you showed me could be achieved through the surprising things in life._

_You gave me that chance, and it was **perfect.**_

_He just fucking read that the little asshole, and now he's never gunna let me live it down. Thanks a bunch, Ray._

_Actually… really. Thank you._

_You kept me breathing through all that._

Michael rolled over to meet Gavin’s gaze, a smile dancing on his lips.

_You kept me thinking that maybe, it'll be okay._

'Gav?' He asked softly, and Gavin smiled at him.

'Yeah, my little Michael?'

_You dragged me out of something that, without you, I never could have gotten out of._

'I love you, Gavin.' He murmured, and pressed a warm kiss to his lips.

_You saved me, Ray, and you gave me Gavin._

'I love you too, Michael.'

_And for that, I have no words._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it.  
> It's been a good run.  
> *loud crying*  
> you've all been amazing and supportive and you're all lovely, and I hope you enjoyed the story, because I had a great time writing it.  
> now I'm gunna go cry lots bcos this story was my baby
> 
> as always, read & review <3


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